Highlight Of The Week #18

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.

As weeks go, this wasn't such a bad one. A lot has happened during this week. My staples came out last Tuesday and it wasn't too painful. We did have a discussion as to the next steps in my recovery. Although they were unexpected, I can and will deal with whatever is thrown my way. Now, I wish my fmla paperwork went as well as my health recovery, but that is another story for another day!

It was also a week for celebrations! Three of my family members celebrated a life event called Graduation. My great-niece Destiny graduated from High School (a whole year early), my grandson Tim from 8th Grade and my niece Brianna from kindergarten. Growing up, these little buggers, growing up!

We did also have a death in the family. Maybe not in the intermediate family, but a death it was. I consider everyone a family member no matter how distant the relation may be or if it is an in-law. We all are family. My godson's brother-in-law passed away at the tender age of forty. Death is not easy, especially when it's a young person. 

The weather, on the other hand, played out in the same fashion as all the events of the week. There was sunshine and there were storms. Isn't that how life plays out? The good right along with the bad?

My highlight of the week was Church. Since my staples came out I was able to finally go to Church. Talk about feeling emotional! I literally wept the entire time. I didn't realize how much I missed Church or how much I needed Church until I walked inside. When the Pastor called for an altar call, I didn't even hesitate, something I haven't done in years!

Last week, I didn't realize how much I've been holding in that needed to be released. As this week begins anew, I'm finding out just how true that statement really has become. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Special Treasures

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I have been given many things since my cancer as presents. People have spent their hard earned money on health based special teas and miracle drinks. I've received special oils from the monks from Peru and a handkerchief that a whole congregation prayed over. A beautiful prayer shawl with a matching hat the most recent gift. There's holy water, special herbs, cancer food dishes and a cookbook for chemo patients. Linda gave me a calendar with hand written scriptures for every week. I could go on and on listing all sorts of things.

Since my surgery, it hasn't been any different. It truly touches my heart at the thoughtfulness of others. True friends really know what it is that we need. They know us so well that their gifts really become more like treasures. What kind of treasures?

Treasures of a favorite ice cream flavor or sweet treat. A foot rub or a good book to snuggle up with. A bag of toiletries that you've forgotten at home. An adult coloring book and yarn to relax you. A beautiful shawl for when you're cold and a funny movie when you're sad. Sometimes just a simple meal so you can rest. 

I cannot tell you enough nor thank you for all the kind gestures sent our way. Friends going to a grocery store calling in case we need something. We even had a friend bring over rolls of quarters for our laundry.

I've received many treasures such as these. A friend of mine once came down to Sunday School where I was teaching to take my place so I could go upstairs and receive communion. She knew how much that meant to me. My sister-in-law brought me razors to shave my legs while I was at hospital for a long time. Each one held vital importance.

Treasures don't have to be expensive presents, just gifts that are needed  at that moment. They are thoughtful, caring and provide a feeling of someone loving you. So if you know of someone that isn't well or has a sickness, next time you're at the store, call if they need anything since you're there. How kind would that be? To them, it would be a treasure!

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

The Last Straw

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 This week has been very stormy, providing the gentle breezes of Summer. This kind of weather is my favorite. The sun is out and shining, but a Summer storm can appear suddenly providing much needed relief with it's coolness. The windows can stay open as the curtains billow back and forth. This is my kind of Summer.

I sat here in front of my bedroom window taking in the storm that unfolded in front of me. There is nothing more I love than a good storm. If it's to rain, let it pour! None of this trickle here, trickle there stuff. Unleash it all.

Watching this storm, it brought to mind an unleashing of anger or garbage from within us that is unloaded into the world. I can sit here and feel the calm even though a lot is going on in my life, but it wasn't too long ago that I blew my top just a few days before my surgery. Why did I feel like that moment was the last straw that I couldn't bear? I don't feel like that now. Nothing has changed since that outburst. I still have the same problems that brought out that anger within me to unleash outward.

I wish I knew all these answers to my questions. We're so imperfect it's laughable to think we have it all together.  For instance, take the storm. To me that represents God and His power. He works us, bending and unleashing all the unwanted debris right out of us. It's not pretty, but just when we think we cannot handle anymore, the storm breaks and a beautiful rainbow appears. 

We may not like storms and the havoc they cause, but all I can think about is the beauty after it stops. The grass is greener than ever before and all the flowers stand tall. Vegetables grow to their fullest and fruits are sweet with their nectar. Most importantly, a storm provides water, the living water of life. We cannot live without that water.

Every time my mood slips, I try to remind myself of that very fact. Remember, we are imperfect and sinful people. Right now, I may be serene, but tomorrow everyone might see the hidden me. :)

Have a blessed day everyone.

A Breakfast Routine

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I'm not a big breakfast person. I can't jump out of bed and eat right away like a lot of people. I'm more of a brunch eater than breakfast. Even when I make myself something to eat, it will sit on the plate until around 10 a.m. or so. 

