Have You Ever?

                                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


God is never so far off as even to be near--
He is within: Our spirit is the home he holds most dear.
To think of him as by our side is almost as untrue
As to remove his throne beyond the starry blue.

--F. W. Faber.

Have you ever awakened in such a state that you weren't aware of your surroundings? You see, I was dreaming and it wasn't a pleasant dream. I was dreaming that I was at work and I just decided to go out for a walk or something in the middle of the workday. I'm gone like hours and hours, wandering around. Suddenly, a panic engulfs me when I realized that I just walked out of work without telling anyone. How in the world am I going to explain this?

This is the state I awakened to this morning. Confusion. Panic. Stress. What's happening? Where am I? What have I done? It takes a while to become aware of my surroundings and realize that it all has been a dream. Not a reality, but a dream. 

For the past week, I have awakened with a headache. This is most unusual for me. There is some pattern here, though. Each morning I have awakened in a state of whether being late or not aware of where I am due to a dream. Am I stressed without being aware of it? Is there a worry deep inside of me that my subconscious is trying to hide? Something is causing my stress. Obviously, I need to unwind.  

All of this brings me to the subject of coffee. Now, I used to be a heavy coffee drinker and I mean heavy. That was basically my beverage for the day. My mom drank a lot of coffee, my older brother and coffee was constantly brewing in our household. I grew up around coffee. Since my first cancer back in 2007, I have cleaned up my act, choosing a  healthier lifestyle.

 Nowadays, I have coffee in the morning and sometimes one cup in the evening. This cup is pretty large, about two cups can fit in it. I've always wanted to quit drinking coffee permanently, but whenever I'd try, the headaches would prove too much for me. Since I have these headaches every time I awaken in the morning, maybe it's time to give it up entirely. It's definitely worth a try. 

Otherwise, the morning is cloudy and overcast, not exactly inviting. They're predicting rain, a good day to stay in, but we can't. We have work! Right now, I have about 1 1/2 hours before I have to go in, so I'm enjoying a lovely cup of mint tea. So delicious!

Have a Blessed day everyone.