Celebrating Too Early.

                                    Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey. 

 I sat in my car, staring blindly into the dark night. I sat there, willing my aching body to move. My poor feet ached so bad, the soles burned. I have forgotten how much walking I do at work. Almost four months off and now my poor body has to get acclimated all over again. We all had days like these where everything hurts and we couldn't wait to get home. 

On top of all that, my radiation may be over, but my symptoms were still here. Or at least for another three weeks, according to my doctor. Fun. Eating has become a huge problem. I can only take in small amounts of food every two hours or so. My breakfast may include a slice of toast with jelly and half a banana on top. Two hours later I will have a banana or apple. Lunch may include a bowl of soup. . . brothy soup. And so on and so on. Well, at least I have found a diet that actually works for me.

So what happens if I don't comply with my diet? Nothing pleasant, I assure you. I have been dealing with bathroom problems ever since this recovery. I'm almost afraid this will be my new lifestyle. Add on nausea, cramps, the tingling and numbness in my hands and I'm done. It hasn't been easy for me to see myself in this manner. It's even harder for me to share it with the world. I feel like the Lord is wringing me out to see what comes out. Or at least, for only the goodness to come out.

So I've been floating amidst the happy clouds, but I need to come down to Earth. All this celebrating is fine and dandy, but the symptoms are still here. Even my doctor says that things will never be quite the same in that department. Oh goodie. 

There is still so much to do. I'm celebrating way too early. Since so much of my time has been spent on radiation and work, I find myself backlogged with chores and errands. Not to mention, I haven't been around socially during much of my treatment and now everyone would love to see me. Let's not forget my bold step project.

Does it sound like I'm complaining? I hope not. I love and appreciate all the attention I've received in completion of my radiation, but we are celebrating way too early. Nothing is for certain in how any of this will go. Let's say that we are celebrating the completion of going to radiation everyday. As for everything else, slowly and surely will win the race.

Have a Blessed day everyone.