Trial It Out

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                         everyday is a journey.



Longing is God's fresh heavenward will,
With our poor earthly striving;
We quench it, that we may be still
Content with merely living.

But would we learn that heart's full scope
Which we are hourly wronging,
Our lives must climb from hope to hope,
And realize our longing.

--James Russell Lowell.

A good year ago, during the Winter Season, I decided to give up television as a trial to see if I could exist without it if need be. Well, I'm happy to report I don't miss it at all. I do have to admit that I use Netflix and my computer for any viewing of movies or shows. 

Not too long ago, I found myself in a room with the television going and I couldn't take my eyes off it. I was glued to the set watching commercials! Can you believe it? I sat there as if I've never seen a television set! I noticed right away that it took me away from the conversation in the room. I didn't care what was being said. All I cared about was what that screen had to say. 

That's pretty telling, isn't it? Talk about addiction! We can become addicted to just about anything. No longer is it just drugs and alcohol. Nowadays, people have all kinds of addictions. I can see why both of my children have this rule of no electronics during dinner. It truly does distract us from one another. 

I've learned that I could do without television, but I could not do without electricity. What if the power went out? What would I do? Yes, I could crochet, but I'm a multi-tasker! I do not know how to work on one solitary thing. Same thing with writing. I haven't written any blog of mine in long hand. Everything has been done on a computer. Back to the drawing board we go. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Oh, That Tiny Space

                                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


There's many a time when the bitterest thing
Is said without reason, and God knows
The courage it takes to suffer the sting,
By hiding the wounds that the heart shows.

There's many a sob we bravely keep down
For the sake of old times revered so,
There's many a head with thorns for a crown
Where kisses would soon make the heart glow.

--Edwin Leibfreed

I look around my room with total dismay. There isn't an inch that isn't covered in boxes, yarn, plastic bags or mats. Just last month, the tower of homeless mats fell on top of me while I was sleeping. Keeping order and being clutter free will be my biggest challenge in tiny living. 

How do I change that? How do I even begin?

Well, I need to stop multi-tasking altogether. I need to work on one single thing at a time. If I truly want to live tiny, I need to keep the clutter down to a minimal. Something I really have a hard time avoiding. No matter how many times I clean up that mess and start over, it doesn't take long before it becomes clutter once again. 

When I worked at the corporate office of a well known store chain, their President believed in a clutter free desk. He had  one of the cleanest desks I've ever seen. He would literally have one sheet on his desk as he worked. Not a stack. A sheet in his hands, that's all. He believed that we could not give 100% to that task if we were being distracted by other things. He also had a dislike for post it notes. Somehow, I don't think he would have approved of my room.

Every weekend, I have taken upon myself to change my behavior or at least, the appearance of my room. No matter how busy I may be that weekend, I make time to tackle something in here. The mats are long gone by now. The yarn stash can be a two way street. It can be abundant by spilling over onto the carpet or one can see the bottom of the bin. Right now, we are somewhere in between.

I have a long way to go to be in the place like that President of the company, but I am on my path. I may not be where I want to be, but I'm not where I used to be. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.  

Sustainable Living

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Light human nature is too lightly lost
And ruffled without cause, 
complaining on,
Restless with rest, 
until being overthrown,
It learneth to lie quiet.

--Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

I deeply admire people who live a sustainable lifestyle. These are the homesteaders, the Tiny House Dwellers and off grid living families. My family background comes from farming back in Poland. Maybe that's why it's my passion? It's in my blood? The love of it flows freely in my veins?

It seems that nowadays no matter where I go, everyone wants to inquire about my Tiny House situation. The problem is twofold: One, I have truly no idea in what direction I will go. Two, sometimes I feel people are amused and not taking me seriously on the subject. 

In all honesty, if I had all the resources available to me, I would go completely in a different direction altogether. I would purchase land with a small cabin. No more than two rooms or so. I don't need much. I could have my own garden and wood burning stove. There would be a water catchment system and solar panels. I could be off grid. 

Unfortunately, I don't have these resources. Even worse, I feel that people are secretly finding me amusing on this subject. They regard me as a dreamer, unrealistic and naive. I've never been a risk taker so of course, they may find it difficult to believe. On the other hand, they may be right. Maybe I have no idea what I'm getting into. All I know is that I'm tired of being afraid. 

I know of so many people who have given their notice at work, sold their belongings and uprooted their families to another state without a blink of fear. One even went to Puerto Rico! There were no jobs waiting for them. There were no safety nets. All they had were FAITH. They knew in their hearts, it was the right thing to do. I admire these people so much. 

