Saying Goodbye

When my son died at the age of 5 months , I had to say goodbye to his things . So one day , I locked myself in the nursery and packed away everything . Each item I held in my hands , I replayed a memory in my mind . I can still remember holding up a garment of his and inhaling his scent . That. . . . .  was many , many years ago .

Sitting on the carpeted floor of my bedroom , I opened a drawer filled with scarves . These scarves have been a huge part of my life . For a long time now , they have spelled out who I am and what I was going through . I thought I would never get rid of them .  

With my empty cardboard box ready , I packed each one feeling the textures beneath my fingers . The colors and beautiful designs that so many people passed on to me with love . I thought of the different ways I have worn my scarves so I could look stylish instead of looking like I have cancer and sickly .

Why am I packing them away , especially now when my cancer has come back ? I want to give them away . I thought about this long and hard . Just as I changed this blog title , I need to change my outlook towards this disease . I don't want to live cancer for the second , or third or fourth time . I need to accept it as part of my life . Cancer is part of my lifestyle .

So , just as I packed my son's belongings and gave them away , I will do the same with these scarves that mean so much to me . I haven't forgotten the memory of my son and in time , I have come to accept that stage of my life . It's time now , to do the same with this cancer .

I didn't want to throw them out since they are so special to me . I have decided to donate them to Gilda's House . Maybe , some of those ladies can use them . They too , have ovarian cancer .
Have a Blessed Week everyone .