We would not meagre gifts down-call
When Thou dost yearn to yield us all;
But for this life, this little hour,
Ask all Thy love and care and power.
J. INGELOW.
My next door neighbor, Allison, has cancer. She hasn't said anything to me, but I know the signs. The shaven head, the clear plastic across her chest signifying a port, her sudden staying at home. The list is endless and her entire routine has changed. I even know when she is having treatment, because she locks herself in her apartment and doesn't come out for several days.
It has taken me the entire year and a half for Allison to respond to me. She is extremely withdrawn, quiet and aloof. That doesn't stop me from acknowledging her presence. Hello Allison. Have a good day Allison. It's cold today, Allison. I respect her reserved character and don't push myself onto her. That is one of our biggest problem as a society, we push ourselves onto others. We all are different and that difference should be respected. Not everyone responds kindly to a bull in a china shop. Some people respond to quiet kindness.
At first, I made her an afghan that she can use for chemo or at home while laying on her couch. Wherever or however she may want to use it. Secondly, I left her a bag full of nausea defying items like saltine crackers and two types of ginger tea. Either times, I didn't knock on her door, just left it there.
I did that for a couple of reasons: One, I tried to respect her desire to be left alone. Two, I certainly didn't want to disturb her if she was resting. Three, I didn't want to overwhelm her with too many visitors.
People always ask me how they can help someone going through treatment. They keep asking me that question and yet, I find they don't truly listen. My last treatment was very bittersweet. I had many visitors that would bring me food or call me. That is wonderful, but the one thing I wanted or needed the most was rest. When people would drop by, I would have to entertain them and provide refreshment. They would sit with me for hours and I would become tired. I know people mean well, but do try to remember our bodies are extremely fatigued. If you are planning on visiting a sick friend bringing goodies, please stay an hour tops and allow them to rest.
I hope I don't offend anyone saying all of this, because it is not my intention. I always appreciate everything that people do for me. Always.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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