Mourning Of You

    I've been mourning the passing of a relationship . A relationship that I never thought would end , yet , here I am feeling the loss . What am I mourning ? I'm mourning what was ; what could have been ; what never will be again .
   It hurts when you have to let go of something or someone . Letting go doesn't mean you are angry and will never speak to that person again . It just means accepting what the relationship has become . It means forgiveness . It means learning to love them all over again .
   I have no idea what the future holds regarding " this " but I do know that whatever comes out of this will be good for the both of us  . Maybe , it will make our relationship stronger , better and richer . I don't want to go back to what was : I want the new version of what will be  .
   This saddens me tremendously . It has occupied my mind since last weekend . The hurt is huge and the pain very raw . There may not be a future with this person . There may not be a better relationship . They may not be ready for it .
    Though now . . . .. . .still trying to understand the why . . . . . the how . . . . the lie .