Generation To Generation: Breaking The Cycles

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,

                                                                  everyday is a journey.

We weave our thoughts into heart-spun plans,

And weave secure for a fitful day,

But lose in the web of earthly things

The pattern of sublimity.

Shall days spring up as wild vines grow,

Unheeding where they climb or cling?

Consider, child, before you sow,

wait not until harvesting.

--M. B. S.

I have been very interested in looking back to our family history to see if we could discover a link in behavioral science that appears from generation to generation. What are some of the cycles that occur in every generation? There are many, I'm sure. Every family has their cycles that never get broken, but repeated from generation to generation. 

You see, I've done my family tree, but this one would be a little different from the others. On this tree, I've listed not the birth and deaths, but all the things we have struggled with as individuals and as a family. 

For instance, the alcoholism, multiple marriages, financial woes and things like that. When one is honest when making this family tree, one can discover a pattern that keeps repeating itself over and over again. We all have these repeating factors, because none of our families are perfect. Far from it. Remember that saying that goes families look good on pictures only? It's really true.

The most important factor here is finding the repetitive patterns and actually do something about them in the next generation. My children's and grandchildren's generation should be so much better in handling these same struggling issues. So how do we change them?

For one thing, we have to stop having secrets. Families have secrets, because we are embarrassed by all the skeletons in the closet. Just imagine if the so and so knew all about them?

Second thing, we have to make a conscious effort in turning things around. For instance, a few years back I had enough of struggling financially from one paycheck to another. I enrolled myself in a 9 week financial class and finally turned things around in my late forties. Now, I make sure that my daughter continues this by teaching her the same money matters that I learned in that class. 

Thirdly, we must develop and enact moral values. Open up that Bible, go to Church and actually start living out the Word of God. I am not perfect, folks and neither are my children, but we are trying. 

Lastly, we have to lovingly and I mean lovingly, let our family know that certain behavior is unacceptable in our home. We will love them and be there for them, but we will not support destructive behavior. Alcoholism is alcoholism. Adultery is still adultery. One cannot sugar coat what is wrong. The only way we will ever grow as a family unit and become a strong bond is when we break the chains that hold our generations captive. We have to change. Period.

Have a blessed day everyone.