A Day Of Family Traditions

Christmas Eve Dinner, Sweet Sixteen Birthday Brunch, New Years Eve Fondue Bash, Movie Marathons. Just a few family traditions during the holiday season. Every year we know to set aside time for these gatherings. Our holiday celebrations are basically set in stone. No matter which holiday it is, we don't need an invitation, we already know the time and place. That's what family traditions are all about.

Today my mind was on family and the  traditions we have held throughout the years. They have changed as they should with  the growing additions as well the times. My mind wandered off , but not to the past, but the future.

My children are adults now and soon the time will come for us to set new traditions as their families expand. I am really looking forward to that time. What will they keep? What will they change?  What new traditions will we add?

It is a pleasure to watch my son interact with Tim and Hannah, playing the same games or reading the same bedtime stories that I did with him. It's easy enough to see the things that meant a lot to him when he was small, because those are the things he chose to do with his children. I hope I am around to see more of the similarities between my children's youth and their own.

I couldn't think of a better way of passing the torch, of honoring our past ancestors than to continue the family traditions they created. As one year ends tonight and another begins, let's make a resolution to remember and enjoy all that family has to offer.

Happy New Year everyone. May it be a Blessed one.

It's All In The Attitude

What random act of kindness can you do today that will demonstrate that your faith is real?

Enjoying my morning coffee this morning, my mind kept wandering to Sunday's sermon. The sermon was in the Book of Ephesians, living your life righteously at home, at work, in the waiting line, at the gas station etc. Living righteously involves every area of my life no matter where I am at. Is that what I have been doing?

Honestly, no. Not when it comes to work. Living righteously in a secular world is difficult enough, but living righteously in a secular work force is even worse. I've struggled for years with my work, because work is a place where politically correct people gather. Christians are not politically correct type. At least not me.

I really want my work life to succeed. The last thing I am looking for is failure. If I decide to make a change in careers, I definitely want that to be my choice, not the only way out. As a problem solver this situation has become a personal challenge. I'm determined to make  it work.

So as I'm sitting here with my coffee, reflecting on that sermon, I'm wondering how can I accomplish that feat? Obviously, what worked in the past , doesn't any longer. It's been almost a year now since the shift change. I cannot spend another year whining and complaining about this mess. Maybe, it's my attitude that needs to change.

I think I need to be more relaxed in my attitude. I am no longer a boss of any kind, only a backup, so I need to stop acting like a boss.
So how do I go about being more friendly, appreciative and fun? This will definitely be harder than I thought.

Positive thinking, praying and conditioning myself on a daily basis to like work again will become a routine. It has to, because I don't know how else to go about it.

Another roadblock, another struggle. I feel it might be bigger than just not being happy at work. I am approaching fifty in a couple of weeks. I have been working for the same company for almost twenty years. Maybe I'm really needing a change,  experiencing a midlife crisis. Who knows right now, but I do know I need to work on it.

A new year, a new beginning. Just the right time for some change. Have a Blessed day everyone.

Monday Cookies

Spending the morning with my mom, we sat around reminiscing about the Christmas family gathering on who was there and what was said. It was one of those rare mornings with no interruptions, only quiet as we sat on the couch sipping coffee.

"Did Emily bake anything good at home ?"

This Holiday Season Emily baked so many cookies that it's probably the last thing on her mind right now. She made cookies for a bake sale at work. Then there was the Ministry's cookies for the homeless and baking for her Church for their Christmas Service.

I often wonder why we are so fascinated with cookies in the first place. Whenever there is an occasion where we are to bring a dessert or a small gift, it's always primarily cookies. What is it about them that is so appealing?

Well, I think it's because they are so easy to make and very accessible. If you're not baking them yourself, just go to your closest grocery store or even gas station. There are many varieties of cookies to choose from, you can't go wrong in selecting a type.

Somehow, the thought of homemade cookies brings to mind comfort and one's childhood. It must be the smell of them baking that fills the kitchen. You can't mess up a cookie, either. If the bottom comes out a little burnt or the cookie itself a little hard, we can still dip it in milk and it will taste great.

Why talk about cookies in the first place? Well, I think we need comfort in our lives. When we were little and we fell down hurting ourselves. Our moms gave us a hug or a kiss and a cookie. Suddenly, the tears stopped and things looked a little better.

Of course, as we get older, we need more than a cookie to fix things. We all need something to help us get past these speed bumps, that's why women in particular, love sweets.

So here we are on another Monday, getting ready for another week. Who knows what it will be like? Why not just pop some cookies in the oven , just in case.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

A Tough Break

So I close in saying that I may have had a tough break, but I have an awful lot to live for. 
Lou Gehrig

Staring at the blank screen of my computer, I wondered what the heck did I do now? I am a total idiot when it comes to technology and now I've done it again. I've messed up my computer big time. I have no idea what I have done, but it makes no difference, it's broken.

All my files are empty and that literary project I was working on? Well, half of it is gone! I can't even access anything. All that work for nothing.

Feeling totally defeated, I sat down and resisted an urge to cry. Why was I so stupid? I'm so tired of battling this life on my own. It's moments like these that I wish I was married. I would gladly hand over these problems to the other half.

Unfortunately, life isn't like that. We can't just sit there and do nothing. Getting up, I was determined to do something to make it better.

Having a computer with access to the internet is a must for me. I need to write my blogs, my e-mails, and definitely need to be able to manage my Ministry.

Remembering that I have a laptop from my nephew-in-law, I thought that maybe I could hook that up manually. Hopefully, the laptop works and I can start over, but first I needed to say a prayer.

I don't know how many times a day I pray. Prayer has become such a huge part of my life all of my life. I'm learning to leave all the frustrating and worrying parts of life to Him.

Did it work? Absolutely, I may have lost files, but at least I'm able to access the internet and get some things done.

You see mom, you found a solution. You made it work, all without a husband.

That from Emily.

Have a Blessed day everyone.
 

A Rebirth

A new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night, o night divine

Last night, I had one of the most special Christmas Eve's in a long time. It began the same way that it has for years now. My children came in from Springfield. We had dinner with the family by Tom and Kathy's house.We opened gifts and had a blast doing White Elephant. 

Nothing different. The same thing we have been doing for years. So what was different?

There was an advertisement in one of the local church's bulletin of a Christmas Eve Candlelight service. I have been there at that church many times, so I felt quite comfortable and welcomed. I decided to go after the family dinner.

It was a simple service with no frills and I was glad for it. We worshiped with song after song. The Pastor spoke of the Three Wise Men, Herald, and a baby Jesus in a manger. 

A new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night, o night divine

When we sang that verse, I almost fell to my knees in humble admiration. Tears welled up and I thought of my own bitter seed planted in my heart this past year for others who have hurt me. The bitterness, the hurtful words that stung left me completely. They didn't matter anymore, I left them there at the altar. 

Driving home, once again I was overcome by the beauty of this night. We didn't put up any tree, nor lights or any kind of decoration to represent Christmas. There was only Jesus living in our hearts. Yet, it felt like it was the most special Christmas of all. 

He allowed peace and forgiveness in my heart  for those who have hurt me. I was free to feel His love and the love of others once again. 

I felt a gratitude to that local Church who did something that many others rarely do nowadays and stay open on Christmas Eve. I wonder how many other people in that Church felt a rebirth, a renewal for being there on that special night. How many of us needed to be there. 

I couldn't help, but wonder, what would happen if there were more church's that held a service during the actual Holiday. We are all so broken, and for many of us, the Holidays are the worst. 

A new and glorious morn
Fall on your knees
O hear the angel voices
O night divine
O night when Christ was born
O night divine
O night, o night divine

Merry Christmas everyone !

