On God my salvation and my glory rest;
The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.
Trust in Him at all times, O people;
Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us. (Psalm 62:7–8)
Finding rest In God
Oh how I long for His loving arms to envelope my being
to place me in His safe guardianship .
I cry out to Him in my weariness ,
resting my head on His shoulders .
Oh , Lord , tuck me away in Your safekeeping
far away from the problems of this world .
Allow the stress to gently leave my body
free to rejoice in Your company .
Wash away all the dirt suffocating me
exposing my shame for all to see .
Cleanse me from the inside out
to live anew by Your saving Grace .
God , let me find rest in Your loving arms
protect me and refresh me all over again
so I can live out Your will
and serve my fellow man .
Prepare me , Lord
for the coming year .
Let the lessons I have learned
this past year serve me well
as I step into a new beginning .
Let me find rest in my God . . . . .
Have a Blessed New Year everyone .
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Letting Go
There is nothing worse than having to let go of something or someone that has played an important part in our lives . Sometimes letting go is a healing process that needs to happen so we can move on to the next chapter in this game of life we are playing .
Letting go comes in all forms . There may be a person who leaves our life because of a breakup or moving away or by death . Letting go may involve getting rid of an idea or activity that no longer serves its purpose .
Letting go can hurt , really hurt .
As the year ends , Emily and I have come to the realization that we need to let go of some of these things that have come to mean so much to us .
Reflection taking place of what was , what will never be and hopefully of what will come ?
The past becomes old and we long for something new to enter . Something better , something more meaningful . To move forward , one needs to let go , no matter how much it may hurt .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Letting go comes in all forms . There may be a person who leaves our life because of a breakup or moving away or by death . Letting go may involve getting rid of an idea or activity that no longer serves its purpose .
Letting go can hurt , really hurt .
As the year ends , Emily and I have come to the realization that we need to let go of some of these things that have come to mean so much to us .
Reflection taking place of what was , what will never be and hopefully of what will come ?
The past becomes old and we long for something new to enter . Something better , something more meaningful . To move forward , one needs to let go , no matter how much it may hurt .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Bring On The Christmas Cheer
Merry Christmas everyone ! Our Lord and Savior has come !
This year I have not sent out any Christmas cards or put up any lights opting for a more quiet , humbling Holiday . Emily and I are spending the day in our pajammies , watching some movies and enjoying our traditional salmon supper . The following poem was sent to me from one of my mentors . Take a moment to read about the real reason for Christmas .
Twas the night before Jesus came and all through
the house
not a creature was praying not one in the house .
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care
in hopes that Jesus would not come there .
The children were dressing to crawl into bed ,
not once ever kneeling or bowing a head .
And Mom in her rocker with baby on her lap
was watching the Late Show while I took a nap . +
When out of the East there arose such a clatter ,
I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter .
Away to the window I flew like a flash
tore open the shutters and threw up the sash !
When what to my wondering eyes should appear
but angels proclaiming that Jesus was here .
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray ,
I knew in a moment this must be THE DAY !
The light of His face made me cover my head ,
it was Jesus returning just like He said .
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth ,
I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself .
In the Book of Life which He held in His hand ,
was written the name of every saved man .
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name :
When He said , "It's not here ," my head hung in shame .
The people whose names had been written with love
He gathered to take to His Father above .
With those who were ready He rose without a sound
while all the rest were left standing around .
I fell to my knees , but it was too late:
I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate .
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight ;
Oh , if only I had been ready tonight .
In the words of this poem the meaning is clear ;
The coming of Jesus is drawing near .
There's only one life and when comes the last call ,
We'll find that the Bible was true after all !
Have a Blessed Christmas everyone .
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Merry Christmas
For as long as I can remember , Christmas Eve has always been a huge deal in our family . Not only do we get together to celebrate the Birth of Jesus , consume a variety of traditional Polish food , but we experience the long awaited and anticipated prediction of the coming year .
Yes , prediction . We have so many family traditions based on our ethnic origin . Our culture believes that how we are on Christmas Eve , that is how our new year will be . If we woke up early , then we will be early all year . If we argue , we will have many arguments . If we spend it with many friends , we will be entertaining and so on and so on .
Many mornings in the past , I have seen my mom wash her face in cold water littered with coins , signifying good fortune for the rest of the new year .
As the table was set for dinner , a coin was placed under each plate so every member could experience the same wealth .
On the dinner table lay a plate of thin wafers . Before dinner was served , each one of us took a piece of wafer and exchanged well wishes for the coming year , breaking each other's wafer in return .
When my son and daughter were small , I would anxiously look forward to this day , hoping that they would get along with each other . Maybe , this Christmas Eve would be the one where the would learn to love one another ? It never happened .
Now that I'm a Christian , Christmas has taken on a different meaning . All these traditions have become simply silly games . Each year , all I long for is a simple Christmas far from all that glitter and shining baubles .
This past year hasn't been an easy one nor has it been a difficult
one for myself or my children , but it has left me feeling humble . I know how fragile health , happiness and wealth can be . I am grateful for what I have .
Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas everyone .
Yes , prediction . We have so many family traditions based on our ethnic origin . Our culture believes that how we are on Christmas Eve , that is how our new year will be . If we woke up early , then we will be early all year . If we argue , we will have many arguments . If we spend it with many friends , we will be entertaining and so on and so on .
Many mornings in the past , I have seen my mom wash her face in cold water littered with coins , signifying good fortune for the rest of the new year .
As the table was set for dinner , a coin was placed under each plate so every member could experience the same wealth .
On the dinner table lay a plate of thin wafers . Before dinner was served , each one of us took a piece of wafer and exchanged well wishes for the coming year , breaking each other's wafer in return .
When my son and daughter were small , I would anxiously look forward to this day , hoping that they would get along with each other . Maybe , this Christmas Eve would be the one where the would learn to love one another ? It never happened .
Now that I'm a Christian , Christmas has taken on a different meaning . All these traditions have become simply silly games . Each year , all I long for is a simple Christmas far from all that glitter and shining baubles .
This past year hasn't been an easy one nor has it been a difficult
one for myself or my children , but it has left me feeling humble . I know how fragile health , happiness and wealth can be . I am grateful for what I have .
Have a Blessed and Merry Christmas everyone .
Monday, December 16, 2013
The Media Cows
"What are you giggling about in there ? " I asked Emily .
"I'm watching The Media Cows , mom ".
The Media Cows . They sounded like a comedy club routine type show , but of course , I was completely wrong in my assumption . The Media Cows , are a group of young men doing a walk through of a game on Youtube . The name of the game we were watching ? The Last Of Us . I fell in love with the storyline and became addicted , wanting to find out what happened next .
What I didn't expect is to develop a fondness for the two young men that were playing the game and offering tips on how to pass each level . It seems , there are many individuals on Youtube that do this sort of thing , but these two provided a down to earth attitude that I found refreshing as they interacted together .
Now , if you have a soft heart or are not used to being around young men , you might find them offensive . These are young men , we're speaking about , after all . They burp , pass gas and talk about gross things like who can spit farther . Like I said , they're young .
Since then , we have watched many game walk through together , each one providing a different kind of fantasy . Isn't that what a game really is ? A fantasy ? A way to escape the troubles of the here and now . It's no different than watching a television show or a movie . Some can even say that playing a board game is a way for escapism from reality . As well as reading a book .
As long as it's all done in moderation and we don't allow our fantasies to overtake our reality , let's indulge to release the stress of the day . In our mother's time it was Calgon , now it's the social media who takes us away .
All of this interaction with technology has provided an opportunity for more bonding with my daughter . I believe my illness has left her thirsty for more of my companionship . Not to mention that my 11 year old grandson thinks I'm the bomb for knowing the life of a gamer . :)
Have a Blessed day everyone .
+
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Thursday, December 12, 2013
Drawing The Line
Sometimes I think people forget where they have come from and the roads they have traveled . When times are wonderful and lives are completely changed for the better , it's easy to forget to be thankful for it . We forget how difficult , how vulnerable and how lost we were during those dark days .
When the sun lifts the darkness , we vow to never forget those bad times and yet over time we do . We become overbearing and judgmental toward others who are experiencing hard times themselves , especially to those who are going through almost the same trials as we have .
It's much harder when it is a fellow Christian because we expect so much more from them . We expect them to be holier and instead we find they're just ordinary sinners like everyone else . Just like those heathens out there .
As a parent , our first instinct is to protect our children from the evils of the world . We want their lives to be better than ours , without any strife or hurt . Unfortunately , we know that isn't possible . They need to go out there and experience the ups and downs of life .
When my daughter was born , I looked down at her nestled in my arms in disbelief . Having three sons , a girl wasn't something I was expecting . You see , I know how hard it is to be a woman and I knew what she would experience in life as she grew older . It's hard being a woman .
This past year , has been a very bittersweet time for us both . As I try to instill some wisdom of my own trials onto hers , I find that the people I'm trying to use as role models for her are failing both of us . Failing because I also have placed them on a pedestal so high they simply can't keep their balance .
People fall down and pray for help . They get back up and instead of extending a hand to help the ones who haven't been as lucky . . . . . . we judge them . We forget what it was like to be in those shoes . We forget not because we don't care , but because when we look at them , we see our " old " selves . It's hard to look in the mirror and see the reflection .
Being a mother with adult children is so difficult , because I can't shield them from any of this . I can only hold their hand , make some tea and just listen . Of all the stages of motherhood , this is the hardest .
People will hurt other people . There will be lies , cheating and everything else . Human nature has been the same since Adam and Eve . My expectations have always been high , full of hope for mankind and one day it will be the Garden of Eden again .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
When the sun lifts the darkness , we vow to never forget those bad times and yet over time we do . We become overbearing and judgmental toward others who are experiencing hard times themselves , especially to those who are going through almost the same trials as we have .
