A Peaceful Sunday

I didn't feel like doing much today , especially since it was the last day of my vacation . Tomorrow would come soon enough and with it all the responsibilities that I dreaded . 

The entire vacation was spent writing and crocheting , my two loves . The difference here is the fact it was done in a leisurely fashion . There were no phone calls to answer or places that I needed to go . Complete peace . It was one of the most rewarding , wonderful times of my life . I will always cherish it and the fond memories that were made .

When I got up this morning , the last thing I wanted to do is work . I mean , it was my last day , why not spend it bumming around in my pajamas . Even ordered out for dinner and that is a rare thing for us .

In this quiet , I was able to think about the many things that have occurred this year . It wasn't a good year , more difficult than I've experienced in a while . So I thought about it , all the hurts , the forgiving I needed to do and had such a hard time letting go . 

Mentally , I let it go .I said goodbye to all those who caused that hurt . I know it will be a long time before I am completely free of those memories , but I also know I'm on my way . 

In two and half weeks , I will be off once again . I'm looking terribly to that time . I hope it's even better than this one . Another opportunity to heal .

So yes , it's been a quiet peaceful Sunday . A real day of rest .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Looking From The Outside In

I've always had compassion for people who were introverts , castaways , the black sheep of the world . The ones that were always picked last in any given game , the ones that never get invited to all the " cool " parties . The awkward , shy ones that are looking from the outside in  , wanting to just belong . 

Why ? Because I've always been that type of person who never quite fit in with everyone else . I've always formed my own opinions regarding people and situations , rarely being influenced by others . 

This fact carries both the positive and negative result . Sometimes , I wish I had listened to the stern warnings from friends , but I feel we all have that natural desire to learn from  our own mistakes . Plus , we don't want to be told what to do . 

Now that I have aged ( wink ) , things like that are beginning to matter less and less . That deep desire I've always held in my heart  to wanting to belong to a group is fast departing . Why the sudden change of heart ?

Well , I've realized that some of these groups that my heart yearned for aren't so great to begin with . I mean , why would they be selective in the people they allowed in ? Didn't I fit their ideal for the kind of people they wanted to hang out with ? Am I not kind , intelligent , or a compassionate person ? I think I am very funny and I can bring a vast experience of life to the table . So what's the problem ?

A lot of groups are just plain cliques . I have another word for them . . . bullies . You may think it's too harsh of a word , but I totally disagree . If I have to fit a certain criteria , think exactly like you do and nod my head with everything you have to say , then you're a bully . 

The last thing I want to do is belong where opinions don't matter . I love diversity in every part of my life . I don't just eat one type of food nor do I listen to only type of music . I don't only hang out with Polish people , because I was born in Poland . Diversity is the spice of life . 

So you can keep your groups , I'll hang out with the castaways who actually have an opinion to voice  . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Happy Burnt Biscuits

This morning , I'm heading out for an early breakfast with my mom and nephew Luke . He just learned how to crochet and wants to join my ministry  to become the very first man ( that's how he phrased it ) in my group . When I told him we have men in our group ( the husbands of the ladies ) who crochet in secret because they are embarrassed , he called them " sissies " for not coming out . Gotta love this 12 year old who knows his mind . He also does a mean Elvis impersonation .

Today is Black Friday . Originally my plans were to do some light shopping , but then reconsidered since as usual , there is so much hype on materialism instead of what Christmas is really about . I can do my shopping another day . I rather go spend some time with this special young man . Memories can't be bought . 

That said , our very own Grandma Barb , came through again with a great story .  So while I'm crocheting with Luke , I hope you enjoy the following story about    love , family and good old fashioned consideration . 
Have a Blessed day everyone .



Burnt Biscuits
When I was a kid, my Grandma liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day. On that evening so long ago, she had placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my Granddad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed!

Yet all my Granddad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my Grandma and ask me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that ugly burned biscuit. He ate every bite of that thing... never made a face nor uttered a word about it!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my Grandma apologize to my Granddad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: "Honey, I love burned biscuits every now and then."

Later that night, I went to kiss Granddaddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Grandma put in a hard day of work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burned biscuit never hurt anyone!"

As I've grown older, I've thought about that many times. Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's faults, and choosing to celebrate each other's differences, is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today... that you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn't a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the basis of any relationship, be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship!

So, please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burned one will do just fine.

