Why do funerals bring out the worst in people? We'd like to think we would behave better, but would we? Do we? Or is it the preparations of a funeral that bring out the worst in us? Each family member trying their very best in honoring the deceased and in believing they know what kind of funeral would reflect the personality. That's why it is important to tell your loved ones of your wishes beforehand. It's not morbid, it's smart.
I've been to all types of funerals ranging from huge events to just family members. Some are filled with baptisms and with long lines of testimonies of remembrance of the deceased. Others more solitary with hardly any visitors at all. The size of the funeral doesn't mean anything at all. What does matter to me is whether the person was loved or not. Or rather, how much.
Yet, there is another side to funerals. The one where regular, sane relatives let loose a beast from within when a family member passes. Suddenly, these same people who have shown love to one another will bicker over the type of songs to play at the funeral. Or spend time arguing over who shall do what and when. I used to say that it wouldn't happen with me. We get along here, my brothers and I.
Really?
I think that we can be extremely naive when it comes to basic human nature. We look at other people's situations and claim to never behave in that manner, but we all know the truth. We can and will act that way. And when it's over, we will feel horrible or make excuses for it.
You see, I believe we have real good intentions. We want the arrangements to be the best, but most of all, we want to be secretly acknowledged by the person who passed. It is a final testament to who you were to that person. If the relationship was great, that need for approval isn't required or needed. When it's the opposite, it is a hurtful longing, full of emptiness that might never be filled. That beast will emerge and finally be heard.
Death is painful when it should be beautiful. That only can happen if we are spiritually ready for the next journey in our life. Are you ready? Are all of your relationships healed? Do you have all your ducks in a row? If not, don't ever think you have plenty of time for that later, because you don't. Why not make that transition of yours as painless as possible for the people we leave behind.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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