Last Friday, I arrived for my Petscan quite early. A whole hour ahead of schedule, even the technicians haven't arrived yet. I sat in my car, reading my devotions for the day as those irritating drizzle raindrops fell from the sky. If it rains, it should at least try to be consistent and a drizzle is none of that. I came a little early on purpose, hoping to get out a little faster since my morning was extremely full before work.
I know you're all wondering why I'm having a Petscan done since I've just had a Ct scan done a week ago. Well, a Petscan is specifically designed for detecting cancer. My insurance kept denying my oncologist's request for a Petscan and only approving a Ct scan. It's all about money, but I guess now that it's showing growth it's another matter altogether.
There is also a difference in the procedure. For instance, a Petscan involves being injected by radioactive sugar.You're reclining in a comfy chair covered with a warm blanket for like an hour. All this is supposed to relax your muscles so they can see inside sort of like Predator ( in the movie) could see humans. Of course, you are drinking that awful contrast, too. After an hour, you go inside the scanner for another 20-25 minutes. Any cancer should light up glowingly. It's a more accurate test and that's why my oncologist requested it.
Now, I need to talk about my feelings regarding this additional setback in my life. I don't want anyone to have the wrong idea that I'm depressed, saddened or upset in any way. This coming May, it will be nine years since my first bout with cancer. In these nine years, I have gone through numerous emotional upheavals and all of them were different from each other. Each new bout brings a whole set of new things for me to learn about myself. So I'm okay and I don't want anyone to think otherwise.
As to this bout, my main concern is to be able to incorporate my treatments into my work life. What I mean is that this cancer is a way of life for me. I don't want it to define who I am, but refine me into a better individual. I want to enjoy my life doing all the things I am passionate about without too much interference. I will need lots of help and I will accept that help, but it should not change my love of life.
In all honesty, I've already processed all my emotions and am ready to go. Let's get started with this new chapter in my life.
Have a blessed day everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment