There are some hearts like wells green-mossed and deep
As ever summer saw,
And cool their water is, yea, cool and sweet;
But you must come to draw.
They hoard not, yet they rest in calm content,
And not unsought will give;
They can be quiet with their wealth unspent,
So self-contained they live.
—Author
unknown.
Over the years, people often ask me about how I found out I had cancer or how I felt about it, but they never ever asked about the family. We often forget the family and close friends of the cancer patient. They, too, are going through this horrible ordeal and often find themselves becoming the leaders in their households, caregivers and cheerleaders. Many times, they place their own emotions and concerns to the side in order to be the protector of the patient.
I can remember my own children during that first time . . . the diagnosis of their mother having cancer. Joey was living in Missouri at his very first job in radio. He shared his thoughts, feelings and continually updated his listeners on my health. He dealt with it in this manner. Emily, on the other hand, was sort of kept in the dark. Certain people felt she was too young and they were trying to spare her. She was graduating high school and beginning her first year in culinary school.
That is the one thing I regret . . .. my children and their role in it. I wish I was more aware of their feelings in regard to the cancer. I was basking in the love of my family and I trusted in their opinion on the matter. I should have involved my children more in the beginning, but I really didn't. That's my regret.
Nowadays, things are a bit different. Nowadays, they are the ones that know everything about my treatment. They know things that no one else does, because in the end, it will be them that will take care of me. It will be them two that will bury me. It will be them two making difficult decisions about me.
Of course, we all have that one family member that we are afraid of telling, because we are not sure how they will take it. They are way too emotional to handle trials. You know what happens, I will have to comfort them, instead of them comforting me. Deciding the best way to tell the other family members has always held much concern for me. There is no perfect 3 step method on doing so. It's not pleasant. It's not easy, but it has to be done. The way on how it is approaches depends on the individuals involved and what place they are at in their life. That's the best I can offer.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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