Last night , driving home from a wake/service of a friend's father , I ran a red light and smashed into a car . I don't know how it happened or why . It happened . Thankfully no one was hurt . It could have been a very serious accident that I caused .
I have to say that both the driver I hit and the policeman that showed up were extremely nice to me . I have seen some nasty fights concerning the people involved in an accident . I didn't lie but told the absolute truth . I was the cause of this accident and I was very sorry . Still am .
The adrenaline didn't kick in until it was time to drive my broken down car home . My brakes were shot and there were noises coming from my car that scared me as I drove . My hands started to shake and I started crying . Emily took over and became the strong , supported one telling me that everything would be okay .
Amazingly , my car wasn't damaged greatly on the outside . I , on the other hand , am not in great shape at all . Inside , I feel terrible . All I can think about is all the trouble I caused not just for myself but to this poor man I hit .
Since I work nights , my not being at the funeral would have been understood and yet . . . . I persisted in going . I went as far as to make special arrangements with my supervisor in coming in 2 hours later so I could be at this funeral .
I normally use a different route but at the last moment decided to take this one instead . Why ? I never go this way .
Emily never comes with me to these things and yet she did this time .
Emily kept saying we were meant to be here at this spot at this exact time . This was meant to happen. We just don't realize the why yet .
Right now , I'm beating myself up . I haven't had an accident in 12 years . My mind is in turmoil . How badly is my car in need of repair ? How am I going to get to work and back ? What if it goes totally bad in court with the other party ? Nothing but fearful questions .
I quickly pull out my prayer journal and pray . Please pray with me .
Your story reminds me of a very bad accident I had many years ago on the way to the hospital to see my daughter who was 6 months pregnant with her first child when she had an epileptic seizure in the doctor's office. I was so shaken and distracted, I'm sure that's what caused the accident. But God was with me and saw me through. I was badly shaken, as you are Lottie. But God was with me and saw me through. So many times, I've blown it, been the cause of the "accident", wondered how I got in the mess I was in. But God was with me and saw me through. In the end, that is what I remember most... You are in my heart and in my prayers, dear friend. He is with you and He will see you through...
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