Day 24

Hello everyone. The story below I wrote a few days ago, but decided not to post, because I felt it might be taken as another negative entry made by me. There have been too many made already.

Having had some time to think things over, I've decided that it would go against everything I believe in when I began this blog.
1.I've always wanted to be honest regarding  my emotions
2.This journey is about my growth, my experience and not about entertaining everyone else.
3. There is a reason, a highlight to all of this buildup

So bear with me folks, I'm going through some things.

"You know, things happen. Mistakes happen, but it's time to pick yourself up. You have another event."

Shawn Johnson's Coach Chow.

 In my journey, there were times where I struggled to the point of wanting to give up. I moaned. I groaned. I complained. Yet, God reminds me, each and every time, to get back up. I could have a horrible morning and I'll open up scripture or a devotional only to find an encouraging word inside made just for that occasion.

 

On the kitchen table lie chocolate covered Easter eggs, staring up at me everytime I walk in the room. Yet, I resist. I have given up so much over the years in the hope of losing some of my weight. Not much, just some. It is a disappointment to me when I get on the scale. I just don't drop pounds like some people. Last ten days I lost 4 pounds and absolutely nothing this week. I want  to cry. What was all that misery for?

It is the same at work. I strive to a higher level of achievement and truly care how I do my job by being a team player and working hard. In the process, I am the one who ends up getting shortchanged by giving up prized vacation dates, or coming in as a replacement for someone else. During those times, I'll end up working with no computers, short staffed or inadequate tools to do my job.  everyone knows how unhappy I am at work.

 

 Why? Why do I continue bothering to do that to myself fully knowing it will be a horrible time of it? Why does my hand automatically rise up to volunteer when I know I will regret later? Why can't I say no? Why do I take on more than I can  chew?

 

All my misery these past few weeks have been my doing. I wish I could turn off my caring button, but I can't, because of who I am in Christ. Even now, as I write here frustrated and declaring to take a vacation day today, I know I won't. I know my duty and my responsibilities. I can feel the Holy Spirit inside of me saying: Get up! You have another event.

 

Have a Blessed day everyone.