Monday Funnies

Here we are again starting a new work week and already I'm dreading it . Since  I'm feeling sad and melancholy , my soul unwilling to go face the work world , the last thing I need to be doing is writing negatively  . Enough of that ! 

Here are some comic relief moments on such a dreary day as this . Laugh a little . Enjoy a little . Smile a little . Have a happy and blessed day everyone . 

 

 

GETTING OLDER   A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor'soffice.  "Is it true," she wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken  for the rest of my life?"  "'Yes, I'm afraid so,"' the doctor  told her.  There was a moment of silence  before the senior lady replied,  "I'm wondering, then,  just how serious is my condition  because this prescription is  marked  'NO REFILLS'.."    ***********************  An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son,  a renowned surgeon,  perform the operation.  As he was about to get the anesthesia,  he asked to speak to his son.  "Yes, Dad, what is it?"  "Don't be nervous, son;  do your best,  and just remember, if it doesn't go well,  if something happens to me,  your mother is going to come and  live with you and your wife...."  ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Aging:  Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your  age and start bragging about it.  This is so true.  I love to hear them say  "you don't look that old."    ---------------------------------  The older we get, the fewer things  seem worth waiting in line for.  (Mostly because we forgot why we were waiting in line in the first place!!) --------------------------------- Some people try to turn back their odometers.   Not me!  I want people to know why  I look this way.  I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.    ********************  When you are dissatisfied  and would like to go back to youth,  think of Algebra.    -------------------------------  One of the many things no one tells you about aging  is that it is such a nice change  from being young.  ~~~~~~~~~~~  Ah, being young is beautiful,  but being old is comfortable.  *********  First you forget names,  then you forget faces.  Then you forget to pull up  your zipper... it's worse when  you forget to pull it down.  ````````````````  Two guys, one old, one young,  are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart  when they collide.  The old guy says to the young guy,  "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife,  and I guess I wasn't paying attention  to where I was going."  The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence.  I'm looking for my wife, too...  I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."  The old guy says, "Well, maybe I can help you find her...  what does she look like?"  The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall,  with red hair, blue eyes, is buxom...wearing no bra,  long legs, and is wearing short shorts.  What does your wife look like?'  To which the old guy says, "Doesn't  matter, --- let's look for yours."      *********************  (And this final one especially for me,)  "Lord, keep Your arm around my shoulder  and Your hand over my mouth!"    Now, if you feel this doesn't apply to you . . . stick around awhile . . . it will!