It's much harder when it is a fellow Christian because we expect so much more from them . We expect them to be holier and instead we find they're just ordinary sinners like everyone else . Just like those heathens out there .
As a parent , our first instinct is to protect our children from the evils of the world . We want their lives to be better than ours , without any strife or hurt . Unfortunately , we know that isn't possible . They need to go out there and experience the ups and downs of life .
When my daughter was born , I looked down at her nestled in my arms in disbelief . Having three sons , a girl wasn't something I was expecting . You see , I know how hard it is to be a woman and I knew what she would experience in life as she grew older . It's hard being a woman .
This past year , has been a very bittersweet time for us both . As I try to instill some wisdom of my own trials onto hers , I find that the people I'm trying to use as role models for her are failing both of us . Failing because I also have placed them on a pedestal so high they simply can't keep their balance .
People fall down and pray for help . They get back up and instead of extending a hand to help the ones who haven't been as lucky . . . . . . we judge them . We forget what it was like to be in those shoes . We forget not because we don't care , but because when we look at them , we see our " old " selves . It's hard to look in the mirror and see the reflection .
Being a mother with adult children is so difficult , because I can't shield them from any of this . I can only hold their hand , make some tea and just listen . Of all the stages of motherhood , this is the hardest .
People will hurt other people . There will be lies , cheating and everything else . Human nature has been the same since Adam and Eve . My expectations have always been high , full of hope for mankind and one day it will be the Garden of Eden again .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
The Simple Things
When I was a little girl , I dreamt of grandeur . A large home with a wraparound porch , a huge garden filled with an assortment of flowers and in that house many children dwelled . My career consisted of an executive , wheeling and dealing , with my own office and high tailored suits .
All of us grew up with dreams that may have been similar to mine or not , but we had an idea of how we wanted to live out our lives . That kind of life has remained a fantasy to me . There are some similarities , but they are very minor .
I grew up as a Catholic raised with the notion that our lives are predestined by God before we are born . The saying , " This is my lot in life " , has been the motto I've heard many times . My road has been paved and I should learn to accept the type of life God has given me .
I don't entirely believe that to be true . The road that I was on wasn't necessarily the road God intended for me , but the road I have chosen to take .
My lot in life has been created by me and no matter where I am now , I still have to live out the consequences of those choices . I can remember in my younger days telling myself that I'm living with no regrets . That may have been true then , but now I find myself acknowledging that it was all a lie . I have nothing but regrets .
I'm not exactly sure if it was my cancer or my advanced years that has brought this realization to light . All the same , it is very true . How do we go back and fix things ? Can we go back at all ? We try to teach the new generation , but the question remains , do they want to listen to the old ?
Have a Blessed day everyone .
All of us grew up with dreams that may have been similar to mine or not , but we had an idea of how we wanted to live out our lives . That kind of life has remained a fantasy to me . There are some similarities , but they are very minor .
I grew up as a Catholic raised with the notion that our lives are predestined by God before we are born . The saying , " This is my lot in life " , has been the motto I've heard many times . My road has been paved and I should learn to accept the type of life God has given me .
I don't entirely believe that to be true . The road that I was on wasn't necessarily the road God intended for me , but the road I have chosen to take .
My lot in life has been created by me and no matter where I am now , I still have to live out the consequences of those choices . I can remember in my younger days telling myself that I'm living with no regrets . That may have been true then , but now I find myself acknowledging that it was all a lie . I have nothing but regrets .
I'm not exactly sure if it was my cancer or my advanced years that has brought this realization to light . All the same , it is very true . How do we go back and fix things ? Can we go back at all ? We try to teach the new generation , but the question remains , do they want to listen to the old ?
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Monday, December 9, 2013
A Lukewarm Mentality
A person could be filled to the brim with a passion , dedicating their whole being into their cause . A cause spanning their careers , a thrill of a favorite past-time or a charitable contribution to society . Whatever that cause happens to be , it is faced with a fervor of a fast tempo heartbeat !
In the beginning , we can devote so much of ourselves as dreams and ambitions burst forth from our loins . Passion can be powerful and rewarding . It can also become a learning experience that can benefit not only us , but those around us .
That same passion that evoked an energetic response in the beginning , can over time , release an exhausted soul . A soul that has become overwhelmed , over burdened or burned out from the passion that started it all .
A soul can stare into the mirror and wonder at all that has happened . The kind of life this soul has lived . The mistakes that were replayed over and over . The doors that were never opened or those that were . The successes and the failures reflecting back , a glare upon the soul's face . The fruits of labor played forward , the chain that cannot be broken .
Was I the best that I could be ?
Has my passion waned ? Has it become lukewarm . . . . tepid . . . . . . . . . unsavory , unable to quench the thirsty heart ? Have I become the woman at the well ? Dispensing bitterness and pain , such obvious flecks of anguish resounding all around me .
Was I the best that I could be ?
In the beginning , we can devote so much of ourselves as dreams and ambitions burst forth from our loins . Passion can be powerful and rewarding . It can also become a learning experience that can benefit not only us , but those around us .
That same passion that evoked an energetic response in the beginning , can over time , release an exhausted soul . A soul that has become overwhelmed , over burdened or burned out from the passion that started it all .
A soul can stare into the mirror and wonder at all that has happened . The kind of life this soul has lived . The mistakes that were replayed over and over . The doors that were never opened or those that were . The successes and the failures reflecting back , a glare upon the soul's face . The fruits of labor played forward , the chain that cannot be broken .
Was I the best that I could be ?
Has my passion waned ? Has it become lukewarm . . . . tepid . . . . . . . . . unsavory , unable to quench the thirsty heart ? Have I become the woman at the well ? Dispensing bitterness and pain , such obvious flecks of anguish resounding all around me .
Was I the best that I could be ?
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Day Three
Day Three :
Day Three started out great as I headed out the door with the list in hand and with an energy level of an athlete . I convinced myself that today would be a day of accomplishment , feeling it down to my bones . Music blared inside my Durango as I weaved in and out of traffic , singing out loud my own version of the lyrics and mostly off key . It didn't matter , not only was I happy , but I looked happy .
Checking off one by one on that infamous list proved not to go as quickly as I had hoped . For the most part , I seemed to have over-scheduled my errands as if I was Superwoman . I do have a problem with overdoing things . My eyes are always bigger than my stomach as I overfill my plate . I schedule plans to the max on any given day with activities . I try to do the possible with the impossible .
By the time the afternoon came and went , fatigue slowly spread from the tips of my toes to the top of my head . Finally sitting down in front of my computer , with my coffee and a glass of red wine off to the side , I settled in for some blogging . Signed into my account and POOF ! nothing but ads , pop-ups and errors on my PC appear . Try as I may , they won't go away . So much for getting ahead on my blogs .
Frustration settled in as I gave up and went to bed . Last thought in my head before lights out ? Tackling that computer in the morning . AND that was Day Three .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Day Two
ay Two
Sunday :
The morning set the tone for the rest of the day . A fellow teacher was a no-show for Sunday School , the older children were a little more energetic than usual and I woke up with a bad attitude . It was hectic , chaotic and fraught with stress .
I couldn't shake that mood no matter how much I tried . It followed me around for the rest of the day like a bad shadow .I was unhappy with everything that came my way . What a terrible way to spend the Lord's Sabbath .
As the day unfolded , the devil took hold of me and went to town , not letting go . . . . . but just like when I went down into the Baptismal water , I came up filled with the spirit . That spirit lives inside of me and whenever I stray , he pulls me back from the dark side so I never slip back into the darkness for long .
When night came , all the dirt of that horrible day left me . It was definitely time to turn this vacay around . Taking pen to paper , a list was made for each day left . Tomorrow is a brand new day . ....a new beginning ....a new chance to make up for today .
Time is so important to me and here I am wasting it on useless and unwanted behavior . If I go on like this , this sense of renewal will never happen . Come tomorrow morning , a whole new me will emerge from her slumber .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Day One
Day One
Saturday :
The first day of my long awaited time off from work . Too bad that I spent most of the the day sleeping . When you work on third shift . . . . that's just how it is .
I have huge plans for this vacation . I won't be spending it laying on a beach somewhere or in a hotel room . There really won't be much time to sit around with my feet up .
This week , I will spend time clearing up not just the clutter in my apartment , but also in my mind . I feel so tired and so very drained both physically and spiritually . Never have I felt such a burnout . All I want to do is sit and do nothing .
I know that part of it has to do with the affects of chemo . Chemotherapy affects my thyroid in a negative way . Usually , I need more sleep , at times , I even take extra naps . The longer you have been on chemo , the more tired your body becomes . After a certain period , I know my thyroid will regulate itself again .
So today , I do absolutely nothing . I take out my crocheting , my shows and a glass of wine and just do nothing . The apartment is quiet , with Emily having dinner with her adopted family . The day goes quickly and I float with it . This is the first day.
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Old Barns And Me
Since my cancer , I have struggled with my body image . Cancer takes so much away from you . A person loses their hair , their lashes and their eyebrows . These things are the obvious losses that everyone associates with cancer , but what about the other things that aren't a standout .
A person with cancer can gain a lot of weight from all the steroids , like I did . Majority of the people I have encountered also had to deal with arthritis in their legs . Cancer treatment can affect our organs and other parts of our bodies . Some people are prone to blood clots or develop a thyroid .
Either way , cancer takes a lot from a person and that usually means we change not only on the inside , but also on the outside . I no longer remember the person I looked like before this cancer and I've had difficult time accepting the person I see in the mirror . How is that for irony ?
As I watched this video below , I thought of myself and the struggles I've had with acceptance of my weight . What was will never be again . I can see that now . So I should put away the mirrors and just remember the image of my old self in my head . Just like the old barns out there , I still have my use , even if a little wider . :)
Double click , please .
http://www.youtube.com/embed/J8Ioa1gVVeA?showinfo=0&rel=0
A person with cancer can gain a lot of weight from all the steroids , like I did . Majority of the people I have encountered also had to deal with arthritis in their legs . Cancer treatment can affect our organs and other parts of our bodies . Some people are prone to blood clots or develop a thyroid .
Either way , cancer takes a lot from a person and that usually means we change not only on the inside , but also on the outside . I no longer remember the person I looked like before this cancer and I've had difficult time accepting the person I see in the mirror . How is that for irony ?
As I watched this video below , I thought of myself and the struggles I've had with acceptance of my weight . What was will never be again . I can see that now . So I should put away the mirrors and just remember the image of my old self in my head . Just like the old barns out there , I still have my use , even if a little wider . :)
Double click , please .
http://www.youtube.com/embed/J8Ioa1gVVeA?showinfo=0&rel=0
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Thought Collection
Hello everyone ,
Today's story will be featured on Though Collection Publishing . The link is below . Have a Blessed day everyone and I hope you enjoy your weekend .
http://www.thoughtnotebook.org/anm/artbase/?a=129&z=1
Today's story will be featured on Though Collection Publishing . The link is below . Have a Blessed day everyone and I hope you enjoy your weekend .
http://www.thoughtnotebook.org/anm/artbase/?a=129&z=1
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
ERROR , ERROR
It has been a month of flashing signals strewn across my path , screaming " ERROR , ERROR " right back at me . Some say it has been related to the sudden weather changes , the storms that seemed to ravage the earth , but I believe otherwise .
Signals appear to provide a warning that something is not right . Perhaps . . . .
The car signals flash across the panel whether it is the " check engine light " or " car door open " , each alerting us to stop and take notice .
The computer screen continues to " buffer " or an " error " appears , informing you that your " PC data is low " or it's time to delete your cookies .
A message appears on your television informing you of cable being disconnected or to refresh the signal . Perhaps , a payment is past due ?
Warning lights flashing everywhere . I've experienced all of these this past month . I wonder if there's more to it than meets the eye ? Even now , as I try to write this blog , my computer decides to act up and refuses to save .
What happens when we ignore these warning signs ? The car breaks down or we have an accident . The computer crashes or needs to be repaired . The cables goes out and suddenly we don't know what to do with ourselves .
Warnings , signals and errors . What do they mean here ? I think it's time to listen and take heed .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Signals appear to provide a warning that something is not right . Perhaps . . . .
The car signals flash across the panel whether it is the " check engine light " or " car door open " , each alerting us to stop and take notice .
The computer screen continues to " buffer " or an " error " appears , informing you that your " PC data is low " or it's time to delete your cookies .
A message appears on your television informing you of cable being disconnected or to refresh the signal . Perhaps , a payment is past due ?
Warning lights flashing everywhere . I've experienced all of these this past month . I wonder if there's more to it than meets the eye ? Even now , as I try to write this blog , my computer decides to act up and refuses to save .
What happens when we ignore these warning signs ? The car breaks down or we have an accident . The computer crashes or needs to be repaired . The cables goes out and suddenly we don't know what to do with ourselves .
Warnings , signals and errors . What do they mean here ? I think it's time to listen and take heed .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Monday, November 18, 2013
Temptation
I could have sat there all day .
I stare at the scene above with longing .
The tranquility of that scene , a lure from the everyday mundane responsibilities that I find so overwhelming . I yearn for a change and it can't come fast enough for me .
Reality brings me back to the messes of my cluttered apartment , the over-scheduling of all my responsibilities and the too tired attitude of a weary body .
The changes at work have brought a renewal and a rebirth within me that I wasn't aware lay dormant . Escape is so appealing right now . Don't we all wish we could just jump into our cars and drive wherever the road may take us far away from it all ?
The temptation . . . . . the lure . . . of leaving it all behind . Who hasn't felt the pull of it ? None of us are exempt . We may not be able to physically act it out , but we can visit there in our dreams .
Have a Blessed day everyone and keep dreaming of your special place .
Sunday, November 17, 2013
My Cup Half-Filled
We always feel like we can accomplish everything we set out to do . We can make a list of chores , errands or even a bucket list and assume that it will be done sooner or later . In reality , most of our expectations are not realistic ones . If you are anything like me , you load your plate very high and only consume half . By the time we get to the other half , it's already spoiled or unappealing , losing it's charm .
I find myself in this situation over and over again . How many times can a person start over ? As many times as they have to . So , I'm redecorating a little , making room for some things and letting go of others . Cleaning out my closets and sometimes even coming out of the closet if need be .
Things haven't been turning out quite the way I have expected , but we adjust to whatever God has in store for us . Didn't I just pray " Let Your will be done " ? So here I am . . . . very tired and disappointed in that will , but I know it is the right thing for me .
The following poem I received from a mentor of mine , Barb Snodgrass . She somehow always seems to know what I need to hear at a precise moment in my life . Hope you enjoy it , too .
Drinking from my saucer I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow
And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Haven't got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough
But I've got loving ones all around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank GOD for his Blessings,
and the Mercies HE's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.
So LORD, help me not to gripe,
about the tough rows I have hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
If GOD gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already Blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads..
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Have a Blessed day everyone .
I find myself in this situation over and over again . How many times can a person start over ? As many times as they have to . So , I'm redecorating a little , making room for some things and letting go of others . Cleaning out my closets and sometimes even coming out of the closet if need be .
Things haven't been turning out quite the way I have expected , but we adjust to whatever God has in store for us . Didn't I just pray " Let Your will be done " ? So here I am . . . . very tired and disappointed in that will , but I know it is the right thing for me .
The following poem I received from a mentor of mine , Barb Snodgrass . She somehow always seems to know what I need to hear at a precise moment in my life . Hope you enjoy it , too .
Drinking from my saucer I've never made a fortune, and it's probably too late now.
But I don't worry about that much, I'm happy anyhow
And as I go along life's way,
I'm reaping better than I sowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Haven't got a lot of riches,
and sometimes the going's tough
But I've got loving ones all around me,
and that makes me rich enough.
I thank GOD for his Blessings,
and the Mercies HE's bestowed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
I remember times when things went wrong,
My faith wore somewhat thin.
But all at once the dark clouds broke,
and the sun peeped through again.
So LORD, help me not to gripe,
about the tough rows I have hoed.
I'm drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
If GOD gives me strength and courage,
When the way grows steep and rough.
I'll not ask for other blessings,
I'm already Blessed enough.
And may I never be too busy,
to help others bear their loads..
Then I'll keep drinking from my saucer,
'Cause my cup has overflowed.
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Friday, November 15, 2013
The Written Word
I never knew there was a writer inside of me waiting to burst forth until a re-occurrence of my cancer . Most people begin their writing career with a notebook and a pen , jotting down random thoughts of significance throughout the day . Not me , I began with a blog .
What started out as a diary , quickly turned into a therapeutic exercise of placing pen to paper all the pent up emotions of life with cancer . What I couldn't express to others verbally , came pouring out like the explosion of floodgates long guarded .
The written word became a healing process without my being aware of it . When or how , I'm not exactly sure , but it has helped me shed the layers of pity and anger that so easily could have enveloped me .
The written word holds much power scrolled with the mighty pen of real emotion . Why did it take almost half my life to realize a passion long hidden inside of me ? Could it be I needed to gain experience to voice my pain , my joy and my desires ?
Maybe , but I believe the real reason happens to be time . There is more of it now than in my younger years . During those years , my passion for writing lay hidden and dormant while life was spent changing smelly diapers , washing dirty little faces and countless hours of evening homework .
Nowadays , I can only dream of running away to a cabin in the woods by a lake where I can sit on the front porch , sipping wine and allowing nature to become my muse as I pen the written word . Perhaps a novel ? Just like in the movies , eh ?
As I sit here , a woman fast approaching fifty , I count myself fortunate to have found a passion to indulge in during my latter years . A passion and a joy that truly defines who I have become . All due to the power of the written word .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Simply Food
Ever since I was a little girl , food played a huge role in my life . I was not a skinny child nor was I overweight , but somewhere in the middle . Coming from the old country into the U.S. , meant my mom made homemade cheese ,
pasta , jam and bread on a daily basis . We ate well , but I never appreciated it . All I wanted was pizza , canned spaghetti and a peanut butter sandwich with a twinkie for dessert . I wanted to eat like an American .
When I had my children and became a housewife , I was introduced to a variety of foods from all walks of life . Our house was the center of familial dinners for holidays and birthdays . During those years , I learned how to garden , cook and can goods .
Next came being a single parent and that changed everything in my life . Dinners weren't as elaborate , but they were a lot more fun with picnics on the living room floor and breakfast pancakes for dinner . Money was scarce as well as time . . . . mom had to work . To compensate for the lack of things and for a lack of a family unit , Friday night pizza became the norm .
Food took a drastic turn when I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in my early forties . No matter what I ate , chemotherapy produced a metallic aftertaste . As I battled nausea , saltine crackers became the best thing I ever ate , and once again , food changed everything .
Nowadays , my life involves eating healthy with a lot more fruits and veggies . Food has done a complete 360 degrees since I came to this country at the age of seven . I can feel the difference health-wise whenever I fall off the wagon and binge .
Food plays such a significance role in our life . Not only does it supplement a need for nourishment for our bodies , but it offers comfort and it becomes a social link to forming relationships .
What we eat doesn't matter , since we can go from delicacy to necessity and still have a sense of togetherness with our loved ones . So let's break bread together .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Life's Changes
I've been feeling tired lately , none of it making much sense since I'm taking a sabbatical from my chemo treatment . Shouldn't I be feeling the opposite ? Everyone's first instincts would be that I need more rest and I probably do , but I believe it's my schedule .
I think that as we experience different stages in our life , we create a schedule that best accommodates our lifestyle . That schedule may work for us for a few months or even years . For me , the schedule I have been living for the past six years is not working any longer .
