Hello 2018

                                                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


We thank thee, O Father, for all that is bright--
The gleam of the day and the stars of the night,
The flowers of our youth and the fruits of our prime,
And the blessings that march down the pathway of time.

--Will Carleton.

Hello everyone! Today is the first day of 2018. Are you as excited as I am? I hope so. A new year signifies a beginning, a clean slate to start again. Whatever happened in 2017 is already the past. That could be both happiness and sadness depending on how well our year went. 

I am starting 2018 with absolutely no resolutions either personal or not. I'm not even fasting like I normally do. This year I'm just going to wing it. Let God take the reins completely and let Him take me wherever He wants me to be. 

 God has blessed me in so many ways. I cannot imagine my life without Him in it. For 2018 my wish for all of you is that you allow Him in your heart.

Happy New Year everyone and have a blessed day. 

Making Crepes

                                                                        Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                         everyday is a journey.


One family, we dwell in Him;
One church above, beneath;
Though now divided by the stream,--
The narrow stream of death.
One army of the living God,
To His command we bow:
Part of His host has crossed the flood,
And part is crossing now.
C. WESLEY.

I napped today, actually fell asleep on the couch while watching a video. You know how you wake up all of a sudden, sitting up immediately as if you've done something wrong? First thought: What time is it? Second thought: Am I supposed to be somewhere? Third thought: Man, that felt good!

I gave up fighting my body when it comes to naps. Ever since my cancer diagnosis, I've become very aware of what my body is telling me. If it wants a nap, it gets a nap. So I got up, hair all messed up, feeling a little bit cold. It was so cold outside, even with the sun, that I could feel the drafts. Emily messaged me how cold it was at the store with the doors being constantly opened and closed. Winter weather is here. 

I wanted to make crepes today with a ricotta filling. I don't normally make crepes in colder weather. I reserve it for the Summer, usually making a fruit filling and topped with whip cream. Nice and tasty for those hot days when we don't want to use the stove. What changed my mind? The video I was watching before I fell asleep included someone making crepes. I thought, why not?

You see, my being off all this time for the Holidays made me realize a few things. One, we spend quite a bit of time in the kitchen. We prepare the meal, we eat the meal and we clean up after the meal. Oh, let's not forget shopping for the meal. Two, we clean all the time, because we are home all the time. I hate cleaning. Three, in fact, we had a lot of more. More laundry, more of a mess, more togetherness, more time, just plain more of everything.

I had a flashback of years past when my children were little and making dinner on a daily basis was more of a dilemma. What should we have for dinner today? That was a constant question back then. It also became one these past few weeks. So we had crepes with ricotta filling. Now what should we eat tomorrow? Oh, Lord!

Have a blessed day everyone.

Let It Snow

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


So it's been snowing lightly for the last two days. I think God gave me some of this snow to enjoy for my last weekend off from work. I am so grateful. It's very pretty and I'm starting to see children playing in it. It is cold here. We haven't seen temps of 7 or 8 in years. We have had pretty mild Winters these past few years. I'm so glad to see a real Winter once again, even if it is here for a few days. 

As I was going through some paperwork this afternoon, I came across this lovely poem called Let it Snow. Very appropriate, don't you think? I hope you enjoy. So let's go make a snowman!

Let It Snow
From: The Standard Book Of British And American Verse

Snow in the sky,
Earth turning white -
A tree like a ghost
In the gathering night;
Low clouds above.
White world below-
Barn roofs and houses 
Covered with snow .
Deep in his burrow
The 'possum is huddled,
Far in the bushes
Snowbirds are cuddled,
The creek in the morning
Coldly will gleam,
But I've got a fire, 
A hook and a dream. 

HAve a blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
Thank you Jesus for the snow!

Simply One Day At A Time

                                                         Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                         everyday is a journey



Up, up, my soul, the long-spent time redeeming;
Sow thou the seeds of better deeds and thought;
Light other lamps while yet thy lamp is beaming--
The time is short.

Think of the good thou might'st have done when brightly
The suns to thee life's choicest season brought;
Hours lost to God in pleasure passing lightly--
The time is short.