I want to be that bold person. I want to live that lifestyle. I want this to happen. It may not happen in this life here on Earth, but I see myself being sustainable in every way concerning my gifts to serve the Lord in Heaven. Material things mean nothing to me. Right now, I'm making preemie baby hats that will be shipped all the way to Africa. How awesome is that? That means more to me than owning a designer handbag. I don't know how or when I will achieve my dream, but I do know it will happen one way or another. Trust in the Lord I will, for He will direct me so.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

3 Things

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


I am the man of a thousand loves,
A thousand loves have I;
And all my loves are white-winged doves,
That into my soul would fly.

I am the man of a thousand friends
Of tuneful memory;
And each of them spends the delicate ends
Of a brilliant day with me.

And all my gifts are magical words
That sing sweet songs to me;
And the sensitive words are caroling birds
In the garden of imagery.

--Edwin Leibfreed.

I think it's funny how people think that only the old can teach the young. I believe that the young can teach us old folks a few tricks, too. Recently, a friend of mine showed me the following 3 things that we can pass on to our children. 

Our Hands.
What are your gifts of the hands? The gifts we can teach others with our hands.

Our Head.
What are your gifts of the head? What special knowledge can you share with others?

Our Heart.
What is your gift of the heart? How can you inspire someone else?

                                                     Great words of wisdom. 

I thought about what we could leave for our children's children. When we pass away, eventually we will be forgotten. It is only normal, but something has to stay. Is it a mannerism that transfers from generation to generation? We already know that our physicality lives on through the ages. So do our cycles of addiction and trials. That's why it's important to deal with our struggles and resolve them. We don't want them to keep continuing into the next generations with the same problems. 

For me, I hope our faith in Jesus Christ continues long after I'm gone. I cannot think of anything better to leave behind then for all of them knowing Jesus. The mannerisms, the characteristics, the physicality will continue on no matter our desire for it. The faith? Well, that's different. That has to be taught.

I don't think that people realize the importance of having a spiritual life with God. They think they can go on through life handling things on their own. It usually takes a life threatening or life changing moment for them to see they have been secretly searching for spiritual enlightenment. Same thing happened to me. 

Of all the things to pass on, let it be the Word of God. Have a Blessed day everyone. 

The Next New Thing

                                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



I cannot do it alone,
The waves run fast and high,
And the fogs close chill around,
And the light goes out in the sky;
But I know that we two
Shall win in the end--God and I.

--Unknown.

I have a pet peeve, a REALLY big pet peeve. I cannot stand any advertisement about the incredible new juice or shake or pill that will cure what ails you. Try this drink every morning, noon and night to see the difference at your next doctor visit. People who could not move around suddenly are doing back flips. They all carry the name "new" in them, too. New Life, Pro Life, Nu Shake. Whatever.

Since my cancer, there is always a well meaning person out there that would love to introduce me to that cancer cure of all times. Eating your blueberries and broccoli everyday will prevent the cancer from coming back. The same can be said of beets. Please believe me when I say I am not mocking any of these vegetables. I love veggies! 

Now, I'm falling off track here. My big pet peeve is with these miracle cures of all time. Usually they come in the form of a supplement or a shake. And that's great. There is nothing wrong with taking nutritional vitamins or shakes to help improve our bodies, but we have to remember that they are not the end all solution to the medical problem. We need medical treatment by a qualified medical staff.

I can remember many eons ago, when my mom's friend was diagnosed with cancer. She decided to go the all natural path by drinking these special teas that were to do a miraculous healing. I am being sarcastic, I'm sorry. She decided on this holistic type of treatment and refused chemo/radiation. Her cancer was stage one and treatable. Her odds were great. In reality, because of her choice in going with all natural healing, she lasted only a couple of months. 

Our fight for life is so great within us that we want to believe these ads on television. We want to believe we can be cured without the suffering or the pain of chemo. We want to believe that all we have to do is drink a shake or take a pill and it will be alright. I wish it were that simple. 

Please go see your doctor. Go get that MRI or Ct. scan. Go to your chemo treatment or radiation. Don't be afraid to seek medical attention from a professional. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Seek God. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

Coming Up

                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.




This above all to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou can'st not then be false to any man.

--William Shakespeare.

I love looking into the future whenever we have new things coming up. I get all excited at all the new projects in the anticipation of how they will turn out. I'm not exactly sure what excites me more, the projects or the idea of something new?

