But souls that of His own good life partake,
He loves as His own self; dear as His eye
They are to Him: He 'll never them forsake:
When they shall die, then God Himself shall die;
They live, they live in blest eternity.
HENRY MORE.
For someone who has a recurrent cancer, remission isn't what it's cracked up to be. Right after treatment, we welcome the respite of remission. Our bodies are tired, we are tired and we are tired of being in the hospital. We look forward to recuperating and trying to get back to our old routines.
Unfortunately, the recuperation takes quite awhile and the long lasting side effects to the treatment kick in almost immediately. Six months turn into one year and we can't believe how much time has passed. The healing process is still in effect, the results small indeed. Our bodies will never be what they once were before the cancer.
The longer we are in remission, the more we are waiting for the other shoe to drop. It's almost like a suspense novel and each month that passes, the anxiety deepens. Every scan or blood test could be "the one" that will show a relapse. When we pass with flying colors, we leave the Oncologist's Office believing that next time we won't be so lucky.
Our anxiety grows and worry sets in. Every ailment whether small or not, we relate it back to the cancer. Right now, I am two months shy of three years in remission. I wish I could say that it will never come back. There are so many factors that one has to deal with when a recurrence happens. One can easily become tired of the entire process. It's like a beat down that never ceases, but goes on and on and on.
My co-workers are like many people out there who are not familiar with cancer and how it works. The minute remission sets in, they assume that life goes back to normal. Wrong! Life never goes backwards, but moves forward. According to them, you beat cancer. Well, I have news for you, there's no beating cancer. All we do is put the monster to sleep and hope he doesn't awaken anytime soon. That's remission, folks.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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