Stormy Days

The storm raged all day and night . Lightening flashed across the sky . Streets and basements flooded , water spilling over through any convenient opening . Huge puddles littered the sidewalks and the splatter of heavy raindrops could be heard on the window pane .

The storm raged on .

In the morning , people awoke to flooded basements , flooded streets and flooded cars . All over Facebook , people were seen sifting through the storm that passed in their lives .

Storms come and go , but the cleanup remains .

This past week , storms have been chasing me . It started with Sunday's sermon on storms . Emily's Bible group focused on the storms in their lives . A few of my friends  recounted to me the many storms they are facing . The aftermaths of my chemo affected my feet . Then the rain began . . . .

Storms . You're either in one , or coming out of one  , or heading into one  .

Many people think my cancer is my storm , but somehow , I just don' t believe that . Cancer has become so mundane to me  , so everyday , such a normal part of my life . How can that be my storm ? No , cancer is not my storm .

The perfect storm brings you to a breaking point .

I seriously thought about that sentence . Of all the things Ive been through lately in my life , what is my storm ? If I could change one part of my life , what would that be ? What is my breaking point ?

Cancer has been a learning process in my life . I wouldn't change that . The pain I experience because of the cancer comes and goes . It certainly differs in the extent of pain depending on the treatment , but basically it never really goes away .

My storm would be acceptance to what I can physically do now . There are times that I hunger for my old body  , which is strange to me . That old body was rotten and full of cancerous tumors . Why am I missing it ?

The perfect storm is a place of transformation .

Yes , transformation . As I look out the window , all that I see is the green of the grass  and trees . This terrible storm that passed left in it's wake this lush beauty . It brought forth the buds of new life .

I try to remind myself that there is beauty in my storm . Then why can't I accept it ? This is my body now . Why don't I like it ? Why am I fighting it ?

Yes , the storm passed through and the cleanup begins .

Have a Blessed day everyone .