Grudge Free Living

    I have spent the last couple of weeks feeling like I have stuck my foot in it . Everytime I open it , nothing good comes out . I have all these emotions bottled up inside and I can't seem to let anyone know how I feel . Whenever  I would blow up , all the wrong things would come out . Whenever I 'ld try to tell someone how I feel  , it all came out wrong .Did you ever feel completely out of whack ?
    It took my friend  to make me aware that I really was hurting inside . Someone has hurt my feelings and has been continuing to hurt my feelings . Whether they are intentionally doing it or unaware , makes no difference . . . . . . my feelings are hurt . What's worse , I'm the only one aware of it . Funny , how people see what they want to see rather than what actually is .
    There are people who will hurt us and we need to forgive them . That's where I'm at  . . . . forgiveness . I find myself at a point where I forgive or let it eat me up . Do I stay in this place feeling insecure about myself because of their bad behavior ? No .  Do I excuse their behavior ? No , but I need to let go of these feelings .
   This person could apologize but the hurt feelings would still remain and maybe I might even have a different attitude towards this person later on . No , I need to forgive before they even ask for forgiveness . They , themselves could be hurting on the inside . We don't know what goes on in their home or their lives . Or maybe not .
    It's difficult to forgive because people need to see the justification . They want to know the time , day and type of punishment that will be used by God on this person .
   All I know is that I haven't been right on the inside because of this person . I , I  myself , need to let go of this and move on . Hurt feelings turn into anger . Anger turns into grudges . I don't want to live that way . I want to live a grudge free life .