If thou hast friends, give them thy best endeavor,
Thy warmest impulse, and thy purest thought,
Keeping in mind and words and action ever--
The time is short.

--Elizabeth Prentiss.

Taking daily vitamins, isn't something we would have done years ago. We believed that eating vegetables and fruit every single day would have been enough, but it isn't. The amount we would have needed ingested daily a lot more than we think. None of us are really getting enough within our meals.

So everyday we take vitamins for nails, hair and skin. Also, vitamin C, immune system, bones and joints, turmeric, plus a daily supplement from A to Z for adults. 

Now there are people out there who may think that this is a little excessive, but I disagree. My goal is to live as healthy as possible for the life I was given. I'm all into preventive care, all because of my cancer journey. I want to be in remission for as long as possible. There is nothing wrong with any of it.

Just like the poem above says, time is short. I want to enjoy every single moment of it. Since taking these vitamins, I do see a difference in my arthritis pain. Don't get me wrong, it's not gone nor will it ever be gone, but I can maintain it better. I still battle fatigue on certain days, but that could be more from lack of sun and the Season we are in. Also, my lack of caffeine.

I have to realize that my body will never be what it was years ago. I did go through four cancer re-occurrences and that took a huge amount out of me. I might not be what I used to be physically, but I'm a lot healthier since then. So we take life one day at a time, not missing any of our vitamins. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for having done my Christmas shopping early and now don;t have to battle the traffic.

Baby, It's Cold Outside.

                                                         

                                                                        everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                        everyday is a journey.




.The freedom from all wilful sin,
The Christian's daily task,--
Oh these are graces far below
What longing love would ask!
Dole not thy duties out to God.
F. W. FABER.

Baby, it's cold out there! Now this is Winter! Too bad there is no snow on the horizon anytime soon. Then it would be a treat. Funny thing, cold weather brings us inside where it's warm and snug. One of my neighbors, a retired couple, go out everyday several times a day. Ever since the cold snap, their car cannot start and they look to the rest of the neighbors for a jump. You would think it would keep them inside? Heck no, they're out there right now getting a jump. 

For some people, life just goes on no matter how bumpy the ride. They don't allow anything to get them down, they just keep moving on, shoving aside whatever gets in their way. You have to admire people like that. 

I am pretty happy with myself. During this entire time I've been off, I've done exactly what I set out to do. . . finish old projects. Remember, I'm notorious for taking on way too much and that involves too large of projects. I'm clearing off the cobwebs in more ways than one and my bedroom has been looking pretty darn good. No cluttered mess anywhere. Really happy about that!

Emily is home today, all bundled up like an Eskimo, always cold. A pot of a hearty soup on the stove and tea kettle whistling occasionally. We're both snuggled in our rooms, each doing her own thing, enjoying the quiet of a cold day. There is nothing moving around out there. No children playing on their Holiday vacation in the snow. There isn't enough snow to make a snowman. If these Winters keep being so uneventful, children won't know what it is like to build a snowman or a fort like my kids did when they were young.  

So I hope that every single one of you is staying warm with a cup of hot chocolate and catching up on your old projects or movies. 

HAVE a blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge;
I'm grateful for a hot bowl of soup on a cold day.

The Shame Of It All

                                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


I will not doubt, though all my ships at sea
Come drifting home with broken masts and sails;
I shall believe the Hand which never fails
From seeming evil worketh good for me;
And though I weep because those sails are battered,
Still will I cry, while my best hopes lie shattered,
"I trust in Thee."

--Ella Wheeler Wilcox.

Our hidden shame. We all have hidden shame that's locked away from everyone's view. We peek in it's hiding space from time to time just to make sure it hasn't gotten out. That would be horrible. We don't ever want other people to know about it. No, not our hidden shame.

You know, many years ago, I ran into a good friend at Church. Her name was Laura and along with her husband, they both led this life transforming recovery group. Both of them had these riveting testimonials where unabashedly they shared their past with all who were willing to listen. And they cited everything! Everything!

