A Fuzzy Future

I just don't know where I'm going. I lack any clear direction about my future.
Excerpt from 90 Minutes In Heaven.

For a long time after that initial bout with cancer, I saw a blank page when thinking about the future. I couldn't see myself doing anything in the foreseeable future except the day by day routine.

Even now I don't like to make any plans far ahead and it has been almost eight years in May. I have no idea why.

Before my illness, I was a planner. I made plans for the next twenty years. I liked to set out goals for myself, because back then I had huge dreams totally different from the ones I'm living.

When I glance back on my life, I find I was very goal driven. I wanted to secure my finances, I wanted a beautiful home and a successful career. Basically, I wanted to be a success in all areas of life.

Now, I just want to laugh, because I was measuring my success based on the world's version rather than God's version. What I was aspiring for myself back then dealt with materialism rather spiritualism. Little did I know that by achieving the latter, I  would achieve  the first.

My life now, I would not change for anything. I feel like I've finally am reaching my full potential. There are times that I cannot believe the old life even existed or that I lived it.

Do you know how God has gifted you? What are your primary talents, abilities, and spiritual gifts? What are the roles he has given you?
Pastor Jesse Bradley

I believe that I've finally found that gift within me. Now, it may not be anything grand or spectacular by the world's standard, but God's standard is all that I care about.

Nothing gives me more personal satisfaction then my Ministry, this blog and all of you. I feel so completely whole that I wish I could pass some of this on to someone else. We all need to feel we have a purpose in life and there is nothing more difficult than feeling lost.

I've been lost many times in my life, because we all go through seasons of growth. I've come to realize that my trials are more like lessons for me to learn and when they are done, I've graduated to that next level.

I no longer spend my time planning the rest of my life, I want to live in the here and now. Of course, some kinds of plans have to be made like retirement, housing, vacation etc., but that's the extent of it.

All those future plans? Well, I do know where I'm going with Heaven as my final destination. Isn't that all that matters?

Have a Blessed day everyone.