Emily, on the other hand, prepares a meal. I'm always amazed at her ability to create a fabulous meal no matter if she is the only one eating or not. People don't usually spend time cooking if it's just for themselves. Why not just pop in a baked potato or make a sandwich? For breakfast it may only consist of cereal. 

Not Emily. Every morning, I stumble into the kitchen to make my coffee. Lo and behold, a tasty morsel awaits my presence. A zucchini frittata or perhaps eggs in a basket. An aroma of homemade pancakes or waffles fill the air. Even her oatmeal tastes delicious whereas mine is lumpy and simple. How does she do it?

You know, I eat really well with her around. What am I going to do when she moves onward in life? It will be bowls of cereal, baked potatoes and ramen noodles for me. 

Joey is the same as Emily. They both love to cook and are pretty darn good at it. Where the heck did they get that talent from? Certainly not from me!

Have a blessed day everyone.

T.G.I.F.

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.


Thrice blest will all our blessings be,
  When we can look through them to Thee;
  When each glad heart its tribute pays
  Of love and gratitude and praise.
JANE COTTERILL.

Thank God it's Friday! 

We see that plastered all over social media every Friday morning. Heck, I was one of those people. Right before my surgery, I came across one of those posts declaring T.G.I.F. on Facebook. Nothing new or outstanding about it. What struck me as funny in regards to it was the person posting it. They were a stay at home individual. 

I've always associated T.G.I.F. with the work week, so don't get upset with me right away. The first thing that popped into my head was what could have happened to this person during the week for them to be so happy it was Friday? I mean, we've all had rough weeks at work, right? We couldn't wait for the weekend so we could relax at home, but this person was already at home. 

What could be so special about the weekend to a person who stays at home all week?

I didn't realize until I became that person. There is something about staying at home that feels so isolating from the world. It didn't matter if I had a huge pile of things to do, there would be a day or two that unrest would fill my heart. An uneasiness would follow me closely for the remainder of that day. 

I could almost understand a need for the week to be over. Yet, what makes the weekend different for those of us who are home? Well, there could be events scheduled with family and friends. Our partners or roommates are home all day with us. There are more things to do on the weekend or look forward to that involves being with the public like doing grocery shopping or Church.

Most importantly, there is a change in the monotony of the everyday.  I mean, I wake up basically at the same time everyday. I automatically make coffee first while taking a shower. I pour my cup of coffee and head to my computer. I may crochet or write stories or read e-mails or read a book. I take a nap, look outside, wash a cup or two and start on supper before Emily gets home. Every single day!

So in a way, I'm eating my words. I look forward to the weekend so I could stay up all night watching movies (cable is better on the weekend) and sleep in late the next day. It's not like I have to get up early for work!

Have a Blessed day everyone.  

Throwback Thursday

 

                                               Everyday is a brand new

                                                day, everyday is a journey.

    It's time again for our weekly Throwback Thursday where we take a look to a previous post in the year 2013.        

 

As I read the following post, my feelings have not changed since then. I feel that people really do waste their lives fighting over things that don't matter.  I know many who hold bitterness against others to the point where no one can identify the original issue. Like many people out there, I also have people who hold grudges against me. 

I don't remember exactly what it was that happened that morning in 2013 to dampen my spirits so much, but who can remember some grudges when they have been fed for many years? Why can't people understand that all this time is wasted with hate? And unforgiveness?  Such a waste!                     

The Quiet Morn

 There are days that we long for the quiet . . . . the stillness. Days where we wish we could start the morning over. Days where we could start the conversation over. Disappointment clouds my morning as does sadness.

  I'm not good at giving advice. There are two things to remember when giving advice. (1) People don't want to hear the truth. People want to hear what they want you to say, but most of all, I've forgotten an important detail . . . . (2) people need to experience things for themselves.

  I'm also not good at debates. The things that people bring up during debates shock me. You really have to perfect the art of arguing to be a great debater. I am a lover not a fighter, baby.

  Anyway, today is one of those mornings. I wish I kept my mouth shut and didn't get involved in debates and advice giving. Usually, I'm the one who walks away wounded and torn to bits.

  People look for conspiracy, hidden motives and deceit. They need to "see" rather than believe by faith, devotion, love and loyalty.
  If people live by sight rather than faith, is it such a wonder there is a lack of God in our society?

  Instead of looking for ways to destroy the world we live in and each other, why don't we try to save it. Instead of reaching for snide remarks and ways to outdo the next guy . . . . why don't we reach for the Bible. Instead of voicing all the terrible things that have happened to us, why don't we acknowledge all that God has done for us.

  As someone who's time is limited here in this world, it pains me to see people looking for controversy rather than living their life to their fullest potential. I would love to be able to live to the ripe old age of my ancestors, who lived well into their nineties. Most likely this will not happen. The years I do have, I consider a Blessing.

