A Museum Of Resentment

 

                                   Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

When sorrow all our heart would ask,

  We need not shun our daily task,
    And hide ourselves for calm;
  The herbs we seek to heal our woe
  Familiar by our pathway grow,
    Our common air is balm.
J. KEBLE.

I never thought I would be that someone who harbors resentment towards others. Never! In fact, I was that person who would try to keep the peace at all cost. I would try to resolve the issue rather than not ever speak to that person again. Yes, I was that person who preached forgiveness to everyone. I was that person.

Funny thing happens when one begins to feel superior as if we have overcome something others are struggling with on a daily basis. We begin to feel as if we are in a protective bubble and pretty soon we forget how it feels to be in a hard place such as resentment and unforgiveness. We start to believe we have become immune to it.

Letting go of the past hurt is the hardest thing in the world. It wants to linger in our heart, festering all that resentment until it boils over into unforgiveness. It becomes our way of life, a museum of sorts where we can revisit as often as we like. That resentment keeps on festering quickly turning into bitterness and hardness of the heart.

This past year has been extremely difficult for my family. Trials, troubles, struggles come and go in our life. Some harder than others, but all definitely painful, often leaving a scar. Resentment has found a spot to crash in my heart turning it into a regular museum of resentment.

 We as Christians know the importance of healing our hearts, protecting them against the sin of resentment, anger and bitterness. We know it is wrong. We know God wants us to be complete and live freely as loving individuals created in His Image. Since we know deep inside that it is wrong to feel these negative emotions, we know we need to come before the Lord and seek His help.

 I lay myself, naked and raw, before my Lord. Desperate. Wounded. Broken. Purify me, cleanse me from this sickness. Make me whole. You are my Almighty God of the Impossible made Possible. I want to be better than I was . . . . . so much better. Release me from this bitter heart and keep me from hardening myself against others. 

We cannot go through life alone, especially when faced with worldly struggles. We cannot go on harboring ill feelings toward the people whom we are to love. These people are not just your family or friends or co-workers. These are your neighbors. These are the people in the world. We cannot justify these negative emotions just so we can feel good about how we behave towards them. We definitely need to knock down the walls of that museum and become free of all it's entanglements.

Living our best life doesn't come easy. Life keeps throwing all these curveballs our way and we can become so wrapped up in our feelings that we forget how to love. We forget all the wonderful moments we have shared and the laughter that bubbled up inside of us at the silly things. We just plain forget. Instead, we harbor bad feelings, we resent others, we become bitter. Where's the best life in that?

Have a blessed day everyone.