Tilling The Garden

Few of us would want such a garden, but how many of us have allowed a root of bitterness to spring up within us? How many have a little toxic garden in our hearts? 
David Jeremiah

Yes , how many of us have that little toxic garden in our hearts? I believe we all have experienced that little hobby some time in our life. I know I have. I'm experiencing it now.

I've spent this past year watering and fertilizing a garden such as this one , but no longer. I'm done with it. I'm digging it up completely and throwing it away like the trash it really has become.

These feelings that have taken root have really surprised me. I thought I was above all that. It just proves how imperfect we really are as individuals and how far from Christ-like.

Even though I have fought all the changes in my life this   year , I can understand why it needed to happen. It doesn't make it any easier to accept nor go through , but a necessity.

Letting go is not easy to do especially when one has no idea why it happened in the first place. I must be getting soft in my old age , because I have never been a clingy type. Usually when it's over , I'm the first one to open the door to toss it out. 

Every year at this time , Emily and I have a tradition where we indulge ourselves during the last few days. It can be  with junk food or pampering ourselves , but once the New Year begins , we go on a month long fast. 

We always like to start the New Year fresh with certain goals in mind. We also open it up to our friends and family who would like us to pray for them during this time. If you have a prayer request , please contact via e-mail at lottiekrol@yahoo.com.

Have a blessed day everyone.

Bring The Weapon

The morning began as planned with an early wake up call. The only thing missing was my energy for the fast paced tempo I planned for the day ahead. I just wanted to  turn over and snuggle up under the covers. 

A deep sense of responsibility waved over me  right along with that familiar guilt. So many people depended on me , it was time for me to get up and get things done.

Regardless of my resistance in the beginning , I found I rather enjoyed my day. I saved quite a lot while grocery shopping and chatted with one of my Ministry ladies while dropping off supplies. As I did my  Christmas shopping , I ran into a work associate out with her family. 

I've hummed incessantly as I searched from store to store for what I thought was baking sugar , but turned out to be vanilla sugar instead. That poor stock boy must have checked every shelf in the back room , because some crazy woman insisted she just bought it here a few days ago. Continuing my humming , I patiently waited in line at the cashiers. 

" What is that noise ? " , the cashier asked . The humming stopped almost immediately.

Stopped on my way home to pick up afghans that some high school teenagers  made for our Ministry and got stuck in traffic. Finally making it home as Emily set the table for supper. 

Get the weapon , mom . 

Grabbing her bible from the hallway , we sit down at the kitchen table and say Grace. She opens the weapon and reads a small section randomly. A small discussion follows as we dig into our baked cod , rice  and a salad. I tell her about my day and she tells me of hers. 

The weapon lies on the table between us where it belongs.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

A Status Update

As busy as this month has been , it is turning out to be a good one . A perfect ending for a less desirable year. It's also been a month of good results.

My petscan turned out really well and I'm still in remission. My cancer is soundly asleep for now. My mammogram not only came out normal , but I didn't have to go back for a more thorough screening like in the past. It couldn't get any better health-wise. Although , all our dental had to be placed on hold until January due to the holidays and availability of appointments.

At work , I'm filling in for the month as a backup Area Lead , a job I held on third shift. It hasn't been bad at all , the only problem is leaving earlier than normal . My schedule was very tight before and now I basically have to get up extremely early if I want anything to get done before work . Many a nights I have been seen grocery shopping at midnight.

The weekends are no different . My ministry work seems to have exploded with donations quickly leaving as they are coming in. I have given up trying to achieve order in my bedroom , instead sleeping amid the boxes and yarn.

The Holidays couldn't come any faster for us as we plan on relaxing and maybe enjoying what we do best. For me , I miss my writing and crocheting. There haven't been much of either this month. I've began a literary project during Thanksgiving week and I'm itching to get back to it.

To say we are tired , would be an understatement. As soon as 

possible , this old body is looking for a hot soak in the tub and a good glass of wine. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Journeying Along

Since I began this journey of mine years back , I never expected to end up where I am. Our life journeys take us to the out of our comfort zone areas where we least expected to be. The whole " never say never " mentality couldn't be more appropriate if we followed a map for our life. 

Take a look at me , for instance. I don't even recognize the old me anymore. I often wonder if I really did live that old life or did I just dream it. I'm so different not only in my appearance , but in my beliefs and in my character . 

Every couple of years a new stage with a new path appears whether I am ready for it or not. It's grand entrance is rarely  elegant by calmly and gently entering and blending beautifully into my life. Normally it's quite the opposite with more of a thrust and stumble effect  and knocking down other things in the process. 

That is simply life.

A new season lays unopened in front of me. I sense it , I anticipate  it and I'm ready to live it. 

I stare at the woman in the mirror's reflection and smile , a little nervously. I have come a long way , baby. Who ever thought I would write a blog , let alone see my name in print. I am a woman who started a Ministry of her own. 

It makes no difference how difficult this past year has been nor how hurtful the people in it. I'm still standing and I'm leading with my head held high. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me next. 

That next Season ahead of me ? I'm ready for the journey to continue , maybe a little wobbly , but I'm not finished yet.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Throwback Thursday

It's been a little while since I last posted a Throwback Thursday . Honestly , when I re-read some of them I'm surprised by what it contains . I wrote so many that I have lost track and it is like visiting an old friend when I post them all over again .

 My views on funerals or death really haven't changed much since this post . In fact , I haven't any specifications as to what my children will decide after my death except that I want to be cremated . 

I will be long gone and it won't matter to me . Funerals are not for the dead , but for the families . Enjoy and have a Blessed day everyone .

Dying

     Dying
             ( Cease to be alive . Cease to EXIST or function . Fade away .)
    What a funny DEFINITION of death . We stop existing , functioning and we fade away . Poof ! Like we never been here . It makes it sound like we disappear and all our existence is erased .
    As you can see , I have been thinking alot about death . Not in a morbid sort of way .I've been thinking of the different aspects of death . We use that word to mean so many different things. We are dying for a piece of chocolate . Our relationship is dying . My body is dying . I'm dying SPIRITUALLY inside .
   There are so many ways to die. We can die quickly , painfully , long suffering illnesses  and self -induced ways . We all hope of dying in our sleep . We're cowards like that . I've always been in awe of people who take their own life . I'm too scared of God and His wrath to do that . But honestly , I'm also scared of messing it up and then I might end up in a wheelchair or brain dead . I'll be worse off than before .
   We plan our own FUNERALS . We want to be dressed in certain clothes . Our hair done a certain way . My mom wants her hairdresser to do her hair not the mortician . I would have loved to seen her face when she told her that . We want certain type of songs played . Some of us even want a certain type of reaction from our loved ones . There better be plenty of crying ! We also should have a certain expression that conveys suffering . Let's not forget the black clothes . Anyone not adhering to any of these rituals and traditions is just plain not sorry that the person is gone .
  What to do with all PERSONAL ITEMS of the deceased ?  Some of us spend our whole life collecting possessions  and they mean so much to us . Upon our death ,  our relatives either throw them away  or spend years in court fighting over . Wouldn't it be better to give it away ahead of time ?
  Some of us have special REQUESTS that we make of our loved ones upon our death . We give them suggestions on how they should dispense  our money . They may not know how to spend it . We're just trying to help . How many times they should come and visit our grave . Make sure there are pretty flowers and the candle is lit . I might get lost when I'm wandering about .
  There's so much to think about when it comes to dying.....what do I want ? Well , that's another blog .

The Season Of Joy

We look forward to this time of year . In fact , from Fall to Winter , Emily and I enjoy what both Seasons represent overall and to us . We can safely say they are our all time favorite Seasons . 

Don't get us wrong , we don't care much for the cold or the craziness of Winter . Who likes to shovel snow and skid around on ice while     driving ? Not anyone we know . 

There is a comfort that comes with these two seasons like curling up with a cup of hot chocolate , reading a good book while the snow falls gently . Or a bowl of your favorite soup after coming in from the cold . Snuggling under a blanket on the couch with your pet and watching a good movie . For me , crocheting while watching murder mysteries . 