Before being diagnosed, I used to plan everything. I looked toward my future with excitement as aging did not scare me as it has most people. I thought of my retiring years as something to look forward to. I mean, the children would be grown, financially we would be sound and we would have freedom to do whatever I wanted. Who wouldn't be happy about that?

All of that changed when I found out I had cancer. I began living for the moment. As one year turned into two, then five and now ten, I found myself thinking from Season to Season. I enjoy all the Seasons and the change they bring. We need them.

So for the next couple of months, we plan on finishing up old projects. It seems that has been the theme for the year. We also take this time to stock up and prepare for the Winter months. We fill up our medicine cabinet, stock up the pantry and wash all the blankets in preparation of the cold Winter ahead. 

I am looking forward, as I do every year, to the burrowing inside. This is the time where I do the most crocheting for my Ministry as well as the writing on my blog. Outside activities are limited, as is the sunshine in the sky. As people look to this time for the pumpkin spice flavoring in everything, I look to the quiet and stillness that it brings. Bring on the books I've wanted to read. Bring on the movies I've still to see. Bring on my sanctuary. 

Have a blessed day everyone.  

The Family Tree

                                                                      Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


Quiet, Lord, my froward heart,
  Make me teachable and mild,
  Upright, simple, free from art,
  Make me as a weaned child;
  From distrust and envy free,
  Pleased with all that pleaseth Thee.
J. NEWTON.

Our family has not only expanded over the years in numbers, but has spread out across the United States. Getting together all under one roof is increasingly becoming more difficult. That wasn't always the case. 

When all the children were little, all of us lived no more than three blocks or so from one another. There wasn't a day that all of the grandkids weren't over, tripping over one another with all their shoes and book bags. The first six grew up together, eating and playing as siblings rather than cousins. 

Things are different now. They are grown and living out their own lives just the way they should. Getting together is fast becoming difficult as they grow older. There was a time when people stayed in the same house for years and years. That isn't true any longer. People are constantly moving due to career moves or personal living needs. 

Holidays, birthdays, weddings, you name it. Getting everyone together in one place is almost impossible. One sees some of them, but not all of them at one time. How does that happen? It's all part of growing up. They go out, get married and begin their own little family tree that grows and grows. It happens generation after generation. 

I've always wanted to have a family reunion of sorts once a year. One sees families do this by having a picnic or a weekend retreat. Wouldn't that be great? Everyone could get together for a few days a year. In reality, families usually don't all get along. There is always someone who isn't speaking to someone or has beef with that someone. Why is that? It always goes back to Adam and Eve. 

Do any of you have family reunions? If so, where and what kind? I would love to hear from you on this topic. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

The Appointment.

                                                           Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                            everyday is a journey.



He who plants a tree
Plants a hope.
Rootlets up through fibers blindly grope,
Leaves unfold unto horizons free.
So man's life must climb
From the clods of time
Unto heavens sublime.
Canst thou prophesy,
 thou little tree,
What the glory of the boughs shall be?

--Lucy Larcom. 

It's been so long since I've been there, that I almost forgot about the appointment. Thank goodness, I happened to look at the calendar for another reason. There it was staring up at me, 10 a.m. this Friday, Dr. K. 

I have been so blessed this year not to have any doctor appointments. Truly blessed. So I went, hoping to get home as soon as possible as I was still going in to work. No need to take a day off if I can go in the morning. 

The oncology visit went well, even better than expected. I love my Doctor K. and we have a very easy going relationship. We joke around, are never embarrassed around each other, or at least I'm not. 

It's always like being in a bar with you, not a doctor's office. 

For some reason, that really delighted me. It literally sent me into giggles. Now, I have said I love my Oncologist, but I feel differently when it comes to some parts of her clinic. Take the lab, for instance, horrible service! They will make you wait and wait and wait. The same goes for the scheduling receptionists. I think we waited a total of 11 minutes on hold while trying to schedule one appointment. What I'm trying to say here is that all of it takes quite a while. Time that I truly don't have. I have to get to work.

This time, all of that took even longer than usual. For the first time in these ten years, I walked out without getting my labs done. I was done waiting. Hospital and doctor personnel have no respect for our time. I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone right now. That is not my intention. We are trying to live as normally as possible. We cannot afford to be taking off work to make these appointments. Time is very precious to us and we need to get to work. I don't have the privilege of walking in and out whenever I want. If my appointment is at 10 a.m., that's when I should be called into the room, not 10:30 a.m.

Okay, rant over. Everything else went well. I don't have to go back for a checkup nor a scan until January. How awesome is that? Praise God!

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The Handicap

                                                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journal.



I rest beneath the Almighty's shade,
    My griefs expire, my troubles cease;
  Thou, Lord, on whom my soul is stayed,
    Wilt keep me still in perfect peace.
C. WESLEY.

I've been thinking a lot lately. . . about everything, but especially about my health. My goal has always been to be as independent as possible regardless of my chronic illness. The quality of life matters extremely to me. It is not something that I take lightly. In the past, I have pushed myself to high standards all because of that fact. I never wanted to look or act like a victim.

This last treatment brought out some issues that I needed to address. As time has gone by, these same issues have gotten worse. It's only expected since I have been at this cancer for over ten years now. My body feels worn out and I have to slow down a bit even if I don't want to.

I feel my body deteriorating while I'm at work more than anywhere else. Maybe, because I am on my feet the entire time. It could be also the fact that the parking lot is huge and the walk is long, especially now when we have over a hundred agency everyday. The parking spaces are limited and that means that the majority of us have to park on the other side of the building. An even longer walk. 

I've decided to apply for a handicap tag. This isn't easy for me. There is a part of me that is finding this quite difficult to accept. I've always wanted to live my life as normally as possible without coming across as a victim. I may have a chronic illness (cancer), but it doesn't hamper my lifestyle. Or at least, I've always tried for it not to. 

The process is not easy, I guess. I've downloaded the form and now have to go to my GP to fill out. I am a little nervous since I'm always told how great I look. I feel as if I will have to defend this action to my GP and to others. I know it sounds silly, but this is how I feel. I'll keep everyone posted on how things go. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The Anniversary

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Not from the dangers that beset our path
From storm or sudden death, or pain or wrath,
We pray deliverance;
But from the envious eye, the narrowed mind
Of those that are the vultures of mankind
Thy aid advance.

Not at the strong man's righteous rage or hate,
But at the ambushed malice laid in wait
Thy strength arise;
At those who ever seek to spot the fair
White garments of a neighbor's character
With mud of lies.

--Theodosia P. Garrison^.

<sup>The minute I pulled into the parking lot, my entire mood shifted from carefree to just plain bad. I started complaining about the lack of parking space and the distance I had to walk. Suddenly, I could feel the ache of all my joints, knees and the carpel tunnel in my right hand. If there was an ache somewhere on my body, I felt it right then and there. Everything felt wrong.

It must have been my work anniversary that brought on all these negative feelings and thoughts. I have worked here for 22 years this month. I felt so unappreciated and discontented, but was it really fair? Was it really the job that made me feel like that? Or was it the fact of where I was in my life? I am where I am, but I'm not where I want to be. 

I had spent such a lovely weekend with my Ministry ladies doing Ministry work. I love what I do outside of my work. I felt fulfilled and satisfied with the productiveness of the weekend. Then I walked into here.

As the day went on, everything changed, I  could feel myself falling deeper and deeper into a depressed state. Nothing made me happy. Nothing seemed right. My cup was half empty. All I wanted was to leave and go home continuing my other life. What I considered my happy life.

It's so hard to feel thankful when all we see are lemons among the ruins. As one of my friends pointed out, my work life seems to interfere with my private life. Almost blocking my light. That's true. I need my job to pay for my existence. This is how I make a living, but it doesn't satisfy me. This isn't my Ministry. This isn't my life. 

I was never able to combine my work with a calling like our Pastors have always mentioned in Church. I have heard numerous sermons on how God has placed us where we are at for a reason. I never have been able to find that reason in relations to a Holy calling. How do I use my job to do the work of Christ there? Never been able to see it. 

There have been so many changes here in the last five years. My shift has been eliminated and so has my position. I went to a different shift that altered my daily schedule drastically. A new position I had to learn. Many adjustments and only a few that were pleasant. It was difficult for me to adapt to the new environment. This is certainly not what I thought my remaining years would look like at work. A very humbling experience.

This is a reminder on how quickly our life can change. Are we prepared for what is to come? I doubt it. Many of us basically float from one day to the next living in a dream state of one day things will be different. 

A fellow co-worker has passed away on the weekend. I cannot help, but wonder if she was prepared spiritually. What was her faith like? Life is truly short. She died in her sleep, relatively young, between forties and early fifties. So quick, she's onto her next journey. Did she make her life count while she was here. I certainly hope that is the case for me. I want to make every minute count. I'm sure you do, too.

