Postponing The Inevitable

 I  am known for procrastination , especially if it's something I totally
 dislike . Putting things off can be quite natural for me . I can make up excuses of grand proportion all that are justifiable , or they may seem to me . 

That's why it is no surprise that often you will see me running around in  a panic at the last minute . Majority of the time it concerns things I don't care for or I've never done and I'm afraid . 

I didn't get my drivers license until I was 35 years old , because I was scared . The person I was carpooling with decided to retire and there was no one going my way , there was no way out , I had to learn. 

It was the same with taxes . My dear girlfriend  , an accountant , would do them for me for years . . . . then she moved away to Texas . I waited until literally two days before they were due to learn to do them myself . 

Don't even get me started on the car situation that my son used to take care of for me . 

I could go on and on listing things that I have procrastinated in the past . The fact is , I delay things for two reason : I'm scared or embarrassed .

Making a good impression always played a huge role in my upbringing . No matter what was going on at home , we always held a good image otherwise . I was brought up in a way that the first thing we do in any argument is shut the open windows . A good  impression meant a lot . 

Looking good prevents one from going beyond the comfort level . I haven't explored many things because of it . I have never ridden a bike or learned how to swim . Being afraid has limited me in living out my life . The fact that I'm writing this blog or leading my crocheting ministry is huge for me . I'm good at leading things that others have founded . 

This quiet time , I know that God is providing for me to finish up everything I need to get done . That next level of my journey is coming and I need to prepare . It's hard when you're a procrastinator , but when you're a scared one ? It's frightening to just let go . . . . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .