Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me.--PS. xxiii. 4.
"You know what, Lottie? The way you are regarding your cancer, that's how I want to be regarding my situation".
That stunned me a little bit. I'm always forgetting that I blog about my life and people are actually reading this. I guess it surprises me that people would be interested in an ordinary life such as mine or at least that's how I see it.
"Looking at you no one would think you have cancer, you have such a positive attitude regarding it".
I don't know who these people are talking about. If they only knew how hard it was to get up this morning. I set the alarm at 6 a.m. on purpose. What time did I get up? It was 7:40 a.m. before I dragged, yes dragged myself into the shower. I needed to do a load of laundry for a delivery tomorrow, plus a dental appointment at 11:45 a.m. I needed to be up and ready, but I wasn't.
Yet, I guess it's all about how others see us, but to me it's a lot more than that. I have seen many of my friends die from this disease and not all of them were in a good place. Some of them were depressed, angry and never quite came to terms with their disease. Some were still looking for a miracle drug or even a miracle from above.
I don't want to waste the time here being angry at my situation. Am I scared at what comes next? Absolutely, who wouldn't be. Do I wish I could live to an old age? Definitely, I mean, why wouldn't I want to see my grandchildren grow up? Do I have bad days/moments? All the time, I'll have a good cry, but then it's time to get back up.
Everyday I literally force myself to get up, place a smile on my face and go out among people. I am definitely living for the now. Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a new journey.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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