I have been working second and third shift for 18 years now and it has been a perfect setting for any personal activities that I've been involved in during that time . Now I find myself scrambling from one activity to the next , barely finding the time to do it all . Time is very precious to me and I just don't have enough of it .
An opportunity has risen for me to go to first shift and I cannot wait for this change to happen . I may be losing the 10 % differential , but I will be gaining so much more in precious time and in precious sleep .
Over the last couple of years , I have made many schedules and wrote about them here on this blog . They may have worked like a charm in the beginning , but as time went on , they were difficult to maintain . The results usually showed days of missing blogs , a messy apartment , missing appointments and playing catch up .
Sometimes , we need to make necessary life changes so we can serve the people in our life better . I am no good to anyone if I'm too tired to be the best I can be and that means I may have to say no at times .
The problem here may be in the form of having to wait for these changes to be implemented . Since I am the Area Lead at work , I may be the last person to actually go to my appointed shift . That would mean waiting until next May and that would not be cool at all .
Until then my friends , I am tired and it's beginning to show . Have a Blessed day everyone .
I think that as we experience different stages in our life , we create a schedule that best accommodates our lifestyle . That schedule may work for us for a few months or even years . For me , the schedule I have been living for the past six years is not working any longer .
I have been working second and third shift for 18 years now and it has been a perfect setting for any personal activities that I've been involved in during that time . Now I find myself scrambling from one activity to the next , barely finding the time to do it all . Time is very precious to me and I just don't have enough of it .
An opportunity has risen for me to go to first shift and I cannot wait for this change to happen . I may be losing the 10 % differential , but I will be gaining so much more in precious time and in precious sleep .
Over the last couple of years , I have made many schedules and wrote about them here on this blog . They may have worked like a charm in the beginning , but as time went on , they were difficult to maintain . The results usually showed days of missing blogs , a messy apartment , missing appointments and playing catch up .
Sometimes , we need to make necessary life changes so we can serve the people in our life better . I am no good to anyone if I'm too tired to be the best I can be and that means I may have to say no at times .
The problem here may be in the form of having to wait for these changes to be implemented . Since I am the Area Lead at work , I may be the last person to actually go to my appointed shift . That would mean waiting until next May and that would not be cool at all .
Until then my friends , I am tired and it's beginning to show . Have a Blessed day everyone .
Thursday, November 7, 2013
Messes Of The Past
You want to know what she will look like older , look at her
mother .
OR
You want to see what she is like , look at her mother .
We end up being just like our mom , whether we like it or not . As young women , we set out into the world full of high hopes and dreams , vowing not to end up like our moms . We love our moms , but we will not be doormats for others to trod upon . We will be different . Our moms are too nice and forgiving and they will not stand up for themselves . Well , we will not be anything like them .
Sounds familiar ? The fact is , we become them because our moms feel and love us . They are not doormats , but they would do anything for us . It's only natural for us to end up like our moms since they are our first introduction into the world and into how things are done .
Our childhoods shape how we interact with others , the relationships we will have , how we deal with our emotions and how we keep our home .
If it's a childhood with pleasant memories or not , we go in two directions . Either we become exactly like our moms or directly the opposite .
Many times I've visited the home of a friend's parent and although , the style and decor may not always be similar , the housekeeping usually is the same . We learn how to cook and keep our home in order from our mom .
There are three of us , my two brothers and I , each of us with a different approach to cleaning . My older brother is a spotless person with not a speck of dirt anywhere to be found , even though he would disagree with you regarding that fact . The rest of us are just like our mom , casual housekeepers who do the usual round of chores , but you will find dishes in the sink or a load of laundry .
Now that my mom is living alone , her apartment is spotless , nothing out of place . That's because she is only one person and she spends one day a week making sure it stays clean .
I often wonder , if that will happen for me . The older I become , the more I do the things that make me happy . You could say , I'm living out my dreams . The last thing I want to do is housework . Will I ever be free of the chains of housework ?
If we become our mothers , then all I have to do is look to her for that answer .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
mother .
OR
You want to see what she is like , look at her mother .
We end up being just like our mom , whether we like it or not . As young women , we set out into the world full of high hopes and dreams , vowing not to end up like our moms . We love our moms , but we will not be doormats for others to trod upon . We will be different . Our moms are too nice and forgiving and they will not stand up for themselves . Well , we will not be anything like them .
Sounds familiar ? The fact is , we become them because our moms feel and love us . They are not doormats , but they would do anything for us . It's only natural for us to end up like our moms since they are our first introduction into the world and into how things are done .
Our childhoods shape how we interact with others , the relationships we will have , how we deal with our emotions and how we keep our home .
If it's a childhood with pleasant memories or not , we go in two directions . Either we become exactly like our moms or directly the opposite .
Many times I've visited the home of a friend's parent and although , the style and decor may not always be similar , the housekeeping usually is the same . We learn how to cook and keep our home in order from our mom .