  It pains me to see people waste their time here full of anger and suspicion. So intent on "seeing"? Take a good look at your life. What do you "see"? Lord, never help me forget where I've been. I need to "see" where I'm going.
Have a Blessed Life.

The Recovery

                                     
                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Without a false humility;For this is love's nobility,--Not to scatter bread and gold,Goods and raiment bought and sold;But to hold fast his simple sense,And speak the speech of innocence,And with hand and body and blood,To make his bosom-counsel good.He that feeds man serveth few;He serves all who dares be true.

--Ralph Waldo Emerson.

There was nothing more I feared than the recovery. It wasn't fear of dying like everyone assumed, but the pain that would follow. Well, I can honestly say that I was wrong. This was nothing like the last time!

Yesterday, I had an appointment for my post-op that I was dreading. I knew that the staples would be removed (yikes!) and we all know about those sensitive areas of our bodies where the smallest tinge of pain can be magnified. One would assume that I would be accustomed to pain by now, but that is not true at all. In fact, it's the opposite.

Since I still had my staples, I haven't been driving at all. If I needed anything, others were only to happy to help out, especially my friend Belen. It was she that drove me to my appointment and sat patiently in the waiting room. 

So they took out my staples, cleaned up my incision and then we got down to the nitty gritty of deciding what to do next. It seems that I will be having chemotherapy, at least three infusions. Also, my oncologist felt some radiation would be required. 

Now, I'm very familiar with chemo, but radiation, not really.  The idea of  coming and going to the clinic daily for like three weeks or so, is overwhelming to me. All I could think about was the cost of parking  is so high already and now I'm using it everyday for 15 days! Uggh!

When I came out into the waiting room, there was Belen sipping on coffee. Apparently, there is a coffee station right here in the waiting room and I never knew about it! I've been coming here since 2011 and never noticed this huge table setup in the corner. How weird is that? 

  For the rest of the day, I felt frustration. Not only was my belly aching after all this attention it received earlier, but now I had all these appointments to make, ones that I wasn't looking forward to. It wasn't what I had imagined when I agreed to the surgery. I thought I would recover and after some time go back to work. Now we are facing another treatment blah, blah, blah. I really thought I was pretty much done, but we will do whatever we have to get a grip on this cancer. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

A Turn

                                                 Everyday is a brand new day, everyday
                                                 is a journey.

Since my surgery, my routine life has taken a back seat. What was ordinary and structured before turned into an unexpected adventure. Almost daily, there is a card or package in the mail for me or a visitor knocking on my door. Every single day is totally different than the last. 

Besides all that, when one is at home whether on vacation or illness, there is more time to spend in the company of others. One may feel tiredness, but it's a different kind of tiredness. 

I'm not sure when the change actually happened, but almost overnight as I awakened one morning. I felt good. Really good.  I had a good nights sleep without any tossing and turning. Even though I still had staples, the wound looked good and healing was obviously taking place. 

Honestly, I never thought it would be this good. I was so afraid of the recovery often remembering the past pain of surgeries long ago. I am taking it easy, resting when necessary, being very aware of my body's needs.  I'm amazed every single day that I'm still here. God is not finished with me apparently. 

Healing. There is so much to that concept. It involves not just the physical, but also the spiritual. I'm thriving with all the sunshine that awakens me every morning as it streams through my bedroom window. Peace and serenity. Isn't that what we all desire?

Have a blessed day everyone.

Simply A Minimalist

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey

Minimalism is the intentional promotion of the things we most value and the removal of everything that distracts us from it. It requires a conscious decision because it is a counter cultural lifestyle that stands against the culture of over consumption that surrounds us.

The world we live in is not friendly to the pursuit of minimalism. Its tendencies and relentless advertising campaigns call us to acquire more, better, faster, and newer. The journey of finding simplicity requires consistent inspiration.

Becoming A Minimalist 

 As all of you know, I have a huge passion brewing for Tiny Living. As everyone else approaching retirement, I really looked at my finances and tried to figure out how to stretch them as much as possible. Once I retire, I don't want to be worried aimlessly about money. I don't even want to do that now let alone in my retirement. I think we spend way too much time worrying about money. 

I asked myself: What am I looking for in retirement? What are some of the things that are important to me? How has my life changed  and will continue to change in the years to come? What do I absolutely need to have and what I don't need? Most importantly, how do I view my retirement? Will my health be affected?

My main goal is to spend my retirement working within the realms of my Ministries something I truly enjoy doing. It would be upsetting if my health prevented me from my servitude. Lately, I've been desiring a balcony so I could sit outside to enjoy the beautiful sunshine filled Summer days. Maybe in my next place?

It seems that the older I become, the less I need to keep me happy. Maybe I've realized that things cannot keep you satisfied nor fulfilled. Materialism is a short lived happiness. Even now, I'm still downsizing in areas that I've already gone through. Staring at my closet this morning, I was able to donate even more clothes than before. What can you give?

Have a blessed day everyone.

5 HABITS

                                                           Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                           everyday is a journey.

Who cares for the burden, the night, and the rain,And the long, steep, lonesome road,When at last through the darkness a light shines plain,When a voice calls "Hail," and a friend draws rein,With an arm for the stubborn load?

For life is the chance of a friend or twoThis side of the journey's goal.Though the world be a desert the long night through,Yet the gay flowers bloom and the sky shows blueWhen a soul salutes a soul.

--Unknown.

I became deeply engrossed the minute I began reading The 5 Habits Of A Woman Who Doesn't Quit by Nicki Koziarz. There was something about the author that resonated with me. I felt as if I knew her, someone close to me. It wasn't until Emily pointed out the obvious. 

She looks like Aubrey!

From that point on we called this current Bible study "The Aubrey Study." Now, I do want to point out that this is in no way a negative comparison or that this study reflects on Aubrey's character. This woman was warm, kind and totally had Aubrey's mannerisms. I felt comfortable with her, most likely because of her resemblance.

So what are the 5 habits of a woman who doesn't quit?
1.  She accepts the assignment of refinement.
2.  She follows through with her commitments despite how she feels.
3.  She stays open to the movement of God.
4. She gives others what she needs.
5. She moves forward in faith. 

I really enjoyed this one, but then I always receive something from each study. I am a procrastinator so I totally get this idea of wanting to abandon ship and not follow through. Or at least if I do finish it, I haven't given it my all. I think we as women have such a full plate that we find it difficult to juggle everything we want to be. It's time to forgive ourselves when we do fail and instead get back up  and continue on. I hope you take a peek into this study when you have some time. You won't be disappointed. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Simply Seniors

                

Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey            

While visiting a friend of ours yesterday, she shared with me this wonderful, yet hilarious poem. In all this seriousness, we need a little laugh. I hope you enjoy this as much as we did. Happy Saturday everyone.

Seenager

I am a seenager, (senior teenager)

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.

I don't have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance every month.

I have my own pad.

I don't have a curfew.

I have a driver's license and my own car.

I have an ID that gets me into bars and the wine store. I like the wine store best.

The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant, they aren't scared of anything, they have been blessed to live this long . . . . why be scared?

And I don't have acne.

Life is good. Also, you will feel much more intelligent after reading this, if you are a  seenager.

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe.

This also makes you hard of hearing as it puts pressure on your inner ear.

Much like computer struggles, as the hard drive gets full, so too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.  

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.

Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem: it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise.

So there! 

Have a blessed day everyone.

  

Throwback Thursday

 

                                            Everyday is a brand new day,

                                             everyday is a journey.

  Another Throwback Thursday is upon us as we take a look back to an older post from 2013. Where were then and where are we now.

I have to admit that I truly, truly miss third shift. If I had learned anything these past few years of shift change, it's that I belong on third. I never had to take off work for a doctor appointment or any kind of appointment. Granted, I was very tired and didn't get much sleep, but I had plenty of time to take care of things. My vacation time was spent doing fun stuff and not hospital stuff. 

Besides, all my errands were done on my way home from work, leaving the weekends for my own pleasure. Boy, I really miss third shift.

 

Sleeping Beauty

  Last night, I returned to work after being off an entire week for my second infusion of chemo. What I didn't expect was the very, very warm welcome upon my return. I didn't go around telling everyone about the return of my cancer, so it seems the word got around during my week off. I was welcomed back with hugs and kisses. How very heartwarming!

 The night passed quickly and amicably. I was getting extremely tired as the night went on and it took me longer to get things done. By the end, my feet were burning and I couldn't get home fast enough.

  The best part of working nights and getting off at 6: 30 a.m. in the morning, is that I can do my shopping right after with limited shoppers at the store. I love that about doing my errands. This morning, feeling the way I did, I chose to do the most important ones and head home as soon as possible.

  Coming home, I dropped off to sleep as soon as I walked into my bedroom. I slept for the entire day, only waking for meals. Times like these, I am so grateful for Emily. She simply takes cares of things and of me.

  Here I am, finally awake at  8:00 p.m., thinking I just slept another day away. That seems to be the pattern with this round of treatment. I sleep a lot and feel like time is slipping away, a regular Sleeping Beauty. For someone who likes to feel they are accomplishing something everyday, this is hard to take in. The treatment is for 6 months. That's a lot of time wasted sleeping.

  When I consider all the different types of side effects I have had during my re-occurrences, this is really not a bad one. So, my friends, as I head off to the land of nod, I bid you a Blessed Night.

Highlight Of The Week #17

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

For someone who is immobile, it's certainly have been an extremely busy two weeks. Recovery is tiring! I've had visitor after visitor spend time with me. Flowers, cards and messages. I am loved. We are loved. Isn't that a wonderful feeling to have?

I've had a pretty busy morning/ afternoon. Another set of well-wishers stopped by. Since I felt so energetic, I thought why not make some calls, especially to check up on my FMLA claim. The last time I did that was right before my surgery.  Knowing these people the way I do, I thought I should make sure everything is rolling along.

What do you think happened? They still haven't approved my  claim. These vultures! I can't stand these people. Lord, forgive me. How can they live with themselves? How long have I been attempting to take care of this thing? Unbelievable! Yet, I refuse to allow this to upset me.

Emily and I have prepared ourselves for this trial we knew we would be experiencing with them. We have no need of anything. It all has to do with the principle here. Anything to aggravate us.  Anything to prolong the finances and paperwork. Well, I have news for these people. I know my benefits and I intend to use them to the fullest extent. I am not returning back to work until I am completely recovered. 

I have finished one of my medications and I'm only on 600 mg of Ibuprofen every six hours, plus the blood thinner shots twice daily. I am a little uncomfortable as expected when one finishes painkillers and an adjustment period follows. The staples will be removed next week. One good thing about the decrease is that I no longer require a daily dosage of laxatives! Woohoo!

Otherwise, I am actually looking forward to sleeping in one of these days. Maybe a little light reading.  I did have an opportunity to sit at my desk by my picturesque window as I wrote out thank you cards. I do have to admit that my body is a little tired today. I have been also doing a small amount of walking up and down of a couple of steps. This old girl is tired. That's it for me today.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Discernment As A Christian

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.

When I was a baby Christian, I saw things differently than I do now, many years later. I was so full of excitement and readiness for my new life. I felt that I was such a newbie and everyone else around me were these perfect Christians. I felt they were better at everything than I, much better. They could pray like a warrior while I struggled in my meek trembling voice. They had a Bible verse ready for every problem I had shared with them. I wanted to be just like them one day.

You can imagine the shock and disappointment I felt when I would see these same people whom I held in such high esteem, fall off the Christian wagon and never get back on. I've learned that appearances mean nothing, it's what on the inside that matters.

The more I study the word of God, the more I am convinced that few people really know their denomination's doctrine. I firmly believe that if I'm claiming to be a Christ follower, I better find out what that means, especially with the world changing so much around us. What does my Church's doctrine stand for? Do you know?

We as Christians are taught discernment for many will come claiming to be something they are not. If it looks like a duck, it doesn't mean it can quack like a duck or that it really is a duck. Yet, many of my fellow Church members, co-workers and friends have different views on what the word of God represents. These are the same people that sit beside me in Church every Sunday. How could we claim to be of the same faith and yet believe so differently?

I don't know. I thought that maybe it's because of this feel good mentality that is promoted out in the world today. Then I thought that maybe we are each at different levels in our spiritual walk. Some of us, unfortunately, are not who we claim to be. Maybe it's all of the above. 

The world today is so split. Every increment of our faith has been taken apart and dissected into complicated pieces making things more difficult than they actually should be. The doctrine is the doctrine. The word of God is the word of God. We cannot change it to make ourselves feel better or justify our actions. Why do we fall into that trap?

Discernment is important for many will come claiming to be something they are not. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.

The Entire Time

                                                   Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                   everyday is a journey.


Be still, my soul!--the Lord is on thy side;
    Bear patiently the cross of grief and pain;
  Leave to thy God to order and provide,--
    In every change He faithful will remain.
HYMNS FROM THE LAND OF LUTHER.

You know, I love being a mom of adult children. I love to see that change happen where suddenly they become the caregivers. It's the progression of life and lovely to experience.

The entire time regarding my surgery, the during and the recovery, they took over. One of my favorite scenes is that of Joey sitting beside me before surgery, sneaking in a mozzarella cheese stick for himself as they prepped me. So totally him! Then there is Emily giving me blood thinner shots twice daily without a qualm. Me? I almost fainted when they told me what I would have to do myself at home. Thank heavens for my children!

I guess, I consider it amazing that they even want to be in my company. Children have a natural desire to take care of their parents or at least they should, but it's only natural for them to go live out their lives, leaving their parents behind. 

This entire time that I'm home, I realized how incredibly serene and quiet my surroundings are every morning. The children are still in school and adults at work, so the building and streets are quiet. Perfect for recovery.

Everyone has been extremely caring and forthcoming in their offering of help. Their generosity touching our hearts. There is nothing in the world that means more to us than knowing people love us. Their offering of grocery shopping, another meal being delivered to our house tonight and constant small gift giving pouring out from every direction. How can we ever thank everyone? 

So how is my recovery? The same as last time, nine years ago, I am loved and I feel loved. Thank you everyone for all you do for us. Have a Blessed day everyone. 

 

Simply No T.V.

                                                      Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                      everyday is a journey.

Thy presence fills my mind with peace,
    Brightens the thoughts so dark erewhile,
  Bids cares and sad forebodings cease,
    Makes all things smile.
CHARLOTTE ELLIOTT.

Since the beginning of the year, I've turned off the television as part of my "New Year" fast. I haven't turned it on since then. There have been a few occasions on where I was curious what kind of programs were out there, but nothing to keep me interested. 

