Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.
O yet we trust that somehow good
Will be the final goal of ill,
To pangs of nature,
sins of will
,Defects of doubt, and taints of blood;
That nothing walks with aimless feet;
That not one life shall be destroyed,
Or cast as rubbish to the void,
When God hath made the pile complete.
That not one life shall be destroyed,
Or cast as rubbish to the void,
When God hath made the pile complete.
--Alfred Tennyson.
Incognito:
When you want to do something and not be recognized, go incognito — hiding your true identity.
I'm such a fake! People seem to think that I'm this warrior of cancer! If they only knew how much it took out of me to get up every morning and just plain move. Incognito? That's my middle name. Whenever life becomes a little too much, I run as fast as I can inside of myself bringing out that hidden identity. An identity that conceals my true emotions.
That's just what I did upon arriving home from my second chemo. There is no way to escape the awful symptoms nor is there a way to avoid them. One has to deal with them. I turned off my phone, didn't go anywhere and basically wallowed in the side effects, avoiding everyone. Sooner or later, they will cease and I will feel good once again.
A text here, messenger there. Yes, I am fine, just resting. All lies, as I struggled with getting through the day. Even Emily made a remark in regards to my energy level. Yes, one becomes weaker with each treatment. I want to stay in bed and sleep.
The problem is that too much of it can be bad for one's mentality. At least, it is for me. I can lay around for only so much before my mind goes weary with depression. I need to get up, wash up, get dressed and do something. Anything, but wistfulness and daydreaming. We all know where my mind goes to when I think too much.
So this morning, with every ounce of strength I got up and took a shower, making every effort to get on with the day. Today would not be a day of laying around, feeling sick. Today would be a day of accomplishment. A sense of purpose engulfed me as my mind fought the desire of being another victim to cancer. The world awaits and it's time I rejoined it.
Have a blessed day everyone.
Incognito:
When you want to do something and not be recognized, go incognito — hiding your true identity.
I'm such a fake! People seem to think that I'm this warrior of cancer! If they only knew how much it took out of me to get up every morning and just plain move. Incognito? That's my middle name. Whenever life becomes a little too much, I run as fast as I can inside of myself bringing out that hidden identity. An identity that conceals my true emotions.
That's just what I did upon arriving home from my second chemo. There is no way to escape the awful symptoms nor is there a way to avoid them. One has to deal with them. I turned off my phone, didn't go anywhere and basically wallowed in the side effects, avoiding everyone. Sooner or later, they will cease and I will feel good once again.
A text here, messenger there. Yes, I am fine, just resting. All lies, as I struggled with getting through the day. Even Emily made a remark in regards to my energy level. Yes, one becomes weaker with each treatment. I want to stay in bed and sleep.
The problem is that too much of it can be bad for one's mentality. At least, it is for me. I can lay around for only so much before my mind goes weary with depression. I need to get up, wash up, get dressed and do something. Anything, but wistfulness and daydreaming. We all know where my mind goes to when I think too much.
So this morning, with every ounce of strength I got up and took a shower, making every effort to get on with the day. Today would not be a day of laying around, feeling sick. Today would be a day of accomplishment. A sense of purpose engulfed me as my mind fought the desire of being another victim to cancer. The world awaits and it's time I rejoined it.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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