I admired both of them to put themselves out there for others to perhaps judge them, ridicule them, shame them. How bold of them. I'm so envious of their bravery, I asked Laura once how she could be so brave. Why not, Lottie? That's not who I am now. That's who I was before Jesus forgave me.

Laura passed away a couple of years ago, only a day apart from Linda. They went to Heaven together. I think back to that conversation many times wishing I could be as open about my past as she was about hers. I cannot tell you how many times I've whispered my past shame in confession to the Almighty. There's still more I haven't spoken to Him about because of that shame label. 

Women like Linda and Laura are what we call Mentoring Women. We need them to teach us, show us and love on us as we go through the fire of becoming a woman of God. We can learn so much from them if only we are willing to listen. I often think of them both and look forward to seeing these Godly women once again in Heaven. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am thankful for the forgiveness and grace given to me. 

A Finished Piece

                                                  Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.





"I'm not where I need to be,
but thank God I'm not where I used to be.
I'm OK, and I'm on my way!"

joyce meyer

So I finally finished that huge afghan for a friend's mother. For the last two or three years, I've been making hats, scarves and afghans during this Season as a way to increase my yarn donations. I'd make these items and people would pay me in yarn, the amount depending on what the item was.

 I'm really happy with how this afghan turned out. It's one of my favorite fundraiser projects, but sadly, I think this will be my last. 

These projects take so much out of me. I don't spend enough time making items for charity and that's what my Ministry is all about. . . . charitable causes, not personal projects for other people. 

I can disguise it by saying I'm working for yarn, but it's still a duck no matter how I dress it. I shouldn't have to work on these types of projects just to make sure the yarn coffers are full. 

It's lovely and I'm glad for my last finished piece to look so nice. I hope her mom will like it.

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I AM GRATEFUL to have a warm place to live when it's freezing outside. 

The Burrow

                                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                        everyday is a journey.


Yet in opinions look not always back;

Your wake is nothing, mind the coming track;

Leave what you've done for what you have to do;

Don't be "consistent," but be simply true.

--Oliver Wendell Holmes.

I've been waiting for that first snowfall of the Season. Waiting patiently. There is something so peaceful and serene about watching the snow enfold everything in sight. The trees, the shrubbery and rooftops look like a Norman Rockwell scene. A perfect, clean and picturesque painting of a scene we all want to live in. Everything safely burrowed deep in their abode. This is nature. This is life.

It finally did fall the other weekend, but it just covered the ground and not the heavy snowfall I was looking for. You know what I want? I want a real downfall like we used to have years ago. I miss that, don't you? 

Here I am off from work, longing for a blizzard of sorts. This way I can burrow deep inside my woman cave away from the rest of the world. And what happens? Absolutely nothing. With my luck, I will go back to work and that's when the bad weather will come. 

The burrow in my own mind is a tiny little cabin. There is a wood burning stove with a pot of soup simmering on top of it. I'm sitting in my armchair, crocheting a baby blanket with a cup of tea on the side table. Outside the snow is falling heavily and the world looks white. It's a still and silent world as every creature lays burrowed deep in their own nest. 

Do you have your own burrow that you keep hidden in your dreams? What does it look like? Whatever it may be or look like, don't ever let go of it. Keep it and cherish it in your heart. Treat it like a promise of what is to come. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
 I am thankful for the adult coloring book my friend Cindy introduced me to since they are so relaxing. 

Christmas Eve

                                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                            everyday is a journey.



O worship the King,
 all glorious above,
O gratefully sing his power and his love;
Our Shield and Defender, 
the ancient of days,
Pavilioned in splendor,
 and girded with praise.

Thy bountiful care what tongue can recite?
It breathes in the air,
 it shines in the light;
It streams from the hills,
 it descends to the plain,
And sweetly distills in the dew and the rain.

--Robert Grant.

It's snowing! It began early this morning, a light dusting of a snow covering everything. Not exactly the heavy blizzard type I wanted, but I'll take this. Emily thinks I'm ungrateful and she's right. I never thought I would say this, but I miss the snowfalls of the past. I miss seeing the branches of trees and shrubbery heavily laden with snow.