Feeling Content

I've been home this whole week on my usual vacay at this time of the year . It's been wonderful ! This most definitely will go down in history as the best Thanksgiving ever ! 

Leisurely 
                  Cozy 
                             Relaxing 
                                               Playful 
                                                              Stress-free

Just to name a few . Plus , I got so much done ! There are no threats of an appointment looming or a schedule to keep track of our time . We're doing whatever we want to do when we want . 

This Thanksgiving I am very thankful to our Lord for providing this rest in our peaceful home . 

I am Blessed .

I am grateful . 

I am truly content .

Have a Blessed day everyone and enjoy your Thanksgiving Dinner !

Second Time Around

I am a success ! I know I am good at what I do , yet I allow negativity to reside permanently that has been generated by others . Why do I listen to the banter of others ? Am I not enough ?

We allow situations and people to influence our state of being . Who cares what they think about me ? Do they live here ? Do they live my life ? Do they experience all that I feel ? The hurt ? The pain ? The tears ? Do they cry with happiness for me ? Do they know the love I feel ?

Then how can they know me . . . .

I say all this , because I am a people pleaser  and there are people who love to play with the likes of me . I want to be liked by all that I encounter . Their opinion matters to me more than it should . 

When we have become Christians , we want the new us to shine brilliantly for all to see . That is not always the case . There will always be people who just will not care much for the likes of us no matter  how much we may try to change their minds . 

In many ways , I am living life for the second time . My goal for this second term is to work on my relationships with the people in my life . It's been very difficult , because we have different levels of friendships with each person and some levels will never be reached to their full potential . Does that mean we don't even try ? 

Of course not , but we need to make sure our expectations are real for each relationship . This year especially , my relationships have suffered a great deal . Some have moved on , others ended not quite so nicely . The reason , I'm not exactly sure . Was I trying too hard ? Or not hard enough ? 

I believe it was because I fell away from achieving my goal . It seems that I have been going through  a midlife crisis of sorts this year where I didn't want to care anymore . My sister-in-law Pam , recently said to  me that the older we become , the more we seem to tell the truth . I believe she is right . 

I was tired of being the one who always made the concessions . The who always turned the cheek .The one who always said I'm sorry and yet , I never heard that word being said to me . 

So yes , I believe in working on relationships , but I also believe that each person has a compartment in my heart . Some may have a higher level compartment and some may be only on the ground floor , but my expectations are real of what that relationship really entails . 

Not everyone can be a truly faithful friend who I can trust every detail . Some of them can only be great work associates that enhance my abilities in the professional world . 

My negativity and my people pleasing ways are still a work in progress . I don't think we can ever be completely  free of not caring what others think of us , but  we can at least be semi-reformed . Aren't we all just a work in progress ?

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Fundraiser Monday

In the beginning of this year , I had a dream that I was entering our building's laundry room . Now , in reality , this room is quite large , because it is also where our storage units happen to be . 

As I entered this room , I noticed it was filled with boxes everywhere . Boxes stacked as high as they could be stacked . In my dream , I found myself running excitedly , opening each one . The boxes were filled with yarn of every color and every texture . 

When I awoke from this dream , I knew it was a sign  of what was to come . A sign , a validation that what we are doing with the Crocheting Ministry is the right thing . 

That same feeling stirred inside of me once again , when our very own Crystal , won Mother of the Year for volunteering in our Ministry . I still cry whenever thinking about that one . How awesome our God ! Just when I thought of quitting , because of so many setbacks that happened this year with my ministry . He has continually Blessed us over and over again . 

This is the perfect example of when things start to crumble and fall , all we have left is the foundation . We don't give up , we begin anew with an even stronger structure than before . 

I'm glad I didn't allow my hurt emotions to get the better of me  . I kept trucking along , doing what I do . Thank you , thank you everyone for continually supplying us with what we need to keep this Ministry running . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .

The Sentence

Whenever we experience setbacks , we need to remind ourselves of all our successes . It is so easy  to be swallowed up by our trials where we become lost in all the debris of failure . Why can't we remember all the achievements we have accomplished throughout the years ?

 Instead , the failures creep into our minds taking over and holding reign in our thoughts .Why do we give them so much power? It seems we love to wallow in our own misery , feeling guilty at experiencing happiness . 

For years , I have been told by some , that my cancer is the result of a life spent in sin . I must have been a very angry person and all that turned into cancer . Bad karma and such , too much negative thinking . 

Even though I never believed that to be true , I do remember my first months with cancer . All the pain , the suffering , the surgeries . . . . . all of it . I took it like a champ , because I felt I was doing penance for my past . I felt an absolution happening from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head . I knew I would emerge from this totally different .

I haven't been the same since . . . . for the better , or at least , I hope so  . 

From time to time , I can feel my old self creeping back and that scares me a bit . Then I remember all those failures and all the good disappears into an abyss . That's not to mean I was a terrible person , because I've always considered myself to be caring and a loving woman . 

I don't want to feel angry or jealous and sometimes these emotions manifest themselves out of nowhere . How do I keep the negativity  away ? How do I keep these unjust feelings away ? 

Constant vigilance to the study of God's Word . 

It is not easy emotionally to live in today's world . Situations arise that challenge us daily . I constantly have to remind myself of all the great things happening in my life and how easily they can be overshadowed by  the bad . 

So I no longer feel I'm being punished for my past , but the sentence in my life has become the constant battle of keeping Joy in my heart . I need to remind myself daily that I deserve to be happy and at peace with all I do .

 I am loved . I deserve to be loved . I demand love .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

The Saturday

Today begins my Thanksgiving vacation . Every year in February I reserve four weeks : 4th of July , Thanksgiving and the last two weeks of Christmas . These vacation weeks I look forward to all year . 

Usually during this time , I plan a " to do list " that is not a chore at all , but more of a pleasurable hobby . This time ,  I have been challenged to write a certain type of literature that has to be kept  a secret for now . How am I doing on my first day ? 

Well . . . .. . 

We both got up after 10:00 a.m. , not really intending to oversleep . By the time we got moving with some much needed errands , it was already early afternoon . Then laundry , some light cleaning , then a supper of potato latkes , a plate of homemade cookies for the neighbors and here we are the day ending quickly . 

That was my first day . 

Not quite how I intended it all to turn out . In my mind , I saw myself as very productive , whipping out story after story with a feverish frenzy . Instead , I spent it in the company of my daughter giggling and laughing the whole day . 

Has it been a waste ? Absolutely not ! Sometimes , we just need to unwind and spend it with our loved ones . Put that list away for today and make some memories .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Just Smile

Life is very hard , friends . Dealing with it can challenge the sturdiest of souls . 

Every Monday , we get up and face the oncoming week with as much dignity as we can muster under the circumstances . If we're lucky , we will have a pretty good week . Most of the time , that is not the case . 

Sometimes , we need to put aside all these feelings of exhaustion , frustration and disappointment . 

Sometimes , we just need to smile .

So what makes you smile ? The sun shining upon your upturned         face ? 

A funny antic of your precious pet ?

A hilarious joke from a very funny comedian ?

A child's giggle that cannot stop ?

Whatever it may be ,  reach deeply today and pull it out . Bask in it's glorious and infectious gesture . . . . .  and smile !

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

A Car , God And I

When my children were quite small , I practically lived inside my car , using it as a refuge from the world . Whenever  I needed a break , that's exactly where one would find me . . . . .sitting in the driveway reclining in the front seat . 

You could see Emily and Joey staring at me through the living room window , all confused to what I was doing . They would be knocking on the living room window , waving to me to come back inside . I think they thought I was leaving somewhere without them . 

My love affair with the sanctuary of my vehicle has continued well into the here and now . There have been many times after a difficult day at work , where I sat in front of my home listening to music rather than go in directly . 

There is something about that space where I feel God's Everlasting Presence . There are no interruptions of any kind . I am completely alone with my God . I tune in and sing along as I drive , feeling the tensions of the day slip away . 

Everyday on my way to work , the music comes on and the relaxation begins . I need it  or my day will not go well . 

If there is anything on my mind , my car is the place to dish it out with the Lord . I'm sure I look a sight to others driving alongside of me , talking to myself and sometimes very passionately . 

There hasn't been one single time that I have driven to my doctor appointment or chemo where my heart hasn't been touched in a particular way with a thought , or a song . Usually followed by a tear or two . 

Yes , my car is more than a vehicle to me . That's probably why I don't really care for carpooling . I mean , that might be awkward if witnessed by others . They might send for the men in white to take me away . 

Seriously , this has become my time with God where I gather all my thoughts and where I have all my daily conversations with my Father . I'm definitely not ready to give that up .  Where is your place ? Your sanctuary ? If you're not there yet , I hope you find one soon . We all need some sanity . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Above The Avenue

We have been under construction here at the avenue as yet another apartment has been totally remodeled . That leaves four more to go , ours included .

As the new tenant moved in ,  a young man in his thirties , we still haven't come up with a nickname for him . I want to call him " baldie  "since his hair is completely shaven , but Emily insists on us waiting for his personality to come shining through . 

The family above us will be leaving soon , so we are sure to be hearing lots of banging , drilling and hammering as that remodel gets under way. Yippeee, cannot wait for that.

If we were normal folk that work during the day , all this construction would not matter . It would be over when we came home in the evening . Unfortunately , for the next month or two we will have to deal with being uncomfortable . 

Besides all this remodeling elsewhere in the building , we each received a brand new front door and bathroom window . So as you can figure out by now , I have been up very early as the crew goes about working . I am tired , folks. I am really hoping that it's peaceful around here on the weekend .

In the Summer  and Fall  , we had to deal with street construction as they put in new sewer pipes on almost every street . So glad that's over . . . . .  for the most part . They still have to pave over the streets , but that will come in the Spring . At least now , parking isn't such a huge deal as before . 

The one thing I wish we had in this apartment is a doorbell . Our side of the building doesn't work at all since we have been here . Every time they come to try to fix it , they putter around with deep frowns . I think it might be a huge , huge problem to solve and expensive .

All in all , I guess we should be fortunate we have a landlord that cares about the conditions in his building , even if we are sick of seeing him every day . :)

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Operation Monday

Every year , during the third week of November , Operations Christmas Child collects shoe boxes filled with various items for boys and girls to send to needy children around the world . 

In our household , this has become  something we look forward to every year . We usually start filling our shoe boxes in January , mostly  for a girl , and by the time November rolls around , the box is overflowing . 

Just imagine a small child that lives in a home with no running , clean water or a bed to sleep on , receiving a box filled with goodies just for them . Some of them have never even seen or had candy , a new dress or doll .

We become like small children ourselves whenever we pack our        boxes , imagining the looks of pure surprise and delight on their faces when they open them . 

So what do we fill them up with ? Last year , we bought two barbie dolls along with some headbands , toothbrush , toothpaste , some school supplies and candy . Basically , anything that can fit into a shoe box that isn't used or broken , can be acceptable . 

If you are interested in participating in this charitable event , you can log onto www.samaritanspurse.org/occ  or call toll free 1-800-353-5949 for more information . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Healing The Hurt

No close relationships are without some conflict. The test of a strong relationship is not whether there is conflict but how that conflict is handled.
Unknown

I have certainly mellowed with age . . . . or at least , I like to think so . What was important to me once , has lost it's shine . I really have become quite choosy in my drama , if there is to be any drama at all . 

The one thing that has stayed pretty much the same has been my desire to have people like me . No matter how much I may say otherwise , other's opinion of me plays a big part in my self worth . Don 't we all have a secret wish buried deep within our heart to be liked by all ?

For me not to care , I definitely would have to be extremely angry at the person or the situation . With age comes experience in handling difficult issues and I have learned to walk away quietly , no matter the boiling rage inside . One can only keep turning the cheek for so long . 

Relationships can also change over time . You may have been close , sharing intimate parts of your life with another . They may have been over your place daily or you have spoken to each other several times a day . It doesn't matter , relationships with others can change and you may not even know when it has altered . 

Either way , I am learning to let go without much struggle . It may hurt , but is it really worth all the hassle of arguing who may be right and who may be wrong ? Arguments usually turn into ugly name calling , saying things that cannot be taken back . 

So am I hurt ? Yes . Will I get over it ? Eventually . Living life            takes time , whether it's happy or sad . So don't burn all your bridges , you never know when you may have to use it again . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

The Perfect Time

As an early riser , I was looking forward to this morning to being up before anyone else . I love the stillness , the absolute quiet where I can settle down with my cup of coffee and write . 

I always find the morning to be the perfect time to blog . It may have to do with the quiet , the no interruptions , with  my mind  at ease . I can concentrate fully on the topic at hand without having to rush , because I needed to be at an appointment elsewhere . 

So when that moment arrived , I found I have no internet connection . Disappointment overcame me , disgusting me with these ongoing problems I have been experiencing concerning this computer . 

Once again , I started unplugging everything . Once again , I called them to send a "refresh " signal . Once again , I restarted this thing .

It should not be this difficult .

By the time all of this took place , it was already lunchtime and my morning perfect time was ruined . Oh well , Just when I thought I could get a little ahead , I lagged a little behind instead . That's okay . If I become too embroiled in the difficulties of everyday life , I won't be enjoying this journey of mine . 

There always will be a tomorrow and the day after that  and so on  and on . No need to stress over the little things nor the big . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

The Waiting Room

It's been a few months since I've been here at the hospital , waiting to see my oncologist . The experience once again moved me in ways I haven't expected . Feelings came up that I thought were long hidden away and dealt with . 

Driving to my appointment , listening to worship music , my eyes welled up unexpectedly . My stomach was in knots and nervous tension overwhelmed me , grinding my teeth on reflex . 

Why was I so nervous ?

I have been feeling great these past six months . Months that have been spent playing hooky not only from work , but also from my        cancer . I was in remission and like a child in a candy store , I wanted to play . 

This appointment brought back reality into a life that I found that I really missed . This carefree existence of no tests , needles , probing etc . I was normal with no threat of an illness hanging over me . 

Who would want to wake up from this dream ? 

I'm not afraid of the cancer coming back . I am afraid of losing this freedom I've been experiencing . Let me live it a while longer . Let me bask in it and breathe in it's glorious scent ! 

Sitting here in the waiting room of my oncologist , it's if I never left . Life does go on and on . I guess , it's time to come back to reality and to the game of prevention .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Resting In The Silence

I never thought I would experience burn out . I mean , why should I ? I regularly attended Church , a women's bible study group , served every Sunday and made devotions a daily exercise . Why would I get burned out ? 

It has been a very emotionally and mentally trying year for me . Changes at work , the burn out at Church  and my approaching fiftieth birthday playing havoc with my state of being . 

Looking back , I knew I was drowning , but I couldn't understand what was happening to me . I felt myself gasping for air , wanting to inhale a deep fresh breath of life . Instead , all I was able to inhale was a lingering scent , a tease of what could be . 

I've always been a leader , whether I wanted to be or not . People strive to be noticed by their peers , I strive to blend in with the wallpaper . The limelight always made me feel uncomfortable .  Yet , I've been there more than I like , rather in the hot seat than the bright lights . 

Even during my illness , I was never allowed to break down and openly cry . I kept going , opting to show my stronger side . I volunteered , blogged and crocheted my little heart out , trying to comfort others by my actions and words . 

As my cup run over , spilling everywhere making a mess , I wondered . . . . who would comfort me ?

When we fall and break into a million pieces that can never be put back together again , we know we have to be reborn all over again . 

How can I start over ? One has to make a clean slate of it all by erasing everything , but the foundation . That's the strongest part , the foundation . Tear up the plans and start over with a blank sheet . The way we have done things in the past have brought us here to this
 point . Some were good things and some were not so good , but sifting through the debris is vital in choosing what will stay or not .

What's in store for me now ? Rest . Resting my mind from everything and placing one step in front of the other . Slow and easy , resting in the stillness , the silence of nothing . Where will these steps take me now ? I can only imagine . 

Jesus , would you walk with me on this new path ? 

Have a blessed day everyone .

Monday God Moments

Two years ago , I shared some God moments in my life and asked if any of you would like to share yours with me . I wasn't disappointed . Since it has been awhile , I thought we could do it again . 

The following is the very first  post for the same request . Don't be shy . Send me your God moments via my e-mail listed below . Looking forward to sharing all the different ways God has Blessed us with all of you . 

I Have A Request

   Whatever my plans for the blog were today, they  will have to go on hold . I have other pressing issues to bring up . I received a phone call this evening that certainly was a " God Moment ". I could not get this event out of my head . It made me realize something very important .
    People  tell me how positive I am during this journey of mine , but this is a lie . This is a facade , but that's another story .....another time . It did alter how I felt . It uplifted my spirits . Here I was laying down after just coming home from my chemo and I was dead tired . I mean my body actually felt like dead weight . I just hit the bed and didn ' t move . The whole time I'm thinking how in the world am I going to perform all my duties for the next two weeks . This chemo took everything out of me .
   This " God Moment " changed all that . Then I started remembering the many " God Moments " in my life  and how they re-affirmed my faith . I thought of my friends , Doug and Linda , both fighting cancer . Then there the relatives of people who are recovering from a stroke ......Natalie-father , Kathy-husband . Then there is Kelly whose son was born with a cleft . Let's not forget my dear friend Maureen , who is in pain everyday with her leg . There are so many more that aren't mentioned here .
  All of them are trying to stay positive during their journey , but we all suffer from depression at times . We all need a pick me up .
   I have a request . If there is anyone who has a experienced a " God Moment " in their life , I would love to showcase your story as part of a series on this blog . You can e-mail me your story at lottiekrol@yahoo.com along with what town or city you are from . For privacy, I will not be posting anyone's name . I look forward to hearing from you . Let's uplift and inspire each other as we all continue on our journeys .

Time Well Spent

The weekend is slowly coming to an end , this very weekend I so longed for these past two weeks . All good things come to an end and make room for more to follow . 

There is nothing more satisfying for me than to use my time accordingly  and fruitfully . Being productive is something I am constantly trying to achieve . Time is very important when you're living on borrowed time . 

Sitting back , I surveyed all my work . The place was cleaned  and laundry done . Five boxes of crocheted items packaged , labeled and ready for delivery . Supplies of yarn have been delivered to those who needed them  . Now it was time for relaxation and crocheting . 

Funday . Sunday . Family Day . 

Sunday has become our quiet time where we indulge ourselves with all the things we love . The best part ? We do it together  . So after all the work is done , we watch our shows , eat our homemade snacks as the day draws near . 

I hope your weekend was as family oriented / productive as ours . If 
not  , there's always next week .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

A Friend In Need

I've always been a people watcher , rather than actually participating . I prefer to sit back and take it all in . . . quietly . 

The same goes for my friendships . Few people can actually say that they truly know me . I only tell people what I want them to hear and that usually satisfies them and me . 

My friendships vary from friend to friend , depending on the level we are at and the experiences we have shared . I do not categorize my relationships into groups of " bff 's " or " acquaintances " . Each friend brings an uniqueness that I need in my life . They all provide a slice that completes my whole pie . 

I have a friend to have coffee with and another to crochet . 

One for visiting lectures , shows and another a traveling companion .

Some are great for wiping away tears and others for encouraging        hugs . 

A  friend to call when in need and one who sits beside me during chemo .  

I have a friend who is a rock to lean on and one who actually leans on me .

There are discussions and debates on politics , marriage and even        sex . It's a good thing I have a variety of women  in my life to share and experience all of these topics . 

I don't need any bff's or besties to  bare my deepest thoughts to . I want real women , from all walks of life who have experienced life , both the good and the awful . 

As Erma Bombeck best said when asked on advice she can offer a newlywed young girl marriage :

Find yourself many girlfriends . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

The Weekend Upon Us

I'm really looking forward to this weekend ! It's been very hectic around here with both of us busy little bees . The time we have spent together almost non-existent . The weekend fast upon us would change all of that . 

My Crocheting Ministry will be meeting for it's monthly gathering . Always looking forward to seeing my ladies and playing catch up with what is going on in their lives . My favorite part happens to be seeing their creations , especially the progress a new beginner makes every month . The second best part ? Packing it all up and sending it on it's way to the next charity . 

The weekend brings an opportunity to work on all my favorite passions that I have very little time for during the week . I can work undisturbed  and in complete leisure . I can stay up as late as I want without worry regarding appointments that need to be met . This weekend is my 
time . 

Emily and I have our shows that we love to watch in our spare time . We haven't been able to do so for almost two whole weeks , because of our schedules . Suppertime together is another plus . I mean , who wants to eat alone ? 

So the weekend is upon us and the excitement is bubbling over in anticipation . When the doors close and everyone leaves , our comfy clothes come out of hiding . A glass of wine , a cup of coffee and a crocheting hook in hand . What else could I possibly want ? 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Throwback Thursday

I still love to dream . I honestly believe that no one wants to let go of their dream . It keeps us going , especially through the rough times . 

Great Expectations

    We all have such great expectations of what will happen in our lives . We plan and organize so everything will turn out the way we want it to . Sometimes we just dream and fantasize of how we want our lives to turn out .
     The first time I found out I had cancer , I wasn't  as traumatized as people think . I thought to myself that I'll go in and have the surgery . Then afterwards , have the chemo and go back to work . Clean cut and simple ...in and out . That's how I handled life back then . Make a list , do the list and move on to the next list . That's not quite what happened . I was naive .
     This time around , I ran around preparing all the details because I am a pro at this , right ? I knew what to expect or at least I kept telling myself that . When treatment time would come , I planned on staying home recooperating . I would do all those things I set aside for later . I would keep away from people because I didn't want to get sick . Germ free. I was naive  .
     We are not realistic people . We like to fantasize and dream . When life doesn't quite turn out like our dreams we get depressed . We feel cheated .
I would dream this dream in my youth of living on my own in an English Cottage surrounded by all types of flowers . The simple life....the peaceful life.....the calm life .Where did this come from ? I really don't know . Not realistic at all . What are my chances of MOVING TO ENGLAND    ? Pretty slim .So why do we do it ? I think we dream big and unrealistic dreams to help us deal with our ordinary lives . To get away from our problems . It's like reading fairytales . We want the fairytale life where everything turns out perfect . We want to believe .

As The World Turns

Arriving back from a weekend in Springfield , I immediately was thrust into the daily business of living . Life has been very full this year around here . Our schedules over brimming with activities , our life has been hectic to say the least . 

The world turns no matter how full your life has become . 

I'm ready for this year to finally close it's doors and welcome the next . I don't want to look back , but move forward . If I did , I wouldn't like too much of what I would find there . I haven't really been a good person this year . I have found the ugly within me and I don't like to see it again . 

Yet , the world turns regardless of my behavior .

Adaptation and change played a huge role , one that I struggled with daily . The " why me " syndrome enveloped my being and I wallowed full force in it . The ugly within me , remember ? 

My lagging behind didn't stop the world from turning . 

As horrible as it may have been , I can feel acceptance finally settling in . What else can I do ? I get up every morning , take a deep breath and live the best that I can . I may not always succeed , but I definitely give it my best shot . 

The world keeps turning whether I'm ready or not . 

Doing what I can and forgiving myself for what I haven't gotten to has been a goal I'm trying to achieve . Life is hard enough without my trying to beat myself up over the little things . I am not perfect and it's time I have accepted it . I will fail . I will make mistakes and I will behave terribly , occasionally ( hopefully ) . 

The world keeps turning and I want to be part of it . 

I'm waiting patiently for 2014 to take a final bow . Moving forward into the future is all I want to do at this point . I have definitely learned a lot about myself and I'm sure I will learn more . I'm excited about what life has in store for me and my family . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

More Monday Moments

I've spent my weekend in Springfield with my family celebrating , celebrating and celebrating . I'm so exhausted  from all the socializing that I find myself lounging around this morning drained of all energy . On the bright side , it is a wonderful way to start a new week . 

More God Moments

    These God Moments seemed to touch a chord in people . I open my e-mail and its full of inspirational stories and songs . Even at the WEDDING on Sunday , I was given inspirational stories that were found in a magazine . Obviously , people want to HOPE . So once again .....more God Moments.


MONTCLARE

 

I have have a bad week and decided to lean on the Lord and youtube for Hope.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y1wtgLAytA&feature=related

I found myself playing this one again and again. This may not be what you had in mind, but this is how I dealt with my pain and found relief.

 

Hallelujah Jesus saves

 

MELROSE PARK

In 2005 Nite Life Cafe was New Life Melrose saturday nite service. Being a single mom I was there anxious, fretting over the troubles that the next week would bring. While there.....I shook someones hand - there was a Twenty in it. A friend showed up with some clothes for me - (we had been trying to meet up for months)  Another friend went fishing, and shared what she caught, with some other food also. Another sister handed my popcorn balls - we laughed since we hadn't had any since we were kids :)  Before I  left that nite another dear friend called and INVITED us for dinner after church. 

    Yahweh Yireh    Praise Your Name  This has been a constant reminder that I am the Apple of His eye, and to cast all my cares upon God.  O how He loves us, O how He loves!!

 

MONTCLARE

just one more

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNeZIcYl3qY&feature=related

Have a Blessed day everyone .