In fact, it has turned out to be a real project, a sort of experiment to see if I could live off grid without television. Would I be able to keep myself busy and entertained otherwise? I was worried when I began this Fast, because I was drawn to having the television on all day and night when I was home. It became a part of the "noise" surrounding me. 

Another thing I've noticed is that I end up watching absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, there are few programs out there worthy of my attention. I must be getting old, because I certainly don't like where we are going as a supposedly mature group of people. 

Don't ask me why I even bothered to turn on the darn television during my first week of being home. I was very limited to what I could do  and immobile. Call it boredom. What did I find? Nothing has changed since my last observation. It is a sad day indeed when we can go through the entire channels and barely find anything entertaining. It's just noise to me. I find that I end up watching the news, documentaries or HGTV more than any other program. 

So can I live without a television in my Tiny House? Absolutely! One thing I can say is the variety of choices out there are outstanding. I can listen to almost anything online. If a person has Netflix or RedBox, one can make a choice as to what we watch. The selection may not be as wide and we may have to wait  a bit for any new things, but we don't end up watching aimlessly like robots not really taking anything in. 

I am very glad at the results of my little project. I'm sure that in my attempt of going Tiny, will prove difficult at times, but at least I will know what I'm  getting into. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

The Vacuum Testers

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.


As I vacuumed our small apartment, one could hear the rumblings of a dying machine. It seems another vacuum has bit the dust in the Krol household!

My family has gone through vacuum cleaners faster than any other item in the home. It makes no difference if we have purchased a high end vacuum or a cheap one. We destroy vacuums in this family!

When we were younger, I can remember my baby brother making a remark that we should be vacuum testers, since we break so many of them. If they can withstand the Krol household, it will be a lifetime guarantee for everyone else.  

I often wondered why that happens. I mean, it doesn't matter what brand it is. Is it because we are too rough and uncaring as to what it picks up? Am I expecting this vacuum to be industrial strength? Do I even take care of this vacuum cleaner properly? The answers to the above are yes, yes and no.

On the other hand, it's a vacuum cleaner. It's not a car or a house that I need to take special care of. I should turn it on and it should work beautifully. Honestly, I wonder how long people keep their vacuum cleaners before buying another? Plus, Is anyone else having a broken problem such as I?

I worked with someone who had one vacuum cleaner for like over twenty years. Unbelievable! Do you have any idea how many we went through that same period? Vacuum cleaners and the Krol's do not go together!

Have a Blessed day everyone.

The Routine

                                          Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

I have struggled since arriving home for some sort of routine to occur to no avail. I knew that the recovery would take some time, but I expected to be able to maintain some sort of routine flow. Some sort of work. Instead, nothing.

I can barely move, which is expected. I'm in pain, nothing new here. I knew I would be sore, slow and tired. What I didn't account for was the lack of accomplishment of any sort. Now, I'm not expecting to be a regular energizer bunny, but at least crochet or write a bit.

Instead, I'm way too tired to do anything. I think I have watched all there is to watch On Demand and Netfix. I am not used to be so inactive. Part of it is the medication and the other part of course, happens to be the surgery. 

My taste buds have not been the same, finding food unappealing. Of course, I realize the importance of eating, often opting for juices or small intake of food as long as I am partaking something.

All this is due to my medication. I'm taking painkillers, one every fours hours and another every six hours. Two shots of a blood thinner, one in the morning and one at night. I also have to take a daily dosage of a stool softener prescribed by my doctor, because of the medication. My staples won't be removed until another 10 days or so. My stomach feels swollen, bloated and irritatingly itchy. I'm healing slow and steady. 

This morning, I awakened a little sore since my night was spent tossing and turning. I resolved to actually do something today, even a little crocheting. Anything to help me feel productive. 

Have a Blessed day everyone. 

Throwback Thursday

 

                                            Everyday is a brand new day,

                                             everyday is a journey.

  Here we are with another Throwback Thursday upon us. We're taking a look into the past in the year 2013 and providing a small update on where we are now.

 Nothing has really changed since this post. The same fears plague Emily as they did back then. What has changed is my outlook on death. I would worry what would happen when I'm gone. We all have that one child that is an overachiever in all areas and the one that needs a small nudge. I have one of each. Guess which one I would be worried about the most?

 All that changed this year as I have undergone a trust issue with God. What am I so worried about? Does He not say He will provide for us and take care of us as long as we believe in Him and lead Christlike lives? Am I not a child of God? Then why am I a slave to fear?

 Does that mean that I never show fear or worry again? Absolutely not. They still try to creep in once in a while, but I definitely try to squash these feelings away. I know there will be times where I will struggle with these issues again, but I also believe a time will come where I will overcome. 

 

A Complicated Life

Emily and I sat in front of the computer signing into my HR account at work. Every  portal opened, required another username and password. On the desk was the notebook with all the secret passwords. Who could remember them all by heart? Emily, rolling her eyes, exclaimed:

"You have to do all that just to get access?"

Yes, you have to do all that. Life is complicated and all these computers are made for our lives to be simpler, but really they're not. Somehow, they seem to complicate my life even more. Maybe, if I understood them better and actually knew how to use them . . . .

Taking in her features, my heart swells with love . . . . .and pain. Life is complicated and just thinking about all she will have to endure as a woman, a mother, a wife causes my heart to ache with pain. How can I make it easier for her? How do I prepare her for life?

 Emily's biggest worry? That I won't be around to help her grow as a young woman. Won't be around to help her fill in the blanks. My worry? It used to be the same. A young girl needs her mother. She always jokes that I need to write down in a notebook all the important facts of life. That would be a BIG book.

How will I know what to do if you're not here to show me?

I tell her: That's why women need other women, so we can help each other through this complicated life.  Our women friends will never leave you completely alone when I'm gone. They will be here. They will take over for me. They will pray for you and over you.

As mothers, that is our biggest fear . . .  .that our children will be left unprotected. Who will care for them? Who will be there to hold them tight?

I used to spend so much time worrying about my death. These questions would plaque me. The closer I became to God, I knew He would take care of all my worries. As long as my children seek Him to lead them, they will be just fine. It's His promise to us as His children. 

Have a Blessed Week everyone and know that you are loved.

The Morning After

                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

As usual, my mind lives in a fantasy world rather than reality. All these plans I've made in my mind regarding the hospital stay, quickly dissolved. I didn't do any of it. 

My roommate left in a matter of hours since my moving in and another quickly replaced her right in the middle of the night. This poor girl wailed and I mean wailed uncontrollably the entire night. In fact, the whole time I was there she sobbed, threw fits of anger and loved to slam things like doors. She was all of 22 years. 

At first, I was extremely concerned for her, thinking she must be in terrible pain. By the time the second day rolled around, I wondered if the pain was real or mental. And so did her staff. Joey even prayed over her.

I had no rest at all during my hospital stay. Besides the girl's constant wailing, I had visitors. The staff kept coming in taking vitals, giving medications and doctors made their daily rotation. There was no lull in between. The nights were the worst I think, because of my roommate. I secretly wished she would go home so I could have some peace. So selfish, I know. I just wanted a good nights rest. In the end , I went home before she did. I still think of her and pray for her. 

The rest did come, but only when I arrived home. I hope all of you have a blessed day everyone. 

My Dream

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

It's Saturday night and what am I doing? I'm settled into my comfy chair, my crocheting basket full of yarn on one side. A cup of coffee and a glass of wine on the other. What am I watching? I'm on YouTube watching an endless marathon of Tiny House videos. I couldn't be happier.

Oh, how I would love to own one. I could retire, buy one and settle somewhere quiet far away from the city. It doesn't matter to me what it looks like inside as long as there are stairs instead of a ladder. I could put my own flair into it making it mine. Everyone names their Tiny House. I would call mine KROLCHET.

People laugh at me when I tell them I want to live in a small space like the Tiny House. You'll never fit all your stuff. Really? I have no problem leaving everything in my apartment and walking out with a few boxes. All I would take would be 4 cups, 4 glasses, 4 plates etc. My main concern would be my books and my yarn. Imagine moving with only what is in your car. How great would that be?

Besides, how much stuff do we really need? When I was a young woman, I loved grand things. I loved collecting things. I think it made me feel accomplished that I could own all these things all on my own. I don't need that affirmation at this stage of my life.

Right now, it's just not possible for me to live out this dream. I'm always looking for an escape route to run away from society. God has other plans for me. He wants me in society. Emily laughs whenever I say this out loud, because she claims I like to be busy and that involves people. According to her, I will not be satisfied living alone. I need to be active.

So okay, she's right, but I can still live in a Tiny House and be active in all my hobbies/ministries. I just need to get there first. For now, I can only watch them on YouTube and dream. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

Simply Tea Time

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                        everyday is a journey.

We love tea in this household. There is something so calming, purifying and comforting drinking tea. We have a collection to be proud of with variations of flavors and brands. We love us some tea. 

Here are the top 10 health benefits of tea.

• Tea contains antioxidants.
• Tea has less caffeine than coffee.
• Tea may reduce your risk of heart attack and stroke.
• Tea may help with weight loss.
• Tea may help protect your bones.
• Tea may keep your smile bright.
• Tea may boost the immune system.
• Tea may help battle cancer.

More items...

10 health benefits of drinking tea - TODAY.com

 

 When I was a little girl, one of my favorite memories involved visiting a  dear friend of my mom's. Upon our visit she would lay out a coffee or tea tray with  a plate of sweets. That sweet could be cake or cookies. It didn't matter, because either way, we had a proper British Tea Time. And my love affair with both things British and tea continues to this day.  

 Now Joey never quite got the hang of tea, but Emily simply adores it. As a matter of fact, as she blossomed into a tween and puberty took over, she began drinking green tea and hasn't stopped to this day. Her body has become so accustomed to her daily intake of green tea that she feels out of sorts without it. 

 My goal would be to drink tea only, but I still enjoy rather two large cups of coffee in the morning. There are certain exceptions when I may want to pull an all-nighter and I will drink more coffee. Unlike tea, coffee doesn't have any benefits. More likely the opposite is true. 

Maybe, now that I'll be in recovery for quite awhile, I can take the time to wean myself away from the java addiction. Something to think about. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.

 

 

The Last Couple Of Months

                                                    Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                    everyday is a journey.

Here we are in the first days of May already. Who can believe that? It certainly has been a very busy year for us. January came and we became excited for the New Year to unfold it's treasures. Hope sprung very quickly as it normally does at this time of year. 

February brought our trip to Springfield and the train crash that followed. That was a great weekend, believe it or not, even with all the mishaps like the Atm machine eating up my card. 

March brought on nothing but doctor appointments and tests. What a month! Of course, we all know what the results were, just look where I'm at now. Decisions were made and the waiting began.

April brought on even more tests and the days quickly filled with preparations for an upcoming surgery/recovery period. My niece moved away (my coffee partner) and I became a little sad with the thought of no more early mornings of catching up. It was good to have her live so close to us. We shared things, watched over each others homes while the other was away and went to events together. I shall miss her at our 4th of July Parade that passed through right outside our window. 

Oh yes, I also lost my mind and had a complete meltdown in April. 

Looking down at the May calendar, it seems pretty empty for now. It is only the first few days.  Yet, all the plans that we made in the beginning had to be altered, because of my cancer. The next six months don't look as exciting nor as interesting since I will most likely be having chemo. I just don't want to go bald. I hate being bald. 

No matter what, I plan on going to Joyce Meyer's Conference in St. Louis. That has always been a dream of mine. I'm going, even if I'm bald!

Have a blessed day everyone.  

The Day Before

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

 Leave God to order all thy ways,
    And hope in Him, whate'er betide;
  Thou 'It find Him in the evil days
    Thy all-sufficient strength and guide;
  Who trusts in God's unchanging love,
  Builds on the rock that nought can move.
G. NEUMARK.

I am not a person who is bold, adventurous or a risk taker. I like my feet firmly planted on the ground. Fear has stunt my growth of character or spirituality many times in my past. So it came as no surprise while driving home from work last night, for fear to fill my heart once again. 

Will I be able to live off the limited finances I have? Have I touched all the corners of my list? Have I forgotten anything? Did I make the right choices?

It's so easy to get lost here and away from positive thinking. Instead of leaning into God's trust and faithfulness, we can move into the realm of despair. It's all downhill from there.

That feeling I had on my way home, quickly changed this morning. I may have nervous tension for the awful pain, but as Emily has said before, what is done is done. We will deal with whatever comes our way, even if that involves teary eyes. 

So this morning, I did my laundry and picked up a few things from the store. Packed my bag and went out to dinner with my kids. I'm planning on watching some Hercule Poirot and crocheting to relax me. Tomorrow in the early hours of the morn, we will head out to the hospital while the world sleeps. Should be in my room by early afternoon. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

A Post About Nothing

                                                       Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                       everyday is a journey.

The essence of happy living is never to find life dull, never to feel the ugly weariness which comes of overstrain; to be fresh, cheerful, leisurely, sociable, unhurried, well-balanced. It seems to me impossible to be these things unless we have time to consider life a little, to deliberate, to select, to abstain.
--Arthur C. Benson.

I had one of the most leisure weekends ever or at least that I can remember. There was absolutely no stress of any kind, no drama and no work! Silence throughout the building.

Joey called and we chatted making plans for the surgery before, during and the after. He is one of the most organized and dependable people I know. He is the type you call to take care of things and I know I can count on him to fulfill any wishes of mine. He is also great for calming me down, offering great words of wisdom. He has truly grown to be a wonderful man of God. 

I have one more day of work, which begins with an early Quality meeting before the shift, but at least I can leave earlier. As long as it all equals an eight hour shift, we're all good. I have taken care of any issues and confirmed with my backup. I've only told a few people here and there about my cancer/surgery. No reason for it except I didn't want to create this "woe is me" atmosphere. 

I only have one wish. I certainly hope it is a good day. Recently, we've been experiencing quite a bit of trouble with our computers and even with some of the equipment on my quality cart. About a week ago, a laptop went missing. So now, whenever my cart is not working, I am the butt of jokes. 

"What happened to your cart, Lottie? Did someone steal that too?"

Sad, isn't it? The truth is that when we are having a bad day, everything seems five times as hard. Our shoulders droop. Our smiles turn into frowns and the workday goes on forever. This is certainly not what I want right before my surgery. I want to be calm, not frustrated.

Until next time, my dear friends. Have a blessed day everyone.