The Chaotic Pantry

                                                               Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                everyday is a journey.



Chance cannot touch me! 
Time cannot hush me!
Fear, 
Hope, and longing,
 at strife;
Sink as I rise, on, on,
 upward forever,
Gathering strength, 
gaining breath--
Naught can sever
Me from the Spirit of Life.

--Margaret Fuller.

My beautifully organized pantry of old has turned into a chaotic mess! I would take a picture, but I'm way too embarrassed. Every time I walk inside, I imagine all of it tumbling down on top of me. I hate a mess! I detest clutter of any kind! To me, it just represent the mess in my life. 

Do I feel as if my life is a mess right now? Yes! I need order and stability. Right now, I have neither. There is this longing inside of me, a deep yearning and it cannot be materialized. Hence, the insecurity, the instability, the unease. Ugh, life is so hard!

I've been slowly cleaning up the shelves in that pantry. It was the pantry that sold me on this apartment. Otherwise, the place needed some work, but I always wanted a walk in pantry. Even as a child, I dreamed of having one where the shelves were stocked with everything up to the ceiling and I wanted nothing. All was there for my taking. To me, it seemed that the pantry represented security. Funny, isn't it?

Last year, we also stocked it up with items that were okay, but it took that long to finish it off. Would I buy it again? Nope, not all of it. My first pantry, I went a little crazy stocking up on almost everything at the store. I am a little selective this time around. The pantry is also filled with other things as well like cookware, coats and cleaning tools like a vacuum cleaner. What's in your pantry?

So I'm cleaning it up slowly, as I go. Sort of like my life right now. We are not living in a sitcom where our problems are solved in 30 minute intervals. Solutions take time and a lot of work. Besides, just like the pantry, you want to fill your life with all the right stock. 

Have a blessed day everyone.