Just Plain Bitter

                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Was the trial sore?
Temptation sharp? 
Thank God a second time!
Why comes temptation but for a man to meet
And master and make crouch beneath his foot,
And so be pedestaled in triumph? 
Pray"Lead us into no such temptations, Lord!
"Yea, but, O thou whose servants are the bold,
Lead such temptations by the head and hair,
Reluctant dragons, up to who dares fight
That so he may do battle and have praise.

--Robert Browning

You know, if I didn't get cancer, I'd be pretty bitter. Bitter at the world. Bitter at my life. Bitter at my family and friends. Just plain bitter. 

Bitterness needs to be spit out as soon as possible. You can tell right away when you have it. It sort of just sits there in the pit of your belly. Spit it out quickly before wrath settles in and begins to smolder. Wrath is like coal where all it needs is a small ember to fuel that anger and bitterness. Next thing you know, a full blown bonfire is roaring away. It's not that easy to put it out.

I've been bitter like that in the past. Trust me, you don't want to go there. I've become so consumed with certain people in my life and the way they wronged me, I couldn't see past that emotional bitterness toward them. I thought I would never get over it. I literally had to eliminate them from my sight and purposely began to avoid them. Out of sight, out of mind. 

I threw myself into various projects and turned off social media. Social media can be the very devil! I love it, but it can turn on you. I'm ashamed to admit it, because eliminating people isn't really the Christian way of doing things. I should have been able to rise above it and dealt with it, but I couldn't. 

Now, looking back, I'm glad I've finally been able to put to rest all that bitterness. I haven't felt like that before about anyone and it scared the daylights out of me. Who knew that bitterness could take root inside my heart so quickly? And so bitterly?

We live and hopefully, we learn. It's not easy for me to go back and reflect on a "not so proud moment" in my life. Should I have handled it differently? Absolutely! I wish I was above all that emotional mess, but I guess I failed in that department. I'm glad it's over and I can look back on the individuals involved painlessly and unemotionally. Thank you Lord for that!

Have a blessed day everyone.