everyday is a journey.
When we in darkness walk,
Nor feel the heavenly flame,
Then is the time to trust our God,
And rest upon His name.
A. M. TOPLADY
All this free time has really set my mind in reflection. That could be a good thing or a bad thing. Too much thinking is never good, especially if you're a person like me who likes to analyze everything. The devil loves it when I'm in that mood! And in that mood I find myself way too often.
I have spent way too much time these past weeks comparing myself to others. Or at least, my way of life to theirs. Look at their vehicle and then look at mine. See how far they have come in life compared to me? That sort of thing. Why do we do that? It's true what they say about idle hands and all.
It seems that whenever I'm in a trial, my mind wanders back to all the things I've done and have wished undone. I only see the bad and not the good in my life. All those mistakes that shouldn't have been made.
The more I reflect, the more I want to get into my car and drive far, far away. Is this a rut that I'm in? Is it a mid-life crisis? Or is it change that I'm seeking? What is that new purpose? I want the "newness" to happen now, this minute. I don't want to work at it, go through it or deal with it. I just want it. Isn't that how we all are?
Even now as I write, I know the easy way cannot happen. I need to experience all of it so I could appreciate what comes out from the trial into the light. It's just so difficult to be trusting in the unknown. We all want things now and we want to know everything now. We don't want to wait or be in the dark. Trusting and waiting on God is hard to do, but we must. We must keep moving forward no matter how badly our minds wander, like mine has done.
Oh, this mind of mine, stop wandering. Stop analyzing and just write!
Have a blessed day everyone.
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