Here it is, day 5 of 25. Lord, it's only been five days, yet it feels like forever. Somehow, I thought it would go a little faster. Everyday, I wake up around 3 a.m. and spend the next three hours trying to convince myself that all of this is worth it. I go kicking and screaming every single day for my radiation treatment.
Today was a little different. Today I sat at my desk and began to write. I watched as the world slowly woke up to another new day. I watched as the lights of my neighbors homes came on one by one, as they prepared to face their day. I watched the world go from the dark of the night to a crisp morning. And I wrote.
No matter how I might have felt or still am feeling about the last few months, God still blessed me. He had my best interests in mind. I acknowledge that truth. This certainly has been a hot and humid Summer, especially July. There is no way I would have been able to withstand this weather at work. Manufacturing is a hot place to work at. I was here at home, sequestered in my cool apartment.
Not only was I able to wear something other than pants or work related clothing, but I wore dresses. I wore flipflops all Summer long. I was able to mingle and attend many of the activities that I've always felt I missed out on while at work. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner with my friends. My car broke down several times, finally dying, but at least it happened while I was at home and didn't need one on an everyday basis.
No matter how I feel right at this moment, I'm grateful and understand why things had to happen this way. I'm still kicking and screaming all the way to my radiation appointment. I don't think that will ever change, but at least I go. There have been many times where I wanted to do the opposite.
Today, I saw a woman at radiation who was sent to the ER. Her blood pressure soared so high, even though she was on two medications for it. I am grateful for God showing me His Mercies, even though I definitely don't deserve it.
Have a blessed day everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment