Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Live From Midsomer

    One of my favorite shows to watch is actually from Britain called , " Midsomer Murders " .  I love murder mysteries and I love Britain's shows/movies . Honestly , I'm in love with England . The villages and scenery ...........the cottages and country living .
   Long ago ( anything before cancer is long ago ) I would envision my forties as a time for myself . Having my children very young permitted me to think of what my middle age would look like . My children should be adults and settled on their own leaving me to live out my dream .
  What was my dream ? Back then all I wanted was to live on my own . To have a place totally to myself where I decorated  it the way I wanted . Where I could sleep when I wanted . . . .cooked when I wanted . Basically , no schedules .
   I think all mothers have that dream after raising their children . After spending a huge part of our life cooking , cleaning and being everything for everybody else . . . . we dream of a time when we can be everything to ourselves .
  I envisioned living in a cottage surrounded by beautiful flowers . A garden of lilacs and hanging vines where I would come out onto my patio ( love patios, despise decks ) and have a cup of coffee. . . . alone . This cottage would be set in a quiet town .
   Everytime I watch my Midsomer ( which is a fictional place ) I think about my dream . My cottage and garden exist in Midsomer . It is a fictional town built just right for my fictional dream . I could imagine myself there  and just like Calgon took our mother's generation away , this town takes me away .
   There is nothing wrong with dreaming as long as we know what is real and what is fictional . Part of my fascination with England , Scotland , Ireland and anything Europe might stem from the fact that I was born in Europe .
    Besides , who knows what the future holds .....I might just actually live in my cottage one day . Emily and Diamond can come along . This need of mine to be living alone ? It has passed . I love my children as adults . I love our relationship as adults .
    When the days get tough and I need a break , I 'll just watch my Midsomer and imagine . Have a Blessed Week everyone .

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Puzzles my mom made for me!