As we listened to today's sermon at Church, I couldn't help, but feel emotional. I don't care how busy you have been all month, when it comes to Christmas, you will feel. No other Holiday stirs so much emotion as this one. There is something so real and intimate, almost a longing, about a little baby lying in the manger. We want to feel like we're loved. We want to be around people who care about us. We want a family. For many people out there, this must be the loneliest Holiday ever. 

I never thought about feelings or people during this time when I was young. Christmas time meant traditions and rituals in my family. Take Christmas Eve, for instance. We have this old wives tale or tradition in Poland where we believe how our Eve goes, that's how our year would go. We would wake up early on purpose so we would be on time all year long. We would wash our faces with coins mixed in with our water so it would be a good financial year. Under every plate for dinner, there would be a quarter for luck. There were these wafers we would share with our visitors, breaking off a piece as we wished them good tidings for the year. 

Now, I could blame all this selfishness I experienced as a youngster on my not having a relationship with Christ, but I think it's something more than that. I think that we as young people think we have the rest of our lives for everything and everyone. Right now, it's all about me. Let's be honest, that's exactly how we think when we are young. We all have done that. What we don't realize is how fast life goes. It's literally a blink. Suddenly, we're here. 

Suddenly, it's Christmas twenty years later and we're sitting here alone. Ashamed. Angry. Lonely. Unloved. How did we get here? We're on the outside watching the person we wish we could be living, celebrating Christmas with their families. How do we get on the inside? We extend our hand in peace and walk inside. You see that baby lying in the manger offers hope. He's extending His hand in peace. So take it and live.

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge;
I am so grateful that our Lord gave me that snow I've been looking for as a Christmas present. 

Twas' The Weekend Before Christmas

                                                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Oh for a closer walk with God,
A calm and heavenly frame;
A light to shine upon the road
That leads me to the Lamb!
W. COWPER.


The traffic was horrendous. What should have been a mere fifteen minute drive to work, took a little over thirty. Every light turned red right before us, but it wasn't until we passed an accident that Emily spoke up. "Mom, don't worry about the stores today. It's just not worth it to be in all of this. This is too crazy."

She had plans on making her famous homemade hot chocolate mix for her co-workers. My job was to pick up all the ingredients after dropping her off at work. That was the plan until we drove in all of this mess. 

Twas' the weekend before Christmas, the last couple of days and the world went crazy with shopping. Even on social media I've barely seen a soul. No one was home nor on their Facebook. When would enough be enough?

I don't know about all of you, but our Holidays have gotten simpler. When the children were small, having around twenty or thirty people over for dinner was average. The Christmas tree could barely hold all the presents under it. A ham and a turkey lay in splendor on the dining room table. Maybe even a fish. There was enough food for a week of leftovers. 

Back then it was all about the meal and the presents. Nowadays, it's all about Jesus and fellowship with our loved ones. At least, in our house. It's funny, because once we were those people out there shopping like mad and getting up early cooking all these meals. We were them. . . . once. I'm also getting older. Am I becoming wiser? Now, finally after all these stupid past mistakes I've learned what really matters? I hope so. I don't need to be in all of that mess. I'm going home. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
 I am grateful for my wise grown children.

A Few Links/Websites

                                                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

So he died by his faith. 
That is fine--
More than the most of us do.
But stay. 
Can you add to that line
That he lived for it too?

It is easy to die. 
Men have died
For a wish or a whim--
From bravado or passion or pride.
Was it hard for him?

But to live: 
every day to live out
All the truth that he dreamt,
While his friends met his conduct with doubt,
And the world with contempt.

Was it thus that he plodded ahead,
Never turning aside?
Then we'll talk of the life that he led.
Never mind how he died.

--Ernest Crosby.

I thought I would post a few links/websites for cancer patients or family members of cancer patients. People are always asking me where to go or what they should do. Hopefully some of these links/websites will help someone. If you know of someone going through cancer, please feel free in sharing these links/websites with them.

