What comforts, Lord, to those are given,
Who seek in Thee their home and rest!
They find on earth an opening heaven,
And in Thy peace are amply blest.
W. C. DESSLER.
It may come as a surprise to many that I never set out to start a crocheting ministry. I'm the least likely candidate to be leading anything, let alone a crocheting ministry. First of all, I haven't crocheted much at that time since childhood. I prefer my own company and like to blend in with the wallpaper. Not exactly a born leader.
There were some women who wanted me to teach them how to crochet so I invited them over. Next thing I know, more and more people came and a Ministry was born. It's not I, but Him. He started this ministry. He brought the women. He made yarn donations flow freely.
Even though many have come and gone since then, there have been the very few who have stuck with me this whole time. There is Brigette, Lola, Crystal, Cindy, Belen and Jeanne. Not all crochet, some just make deliveries.
I have learned over these years to listen when He calls. When He says go, I go. It makes no difference if I like it or not. I could be unhappy about it, angry or even upset, but I do it.
This morning my heart is heavy since this is the first time my go went bad. I heard His voice inside my heart to bless someone I know with the help of two other people. I can swear to you, my heart felt so right about this, so I did.
There are two things I did wrong. One, I chose the unbelievers to do the believers act. And I chose one of them to deliver the blessing. Basically, one cooperated willingly, the other didn't.
How do you know he needs this? What if he is offended? What if you are wrong about this? I don't know, I'm not comfortable about this? And it went on and on, to the point where I began doubting the voice of the Holy spirit that I've always listened. I began to think like them. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I imagined it. This is the hard part for me to admit. I actually started to believe they were right and I was wrong.
I chose unbelievers to do a believers act. That's where I went wrong. I couldn't sleep all night wrestling with this, because for the first time in my life, I didn't go when the Holy Spirit said go. I disobeyed. I should have taken care of this myself. Period. Emily thinks that this wasn't my test, but theirs. One passed and the other failed.
When it comes to money, people become obsessive. We all say that we trust God with everything. We trust Him with our children, our health, our jobs. I don't think that's the real trust test here at all. The number one way you can prove you trust God is with your money, especially when you don't have much in your account. If you can give when you have less, you trust God to provide.
So where do we go from here? I'm not sure. This is the first time it went so bad. I should have taken care of this myself. I shouldn't have expected others to believe in what I do. This is how I live my life, obviously it's different from theirs. If I had asked my children to do this, it would have been done without question. I do know, I see them in a different light. It changes things. It really does. The ones that have the most, give the least.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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