Even though it may sound picturesque , to us it is much , much more than that . 

We spend the Holidays at home from work , just relaxing around one another . If there are any unfinished projects or lists of things needed to be done , this is the time to accomplish our goals . 

No matter how bad the year may have been , we know it is coming to an end . We can leave all of  the sorrow behind us and begin anew in the approaching year . That's why we always start the New Year with a fast of fruits and veggies , wiping the slate clean .

We make a list of things for the New Year like a trip we may want to go on . Or maybe a new piece of equipment or furniture to work toward . Whatever that goal may be , it is a time that is spent in leisure and the fast -paced  momentum of our everyday lives is placed on hold for time being . 

Who wouldn't look forward to that all year long ? 

Have a blessed day everyone . 

Monday Funnies

Here we are again starting a new work week and already I'm dreading it . Since  I'm feeling sad and melancholy , my soul unwilling to go face the work world , the last thing I need to be doing is writing negatively  . Enough of that ! 

Here are some comic relief moments on such a dreary day as this . Laugh a little . Enjoy a little . Smile a little . Have a happy and blessed day everyone . 

 

 

GETTING OLDER   A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor'soffice.  "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken  for the rest of my life?"  "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor  told her.  There was a moment of silence  before the senior lady replied,  "I'm wondering, then,  just how serious is my condition  because this prescription is  marked  'NO REFILLS'.."    ***********************  An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,  a renowned surgeon,  perform the operation.  As he was about to get the anesthesia,  he asked to speak to his son.  "Yes, Dad, what is it?"  "Don't be nervous, son;  do your best,  and just remember, if it doesn't go well,  if something happens to me,  your mother is going to come and  live with you and your wife...."  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Aging:  Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your  age and start bragging about it.  This is so true.  I love to hear them say  "you don't look that old."    ---------------------------------  The older we get, the fewer things  seem worth waiting in line for.  (Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place!!) --------------------------------- Some people try to turn back their odometers.   Not me!  I want people to know why  I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.    ********************  When you are dissatisfied  and would like to go back to youth,  think of Algebra.    -------------------------------  One of the many things no one tells you about aging  is that it is such a nice change  from being young.  ~~~~~~~~~~~  Ah, being young is beautiful,  but being old is comfortable.  *********  First you forget names,  then you forget faces.  Then you forget to pull up  your zipper... it's worse when  you forget to pull it down.  ````````````````  Two guys, one old, one young,  are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart  when they collide.  The old guy says to the young guy,  "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,  and I guess I wasn't paying attention  to where I was going."  The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.  I'm looking for my wife, too...  I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."  The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her...  what does she look like?"  The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,  with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,  long legs, and is wearing short shorts.  What does your wife look like?'  To which the old guy says, "Doesn't  matter, --- let's look for yours."      *********************  (And this final one especially for me,)  "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder  and Your hand over my mouth!"    Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile . . . it will!

A Beggar's Choice

 A man said to a beggar one day, “Good day my friend.”

The beggar answered, “Well, thank you, but I never have a bad one.”

The man responded, “Well, may God give you a happy life, my friend.”

And the beggar replied, “I thank God that I am never unhappy.”

The man was speechless. And the beggar continued, “When I have plenty to eat, I thank God. When I am hungry, I thank God. If it is God’s will for me to endure this, then whatever is God’s will for me makes me happy.”

He chose to be happy .

I wish I had the same mentality  as this beggar . I have certainly been trying to achieve that same level as him . The funny thing here is that he literally does have so much more to complain about than I , yet he doesn't . He is a much better soul than I . 

How do we achieve that kind of gratefulness even though we all have strife , struggles and trials in our lives ? 

We have a long time friend , Mike , who also has that beautiful characteristic of finding goodness in everything . If someone is late , he appreciates the fact that they still made it out . If someone says something negative , he will tell you how great it is that we can have an opinion due to free will . 

I have asked him many times , how did he achieve this great feat ? His reply ?

 It has been twenty-five years in the making . I cannot change the situation , but I can change the outcome and my feelings regarding it .

You know , I have no problem doing the same in my personal life , but somehow , when it comes to my work life , it goes haywire . Too many people , too many different values and ethics play a huge role . I do not know how to control the emotions they evoke in me . 

And they are aware of that . 

People love to play on someone's good intentions . They like to use our Christian faith to get what they want . I can't even tell you how many times I've heard the expression : 

Oh , I thought you were a Christian . I see you are just a fake . 

What do we do then ? Guilt invades our souls and we give in feeling horrible , because of it . 

Sometimes , I think that if I lived elsewhere , or worked elsewhere , I would have a better chance of finally achieving that desired level of goodness inside of me . Less stress away from a negative environment may prove to more effective . 

Then on the other hand , I feel as if God has placed me there among these troublesome people so I could achieve that level I so seek and have asked him for . 

Sigh , why didn't I ask for mercy when I showed that desire ? 

Have a Blessed day everyone .

A Still Day

I've been up very early , way before dawn decided to come out and open up this Saturday . I had an appointment for my mammogram at U.I.C. at 8:40 a.m. and I just wanted to get it over with as soon as possible .

I wanted to get home .

Home has always been my sanctuary from the outside world . No one can hurt me there unless I allow them entrance . It is a place where love exists and the comforting arms of the people that share in that love . 

I couldn't wait to get there . 

If only I could reside within these walls forever , I would no longer know hurt or pain . No tear would fall , nor a heart would break . No slanderous word would escape any lips that were aimed at me . 

I have dreamed of such a place . 

There is a place such as my heart longs for , a place that my Father has in readiness for my arrival . He is waiting there , His arms wide open to receive my aching soul . A place where I can bask in His love , not pain . 

Take me there . 

I have spent the remainder of the day in my sanctuary . My heart is still as well as my body . I am humbled by the peace and not the grief and hurt waiting outside . Here I am safe  and protected by His everlasting promise to me . Every time I close my eyes , I can revisit that peaceful promise to rejuvenate when all my defenses are depleted  . 

Be still . Be still . 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

The Lacking Problem

My first week back after Thanksgiving break  has been anything , but ideal . In fact , it's been quite challenging . 

I awoke Monday morning with a boil in the most uncomfortable of places . Having experienced this wonderful thing before , I groaned with disgust at what was ahead of me this week . Why couldn't this have happened on my vacation ? 

Boxes line our hallway , some filled with yarn , waiting to be put away or distributed among the ladies . Others are filled with goods ready for delivery . That blasted darn mountain of a television still waiting for someone to carry it to the trash . 

A growing list of errands : a visit to mom's , supplies to be purchased , a mammogram appointment , an oil change , the post office  . A blog that I haven't posted once this week , not even once . 

A crocheting meeting fast approaching and a literary project that I have no idea when I will finish . None of my crocheting has been coming out the way I wanted it to and I have unraveled a few things . For the rest of the month , I am filling in as backup to the Area Lead , starting even earlier than usual  . 

The nights haven't been any better , tossing , turning and frequently waking up , my leg throbbing with arthritis . My knee has swelled up and I'm anticipating a weather change , lol . Sooner or later , I will have to do something about that knee . Just the thought of adding more appointments to my routine has left me feeling overwhelmed and defeated . 


My time before work is very limited as it is , but when you add on extra duties , it becomes a huge mountain to overcome . Today , everything is bothering me . The lack of time , lack of space , lack of everything can become defeating . This is all my fault . I fill my schedule to overflowing capacity and then I am frustrated . 

Something definitely has to change. 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

A Monday Offering

At this time of the year , many people make a Christmas offering to a favorite charity of their choice . For many years , when I was younger , I did the same never really paying attention to what types of charities they were . I quickly learned that some of them don't really stand for what I stand . Feeling disappointed in myself for not knowing better , I stopped altogether in charity giving .

