Monday, October 23, 2017

Radiation 4

                                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, 
                                                                   everyday is a journey.


When on my aching, burdened heart
    My sins lie heavily,
  My pardon speak, new peace impart,
    In love remember me.
T. HAWEIS.

What does God want me to see? I asked myself this question ten years ago when I first was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I felt so deeply that God wanted me to see something here and I was so afraid of missing it. To this day, every treatment I endure, I ask myself this question. You see, I believe we have a lesson to learn through each of our struggles. If not a lesson, there is something here that God is saying to us. 

That's what happened last Summer to me while in radiation treatment. God was speaking to me and I didn't want to hear none of it. I wanted to dwell inside of myself in the "it's all about me" mode. I didn't want to see or hear about anyone else's pain. I wanted to wallow in mine. I fought Him and I lost. You see, the more we fight God, the harder our own lives become. 

That's why it's very important to take the time to be still in our trials and pay close attention to what is going on around us. If we're angry or emotional or even bitter, there is something weighing heavily on our hearts that we may need to work on. Don't resent it, but embrace it. Pain may hurt, but it also cleanses and we come out on the other side a lot stronger. We become adept with each new struggle at handling what is thrown at us. 

Going through treatment can be a very satisfying and a very cleansing spiritual journey into finding out who we were and who we are intended to become. So take a walk and admire the beauty, the serenity and the calmness of the world around us. Go ahead and sit on the bench, watching people as they go about their lives. You can learn so much just by being still. God is speaking so ask Him what it is He wants you to see. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

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