"Hello Ms. Krol? This is Dr. K."
"Oh yes, Dr. K. Are you calling me back with the results?"
"The latest Ct. scan shows the cancer has grown . . . . "
Her voice went on and I heard only bits and pieces of it. Something about Connie calling me back with an appointment for a Petscan. We'll talk about our next move at the scheduled appointment. I think this is the first time a treatment I've been on (hormone) that hasn't worked for very long, a mere five months only.
Quite honestly, I have no idea how or what to feel. My mind works in a different way than most people. I need to process these feelings first by going off into solitude. Whenever there is a new trial or struggle in my life, I'm usually very quiet. I need the silence to think.
My stress levels go up when I cannot do just that. Things start piling up one by one, piece by piece and finally I cannot take it anymore. I lose it. This week was no different. In my heart, I knew the only time I could go into my loner mode would be over the weekend late at night and at Church. I was definitely looking forward to this weekend!
I'm feeling better about it already. I think that God provides busyness in our lives so we don't think too much, which is also my problem. So what is going to happen? Not exactly sure, but I suspect it will involve a chemo infusion. I'll keep everyone updated as soon as I know more. As for now, one can never have too many prayers.
Have a Blessed day everyone.
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