Since starting my Ministry , I've always felt that this was a much better way of giving for me . I didn't have to worry that my money was spent on things that were against my faith . There are always people in    need . 

Again , this past few months I voluntarily gave to a breast cancer foundation where later I found they use less than 20% of my donation to research . The rest goes to expenses . Hearing about things like this really upset me . Again , I have been duped  into believing that my money was making a difference . 

The same goes for ALS where the CEO makes an exuberant amount per year . Here I thought they were charities to help others and it seems they are a business . 

We all work hard for our money and I am the last person to tell you how to spend yours . We all have causes that we are passionate          about   , me including . 

It has been weighing heavily upon my heart to make a donation somewhere and I've been thinking where that could be . It came suddenly that there is something I really enjoy . I do love to listen online to all evangelical teachings . All that comes through Christian public radio . 

Whatever decision you make regarding a Christmas Offering  this      year , make it to someplace that has a special meaning to or your family . Don't choose randomly , but give it a lot of thought . How do you wish to have your money spent ? 

Enough preaching . Go out and enjoy your day . Have a Blessed Monday everyone . 

A Peaceful Sunday

I didn't feel like doing much today , especially since it was the last day of my vacation . Tomorrow would come soon enough and with it all the responsibilities that I dreaded . 

The entire vacation was spent writing and crocheting , my two loves . The difference here is the fact it was done in a leisurely fashion . There were no phone calls to answer or places that I needed to go . Complete peace . It was one of the most rewarding , wonderful times of my life . I will always cherish it and the fond memories that were made .

When I got up this morning , the last thing I wanted to do is work . I mean , it was my last day , why not spend it bumming around in my pajamas . Even ordered out for dinner and that is a rare thing for us .

In this quiet , I was able to think about the many things that have occurred this year . It wasn't a good year , more difficult than I've experienced in a while . So I thought about it , all the hurts , the forgiving I needed to do and had such a hard time letting go . 

Mentally , I let it go .I said goodbye to all those who caused that hurt . I know it will be a long time before I am completely free of those memories , but I also know I'm on my way . 

In two and half weeks , I will be off once again . I'm looking terribly to that time . I hope it's even better than this one . Another opportunity to heal .

So yes , it's been a quiet peaceful Sunday . A real day of rest .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Looking From The Outside In

I've always had compassion for people who were introverts , castaways , the black sheep of the world . The ones that were always picked last in any given game , the ones that never get invited to all the " cool " parties . The awkward , shy ones that are looking from the outside in  , wanting to just belong . 

Why ? Because I've always been that type of person who never quite fit in with everyone else . I've always formed my own opinions regarding people and situations , rarely being influenced by others . 

This fact carries both the positive and negative result . Sometimes , I wish I had listened to the stern warnings from friends , but I feel we all have that natural desire to learn from  our own mistakes . Plus , we don't want to be told what to do . 

Now that I have aged ( wink ) , things like that are beginning to matter less and less . That deep desire I've always held in my heart  to wanting to belong to a group is fast departing . Why the sudden change of heart ?

Well , I've realized that some of these groups that my heart yearned for aren't so great to begin with . I mean , why would they be selective in the people they allowed in ? Didn't I fit their ideal for the kind of people they wanted to hang out with ? Am I not kind , intelligent , or a compassionate person ? I think I am very funny and I can bring a vast experience of life to the table . So what's the problem ?

A lot of groups are just plain cliques . I have another word for them . . . bullies . You may think it's too harsh of a word , but I totally disagree . If I have to fit a certain criteria , think exactly like you do and nod my head with everything you have to say , then you're a bully . 

The last thing I want to do is belong where opinions don't matter . I love diversity in every part of my life . I don't just eat one type of food nor do I listen to only type of music . I don't only hang out with Polish people , because I was born in Poland . Diversity is the spice of life . 

So you can keep your groups , I'll hang out with the castaways who actually have an opinion to voice  . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .