The Decision

                                                        Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        Everyday is a journey.

I was up very early in anticipation of the call from my Oncologist. Once I make up my mind about something, I just want to get going with it. These past two days I've been trying to stay as busy as possible going over all my paperwork and organizing my desk. I even began packing my overnight/chemo bag. 

I've decided to have the surgery to remove the cancer growth . Originally at her office I rejected the idea, but decided to spend the next several days thinking about it. Actually, I wanted to hear what my children thought on that subject. 

Many factors go into my decision. Firstly, I'm developing a hernia (most likely caused by past surgeries) and it would be fixed during this procedure. I am in no pain whatsoever, mainly because it's in early stages.  Secondly, the growth itself seems to be perfectly oval shaped and easily accessible. Thirdly, I would be killing two birds with one stone here. Fourthly, I am in good health with my body nice and strong. Fifthly, by removing it, it might borrow me some more time before the next bout. 

On the flip side, I have many concerns. One, being off work on FMLA  is not something that I particularly want to experience again. There is so much red tape involved here and I want to focus all of my attention to recovery. Two, I don't do well with surgeries.  My last experience with this happened nine years ago. I ended up with so many complications that kept me in and out of the hospital for the next four months. Plus, a total of six months before I could go back and then it was three days a week. No, I certainly don't want to relive all of that again. Three, all my plans for the year went out the window in swift motion. Not only will I use up majority of my vacation time, but also drain my finances. Four, even  if things go smoothly, we are looking at a month at home recovering. Pain, awful pain. 

So I'm not exactly happy about it, but I see the benefits of going through with the surgery. Our next move? Scheduling that very important day.

Have a Blessed day everyone.