Why I Dislike Funerals

My parents were very sociable people. They entertained constantly and were invited to many functions, sometimes even two in one day. My childhood memories involved a constant flow of people whose names I cannot remember coming through our lives.

We would tag along with our parents to all the functions. It didn't matter if there were no other children for us to play around with, we were expected to sit on the couch, hands folded, and participating. I think that's why my older brother and I have become homebodies having a deep desire for solitude.

Funerals were something that we went to quite a lot. We were not afraid of them, or at least not I, but they were all the same. Everyone was dressed in black. People would in single file motion move past the coffin, pay their respects to both the deceased and the family, murmuring how sorry they were for their loss. There would be a long burial mass full of ceremony. After the burial, everyone would show up at a hall for a luncheon courtesy of the grieving family.

So what did I dislike so much about all that?

First, funerals have changed drastically since my childhood. They have become more of a celebratory event of a person's life here on Earth. The style of funerals has also changed personalizing the deceased's characteristics and they're being held in locations outside of the funeral parlor.

Yet, when I was a young child growing up that wasn't the case. One of the most unpleasant acts that I dislike so much were the remarks people made standing by the open casket.

Doesn't he/she look good?

They really did a good job on them.

I was totally baffled by these remarks. They did not look good. In  fact, some of them were barely recognizable, because of the illness that took their life.

All these years, that has stayed with me. I  was led to believe then that the funerals were for the deceased. The grandeur the funeral, the more blessed the individual. I know differently now. Funerals are for the grieving family.

My children know that I really don't care what they decide on when I pass away. They don't even have to hold one. It's all up to them. I only ask one thing of them, I ask that there is no viewing of my body.

I have realized over the years that people need other people when they're grieving. It is a form of respect to come to the funeral of a colleague, church member, relative or neighbor. So my dislike really stemmed from not understanding as a small child the need for closure. I honestly believe that children should not be present at a funeral unless it is a very close family member.

I never took my children when they were small, especially if the deceased wasn't a family member. It can be a very scary experience and I believe that's why I had this dislike of them as an adult.

But. . . . who am I to tell a parent what they should do with their own children?

Have a Blessed day everyone.