Have a blessed day everyone.</sup> 

A Beth Moore Simulcast

                                             

                                                        Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                         everyday is a journey.


Then every tempting form of sin,
Shamed in Thy presence, disappears,
And all the glowing, raptured soul
The likeness it contemplates wears.
P. DODDRIDGE.

I feel so privileged to belong to a Church that offers so many opportunities for one's growth. One, there are so many ways one can volunteer. Two, they host quite a few speakers throughout the year. I had the privilege of hearing one of those speakers via a simulcast, the one and only Beth Moore. 

Now, I have heard Beth speak many times before and I have been in multiple of her Bible studies. Today's topic was Captivated:The Wonder Of Christ On The Winding Road. 

Again, I love her dearly, but her dress styles are something out of this world. I don't know of anyone quite like her. She certainly has her own style. Emily says that's because she knows who she is and is not afraid to show it. That's right, girl, go for it!

I've never been to this campus location of Willowcreek-South Lake. The beautiful, scenic landscape surrounding the building was as opulent as the neighborhood it resided in. I certainly wasn't among my fellow neighbors of my home.

We were given a booklet that could be used as a journal. You know, I just love these sort of things. 

                                         
I felt as if she was speaking directly to me. It just confirmed my deepest desires to serve my community within my Ministry, this blog and any future endeavors in store for me. 

                                                      
We are to bear fruit, grow in knowledge, be strengthened  and give thanks. We need to put on our body of Christ and go out into the world to help somebody, feed somebody, pray for somebody.

We are living among the beautiful and the brutal, because we belong to a place we have never been to. I can't wait to get there. I'm ready. How about you?

1 Corinthians 2:9New King James Version (NKJV)

9 But as it is written:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard,
Nor have entered into the heart of man
The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.”[a]

Have a blessed day everyone.

Homelessness

                                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


Though waves and storms go o'er my head,
    Though strength and health and friends be gone,
  Though joys be withered all, and dead,
    Though every comfort be withdrawn,
  On this my steadfast soul relies,--
    Father! Thy mercy never dies.
JOHANN A. ROTHE.

Walking out of the shelter, I come face to face with a group of people walking in. They shuffle in single file, all tired and disheveled looking. Children included. That's what startled me the most . . . the children. We think of homelessness as that man at the crosswalks, carrying a sign. We don't associate homeless with children. 

If Emily and I come to a traffic light and there is a homeless person begging for money, we will give him/her a few dollars. We have been criticized for it, but we have a completely different outlook regarding it. We believe that we as Christians, are meant to feed the hungry and clothe the naked. What ever they do with that money is on them and not on us. We have done our part as followers of Christ. 

We know that others don't hold the same views on this topic as we do. That's okay. This is us. This is what we do. What all of you may do could be entirely different. All of us are held accountable to God for our actions. 

One of my great fears is that I will grow cold towards the needs of others. If I stop caring, then I have failed to be living in the image of God. It will be a very long time before I forget the two little girls I saw walking into that shelter. A long time. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

3 Sundays

                                                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



 So others shall
  Take patience, labor, to their heart and hand,
  From thy hand, and thy heart, and thy brave cheer,
  And God's grace fructify through thee to all.
  The least flower with a brimming cup may stand,
  And share its dewdrop with another near.
E. B. BROWNING.

They say, one must visit a Church three times before one can make an assumption about that Church. Each of those Sundays will be different and that is the entire point of the three Sunday visits. One can see all different aspects of a Church.

The same can be said of any situation in life. I, myself, have a tendency to overstay my welcome in any given situation. Talk about beating a dead horse. I never can quite let go just in case this might be the breakthrough. I have stayed in broken relationships far longer than what was good for me. That goes the same for my financial status or even any personal friendship. I stay on hoping that a breakthrough will happen, all my patience and labor will be worthwhile. 

Of course, many times that has not happened. I wish I followed the 3 Sunday concept when it came to all my life's decisions. What makes us hold on far longer than what it's worth? I mean, if we were visiting a Church, our minds would be made up on that first day whether we would stay or not. Why can't we do the same with our personal lives? 

HOPE. Hope keeps us moving forward believing things will change. Without hope, we have nothing. To me, God provides that hope. There are people out there who have no idea what hope looks like, feels like or even what it is in general. Imagine if we practiced the 3 Sunday rule on them? Many people out there would miss out on a God who both loves them and forgives them. I'm glad there were the seed planters that kept on way past the third Sunday and never gave up on me. 

Have a blessed day everyone.