American Cancer Society
800.ACS.2345
cancer.org

American College Of Obstetricians And Gynecologists
202.863.2518
acog.org
resources@acog.org

CancerCare
800.813.HOPE
cancercare.org
info@cancercare.org

Gilda Radner Familial Ovarian Cancer Registry
800.OVARIAN
716.845.4503
ovariancancer.com
gradner@roswellpark.orh

Foundation For Women's Cancer
312.578.1439
foundationforwomenscancer.org
info@foundationforwomenscancer.org

Lynne Cohen Foundation For Ovarian Cancer Research
877.682.7911
877.OVARY.11
lynnecohenfoundation.org
info@lcfocr.org

Cancer Support Community
917.305.1200
cancersupportcommunity.org

Centers For Disease Control And Prevention
800.CDC.INFO
cdc.gov/cancer
cancerinfo@cdc.gov

Eyes On The Prize.org Support For Gynecologic Cancer
eyesontheprize.org
info@eyesontheprize.org

Force:Facing Our Risk Of Cancer Empowered
866.288.RISK
facingourrisk.org
info@facingourrisk.org

National Cancer Institute For Cancer Survivorship
301.650.9127
canceradvocacy.org
info@canceradvocacy.org

National Ovarian Cancer Coalition
888.OVARIAN
ovarian.org
nocc@ovarian.org

Again, I hope this helps someone out there become aware of these agencies in their time of need. Have a Blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am so grateful for all the people in my life who have helped me during my treatments.

The Missing Link

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Look in my face; 
my name is Might-have-been;
I am also called No-more, 
Too-late, Farewell;
Unto thine ear I hold the dead sea-shell
Cast up thy Life's foam-fretted feet between;
Unto thine eyes the glass where that is seen
Which had Life's form and Love's,
 but by my spellIs now a shaken shadow intolerable,
Of ultimate things unuttered the frail screen.

--Dante Gabriel Rossetti.

I turned on the hot water, wanting to finish washing the dishes from supper only to find freezing cold water. Hmm, the water heater broke down? Checking my phone, I found a message from my landlord confirming that very fact. It's really not a big thing. It could be so much worse.

The day has been pretty good so far. I got up very, very early like a woman on a mission. First, an oil change. Secondly, a Ministry delivery. Thirdly, post office. Fourth, a visit by mom's. Fifth, a well deserved nap. 

It feels good when all the chores and errands have been done. Overall, things have been quite well, except for one thing. Yup, you guessed it. SNOW. I know there are people jumping for joy for all the mild Winters we have been having, but I need all my Seasons to be real Seasons. It doesn't feel right and that means I don't feel right. 

It looks like another mild Winter ahead of us. If it ends up snowing heavily, I'll be at work, not being able to fully enjoy it. You could tell that I'm feeling a little blue about it. Well, the water heater is on! I wish I could turn on some snow!

Have a blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for the delicious strawberries my mom gave me. 

A Splitting Headache

                                                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                             everyday is a journey


Take my life, and let it be
Consecrated, Lord, to Thee.
Take my moments and my days;
Let them flow in ceaseless praise.
F. R. HAVERGAL.


I cheated the other day. It wasn't a spur of the moment cheating, but a planned one. I've written about my niece and her family visiting our humble abode and it was after they left, that my cheating began. I had a cup of coffee after almost six weeks of giving it up. I decided to treat myself to just a single cup. I had no intention of going back to drinking coffee full time and I had not done so. 

I didn't think there was anything wrong with having an occasional cup like at family events once in a while. Well, it seems I was definitely wrong. I didn't even finish half my cup and a massive headache ensued. My temple throbbed and I needed to take some pain reliever for it. 

Besides the headache, it wasn't even as delicious as I imagined it to be. It was so-so and I felt a little disappointed. I did learn a lesson here. When we are in avoidance of something for whatever reason, we seem to idolize how great it was in the past when we were consuming it. In reality, it was mediocre at best. Our mind likes to play games with us in more ways than we realize. 

So I'm not missing much without coffee. Will I have another cup? Probably at some point, but I won't go back to it. I can see that the coffee had quite an effect on my body. One, I do not wish to repeat.

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for that delicious piece of chocolate cake. 

The Advent

                                                                        Everyday is a brand new day, 
                                                                          everyday is a journey.


Whatever God does is well!
In patience let us wait;
He doth Himself our burdens bear,
He doth for us take care,
And He, our God, knows all our weary days.
Come, give Him praise.
B. SCHMOLCK


I can remember as a young girl going to Church and watching the priest light the Advent candles during the Christmas Season. That was my childhood and nowadays I rarely see the practice exercised. Even back then, I had no idea why we did that or what exactly was Advent. Recently, I heard a woman speaker (Joan Kiley) explain the Advent wreath during a woman's breakfast at my Church. 

So what is Advent? It is the coming or the arrival and in this case, the arrival of Jesus. According to Joan, we celebrate what God has already done, what God will do and what God is doing. The wreath is made of a circle of evergreen branches laid flat to symbolize eternal life. The four candles stand in the circle and each one represents one of the four Sundays of Advent.  In the center of the wreath is a fifth candle called the  Christ candle that is lit on Christmas day. 

Now I wish I had followed this lovely tradition of lighting the Advent candles with my children. What a wonderful way of teaching them about Jesus arrival. As I age, I look to the simpler things in life. I look for meaning into all I do. Christmas time has become more of a spiritual matter to me, no longer a materialistic one. 

I want to encourage you to begin holiday traditions with your family, ones that they will continue on long after you've gone. There are so many statistics out about the deterioration of the family. Social media has come between them, placing a divider where conversation and family time used to be. Don't let that happen your family. Start with this one. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S. 
The Gratitude Challenge:
Today I am grateful for a good cup of tea with honey. 

Your Purpose

                                             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



I wrestle not with rage
While fury's flame doth burn;
It is vain to stop the stream
Until the tide doth turn.

But when the flame is out
And ebbing wrath doth endI
 turn a late enraged foe
Into a quiet friend.

--Robert Southwell.

If money wasn't an issue; if materialism didn't exist; if education didn't matter. What would you love to do? What would you be doing just for the pure pleasure or hobby of it?

You can't even fathom something like it or some place, but there is such an existence waiting for us. We know it by another name- Heaven. I sometimes think that only in Heaven will I be able to live out my life the way I've always wanted to. The way that I was meant to.

We all have a purpose and I cannot wait to fulfill mine full time when I retire. This work business is interfering with what I consider my life's passion. . . . my Ministry and my writing. I could be doing so much more. So much, much more.

Ever since my cancer diagnosis almost eleven years ago, my main focus has shifted in serving my community and the people around me. Even though my Ministry is a crocheting one, I do volunteer and donate to many other avenues that have nothing to do with the craft. Charitable work is everywhere and everyone can do it. 

I look to these next five years in anticipation of what is to come. I may be getting older, becoming a senior citizen, but to me it spells freedom to engage my talents elsewhere in serving. I want to help. I want to leave a mark that lasts a lifetime. Life is not about money or position or power. It is about helping one another and the satisfaction in giving to those in need. I want to make a difference to someone. Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. So live it.

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for the stillness and quiet of first light. 

Some Visitors Stopped By

                                                           Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Well may Thy happy children cease
From restless wishes, prone to sin,
And, in Thy own exceeding peace,
Yield to Thy daily discipline.
A. L. WARING.


Today some visitors stopped by that I haven't seen for quite a while, my niece and her family. It felt just like old times as we sat around chatting away while enjoying some chocolate cake. Emily and I haven't really been entertaining much since moving here. It felt good to do so on this Sabbath day.

When we lived in Elmwood Park, getting together was a regular thing for us. I would often stop by Kathy's house, share a cup of coffee or a glass of wine over a stimulating conversation. I loved having discussions with Kathy, because they didn't involve idle chitchat about the weather. Way in the past, we often visited lectures in the evening together at the local college. 

They moved away first and the year that followed was pretty difficult for me. I missed our time together. I missed our hot tub moments where we enjoyed her homemade wine. I missed having a conversation with someone who actually understood why I do what I do. One of my favorites sayings of hers happens to be This is Lottie. This is who she is. I loved that, because she accepted me and wanted me to accept myself just the way I am. 

This is Lottie. She is overweight. She has cancer. This is how she looks and how she interacts with others. This is where she lives. Love yourself. Accept yourself. Be proud of yourself. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
 I am grateful for great conversations with great friends. 

O Christmas Tree

                                                             

                                                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                             everyday is a journey. 


 

O Sovereign Love, to Thee I cry!
Give me Thyself, or else I die!
Save me from death; from hell set free!
Death, hell, are but the want of Thee.
Quickened by Thy imparted flame,
Saved when possessed of Thee, I am:
My life, my only heaven Thou art;
O might I feel Thee in my heart!
C. WESLEY.

So many people have asked me if I finally bought my tree. Yes, I did! I was able to find an optic Christmas tree that wasn't too big nor too small.

At first, I was looking for a tree that was at least 3 feet tall, but not any larger. That proved to be difficult since I did find many small trees, but none with lights.

Then I visited good ole Walmart and bam! It's smaller than what I wanted, but then I realized that eventually it could fit my Tiny House or RV or any small dwelling. 

I thought for sure that Emily would not care for it due to it's size. She thinks my tiny living is crazy. She wants quite the opposite for herself. Well, that's fine, she's young. 

Instead, she loved it! She loved all the colored lights flashing on and off randomly. The best part? Diamond hasn't even sniffed it! She shows no interest at all in it.

So here's our tiny Christmas tree, shining brightly for our Lord. Merry Christmas everyone. Happy birthday Jesus.

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am so grateful for the apples I bought recently. There's nothing more crispy and delicious in the Fall than an apple!

The No#1 Question

                                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



The wind that blows can never kill
The tree God plants;
It bloweth east; it bloweth west;
The tender leaves have little rest,
But any wind that blows is best.
The tree God plants
Strikes deeper root, grows higher still,
Spreads wider boughs, for God's good-will
Meets all its wants.
LILLIE E. BARR.

There is a question that I get asked almost everywhere I go, preferably by other women. It doesn't matter how old they are or what position they hold, even in the medical field. How did you know you had ovarian cancer? How did you know? 

I'm not surprised. Ovarian cancer is known as the silent killer, undetected by the average pap smear. By the time one is diagnosed, there is a large tumor that is felt or found by chance via a ct. scan. Women are not comfortable speaking about such an intimate area anywhere around the pelvis. 

I felt my tumor, but I had no idea what it was. I just felt something. I wasn't concerned, thinking it was just some minor thing. Emily was graduating High School and I wanted to wait until she was done with all of her Senior year activities. It could wait. It ended up being a 7 lb. cancerous tumor. 

At my last GP visit, she asked me this famous question. We actually held a conversation on why women are afraid of speaking about this topic. I mean, everything is about breast cancer out there, why not ovarian or uterine?

 Honestly, I believe it's because of embarrassment. We as women go through so much with our bodies. We have urinary infections, yeast infections, cysts etc. We could go on and on with all the medical things we go through as women down below. It's embarrassing. We don't want to feel isolated from others, especially young women. They end up thinking that whatever they have involving "that area" no one else has. They might be considered unclean or even possibly slutty. So we end up keeping things to ourselves. 

Ladies, this is truly scary. If we as women don't speak up about our bodies, we could die. It's especially important if you have daughters to talk with them honestly and without shame about their body. Build a relationship with your little girl that at least she can come to you if something isn't right. This is so important. 

I know that sometimes I write about things that may make others cringe, but it's only for others to be aware. It is the same when it goes for treatment. I have many questions, but if I'm too embarrassed to ask them, how will I ever know what to do? How am I going to learn? How am I going to deal? 

This is my body. This is my cancer. This is what happens when I go through treatment and it may be very unpleasant to talk about, but it's truth. Maybe there is someone out there who is asking the same questions and they have no one to turn to. That is my hope here, that I can help someone as they begin their journey. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.


P.S. 
The Gratitude Challenge: 
I am so grateful to God in helping me stay on course with my giving up coffee from my diet.