There are three of us , my two brothers and I , each of us with a different approach to cleaning . My older brother is a spotless person with not a speck of dirt anywhere to be found , even though he would disagree with you regarding that fact . The rest of us are just like our mom , casual housekeepers who do the usual round of chores , but you will find dishes in the sink or a load of laundry .
Now that my mom is living alone , her apartment is spotless , nothing out of place . That's because she is only one person and she spends one day a week making sure it stays clean .
I often wonder , if that will happen for me . The older I become , the more I do the things that make me happy . You could say , I'm living out my dreams . The last thing I want to do is housework . Will I ever be free of the chains of housework ?
If we become our mothers , then all I have to do is look to her for that answer .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Living Among The Clutter
There is nothing more that I detest than clutter . Right now , it seems I'm living in the midst of it , feeling suffocated . I'm constantly tripping over things or moving things from one corner to the next .
Right above and below us lives a family of four and somehow they fit all of their things without the clutter feeling . There is only the two of us , why can't we do the same ?
We have too much stuff ! Storage around here is certainly a problem . Some of these things we have held on to for years
( like VHS tapes ) hoping it will come back into style ? !
I know myself very well and I know this stifling and suffocating feeling I have been experiencing has nothing to do with my apartment as much as my life . For whatever reason I'm carrying these feelings around , it's time to do something about them , even if that means a cleaning overhaul .
So I'm planning a remodel . Furniture will be moved . Things will be discarded . New things might even take their place . Cupboards will be cleaned out and the cabinets polished , but the real work needs to take place on the inside .
I am the clutter-er and I can keep doing the above mentioned over and over again , but it just keeps going back to the same thing . It's not the apartment or lack of storage , it's the person creating the clutter . So let's clean out those cobwebs and see what we will find .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Right above and below us lives a family of four and somehow they fit all of their things without the clutter feeling . There is only the two of us , why can't we do the same ?
We have too much stuff ! Storage around here is certainly a problem . Some of these things we have held on to for years
( like VHS tapes ) hoping it will come back into style ? !
I know myself very well and I know this stifling and suffocating feeling I have been experiencing has nothing to do with my apartment as much as my life . For whatever reason I'm carrying these feelings around , it's time to do something about them , even if that means a cleaning overhaul .
So I'm planning a remodel . Furniture will be moved . Things will be discarded . New things might even take their place . Cupboards will be cleaned out and the cabinets polished , but the real work needs to take place on the inside .
I am the clutter-er and I can keep doing the above mentioned over and over again , but it just keeps going back to the same thing . It's not the apartment or lack of storage , it's the person creating the clutter . So let's clean out those cobwebs and see what we will find .
Have a Blessed day everyone .
Sunday, November 3, 2013
A Sort Of Update
I've seen better days ,
but I've also seen worse .
I don't have everything that I want ,
but I do have all I need .
I woke up with some aches and pains ,
but I woke up .
My life may not be perfect ,
but I am Blessed .
I've joined a chronic illness group at church . We've only met a few times since we all are sick most of the time . I've never been one to sit in a circle and get all touchy feely with my emotions especially when it came to the crying part . I deal with situations a little differently . I may have a pity party going on for a couple of days , but I always pick myself up regardless of how I feel mentally . I may have a difficult time accepting how much weight I have
gained , but I move on with it . I can't take a " woe is me " kind of
attitude .
Spending time with children
is more important than
spending money on children .
I have to be honest with you . . . . . I have been experiencing great jealousy regarding my grandkids . This year , we just haven't been able to get together as much as we normally do . . . . hence the jealousy of everyone else who had the opportunity to do so .
One day , while flicking through facebook , I encounter a picture of my grandchildren posing with Aubrey's dad and his wife . Here they were smiling and hugging my kids . . . . and these kids were loving it . I turned to Emily and said :
" Who are these people with my babies ? ! "
" Those are the real grandparents , mom ."
And how was your week ?
Have a Blessed day everyone .
but I've also seen worse .
I don't have everything that I want ,
but I do have all I need .
I woke up with some aches and pains ,
but I woke up .
My life may not be perfect ,
but I am Blessed .
I've joined a chronic illness group at church . We've only met a few times since we all are sick most of the time . I've never been one to sit in a circle and get all touchy feely with my emotions especially when it came to the crying part . I deal with situations a little differently . I may have a pity party going on for a couple of days , but I always pick myself up regardless of how I feel mentally . I may have a difficult time accepting how much weight I have
gained , but I move on with it . I can't take a " woe is me " kind of
attitude .
Spending time with children
is more important than
spending money on children .
I have to be honest with you . . . . . I have been experiencing great jealousy regarding my grandkids . This year , we just haven't been able to get together as much as we normally do . . . . hence the jealousy of everyone else who had the opportunity to do so .
One day , while flicking through facebook , I encounter a picture of my grandchildren posing with Aubrey's dad and his wife . Here they were smiling and hugging my kids . . . . and these kids were loving it . I turned to Emily and said :
" Who are these people with my babies ? ! "
" Those are the real grandparents , mom ."
And how was your week ?
Have a Blessed day everyone .
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