Lost In My Thoughts

  

             Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Thy secret judgment's depths profound

    Still sings the silent night;
  The day, upon his golden round,
    Thy pity infinite.
I. WILLIAMS. Tr. from Latin

It was a lazy day today. I awakened very early way before the Sun came up and yet, I didn't get up until hours later. I had no energy, no sense of urgency of any kind. All I wanted was to stay in doing absolutely nothing.

All day long, I moved slowly, lost in my own thoughts. Sometimes, we live more in our heads than in the surroundings around us. We keep going back to days of old, whether good or bad has no significance. We keep replaying events in our minds from years ago. Remembering. Reminiscing. Reliving.

I love these quiet days, because we need to remember and process the daily occurrences in our life. We rush around so much from work to stores to activities as if we were on fire. The days . . . . they just pass by so quickly. What happened to this month? This year?

I moved throughout my day dressed in mismatched, comfy clothes secretly hoping no one comes a knocking. Could I freeze this day until further notice? Could I pull it out of my pocket whenever I needed a refresher? A peace fix?

There are times where I could sit still, sipping my coffee or tea, staring at the wall completely at peace. Does that sound insane? Does our mind need to be thinking all the time? Can we just sit still and be?

 It is so relaxing to take in all the sounds around us. The birds singing outside. The coffee machine perking away as the scent of fresh coffee fills the air. The sound of a lawn mower in the distance. One could close their eyes and imagine a scene without any words at all. 

Solitude. Silence. Thoughts. It can be so relaxing to do absolutely nothing, but take in the world around us. My late grandma Bernice often would sit outside for hours just watching and listening. I so understand now the why. The reasoning behind it. Oh, how we need days such as this one. Bask in them. Embrace them for they are so rare.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Simply Grace

                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

 It is not happiness I seek,

Its name I hardly dare to speak;
It is not made for man or earth,
And Heaven alone can give it birth.

There is a something sweet and pure,
Through life, through death it may endure;
With steady foot I onward press,
And long to win that Blessedness.
LOUISA J. HALL.

It's been a good month since my oncologist visit and I still am in a bit of a shock. Don't misunderstand me. The results couldn't be better. In fact, they were the best news I have had since being diagnosed 14 years ago. I am fast approaching the longest remission to date. Yes, my remission.

What does one do with that fact? All I have known for over a decade are tests, treatments and more tests and more treatments. This? This is something totally new and I don't know how to process it.

All of a sudden, I have become a survivor. Another bend in the road. Another journey to explore and learn. Perhaps another role to play? Another something.

In a way, I feel naked and vulnerable. This is all I know. It has taken me that long to find out who I was and who I was meant to be. I stare in the mirror and ask what now? Since then, I have built up a blog, a Ministry, a purpose. Does all of this just dissolve, because the cancer is not here? 

When I found out that I had cancer, I never asked God the why. I always thought I wasn't worthy to ask Him the why. Fourteen years later and I still feel the same. I know it's very hard for people to understand, but I have made numerous bad decisions in my life. The fact that He gave me a second chance, His Grace was bestowed on me, but I never deserved it. I accepted my condition long ago, so the why never mattered.

I have no idea what my new path will lead to in my life. God must have some sort of plan for me that I yet have to discover. God's Grace has no boundaries, no limits and for that, I am very grateful. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

A Quiet In The Storm

 

                                Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

Oh, dream no more of quiet life;

Care finds the careless out; more wise to vow
Thy heart entire to faith's pure strife;
So peace will come, thou knowest not when or how.
LYRA APOSTOLICA

We have a family of ducks at work that have been sort of adopted by the facility. We feed them and kind of watch over them. One night, while we were going through several days of storms, I took a peek outside to check on the weather. Pouring rain, lightening flashing! The area looked a bit flooded. Right in the middle of that flood were the ducks splashing about, wings flapping and quacking away as loudly as they could. They were having a ball!

They did not care about the storm that was raging, they were filled with enjoyment of the special gift given to them. 

I stopped and watched them frolic with complete Joy, completely unaware and uncaring at what was going on around them. Oh, to be more like them. Not afraid. Not worried. No anxiety. No, they were living life! 

I have struggled with all three for majority of my life. Fear kept me from boldly living and experiencing all life had to offer. I worried about yesterday, the present and mostly the future, even though many of these things didn't even occur. Anxiety? I would be strung up that I couldn't sleep or eat whenever some new experience came my way. I filled my mind with why, what if, could be, might happen. Worse case scenarios played out regularly in my thoughts and upset stomachs were the norm. 

What did any of that get me? Only cancer. 

Whenever I say that having cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me, well, people look at me weird. How could that be? It changed the importance of my priorities. The people I love and care about vs. immaterial things. I want to live the life of those ducks amidst the storm. It's not easy to do, but it is definitely worth the try. My past was filled with fear trumping faith, Now, faith trumps fear. worry and anxiety. I will keep on trying until I get it right and so should you. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Just Breathe

                        Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Lord, I my vows to Thee renew;

Disperse my sins as morning dew;
Guard my first springs of thought and will,
And with Thyself my spirit fill.
THOMAS KEN.

Time is a precious thing. We cannot get time back whenever we waste it. Working in a senior facility, I often hear the regret in their lives, the missed opportunities and the lack of forgiveness of past hurts. So many regrets all because we lacked judgment of prioritizing what was important.

I have to constantly remind myself to stop and smell the roses or look up at the beautiful sky to admire the handiwork of God. Believe it or not, it's quite hard for me. I fill my plate to hold as much as it can. It's how I am built, but I do understand the importance of resting and being present in the moment.

Finding that perfect balance where we can just breathe is difficult. We face so many stressful situations in just our daily life. There is an aura in the air of busyness, an on the go lifestyle. Social media runs our life where we see people living the life we always wanted or it may just seem like it. Behind that picture lies a whole other kind of story. We see that post and think we need to be just as active. Social media traps us every time.

So how do I find that balance? Honestly, I struggle like the rest of you. In my mind, I have an entirely different scene of how I think my life plays out. Oh yes, I sit on that porch or patio drinking in the morning sunshine as I sip my coffee. I turn my face upwards to feel the warmth of the day. Breathe. Just breathe.

It's all a lie. It's a rare day indeed that I can live out that fantasy. My days are too full with stuff, just plain ole stuff. Oh, I find excuses to explain myself as well. Yet, I yearn for that porch, that warmth. Oh, how I yearn!

When that moment comes, I breathe in all that sunshine around me. I close my eyes and take a deep, deep breath, exhaling as I open them once more. Life is good. God is good. Just don't forget to breathe.

Have a blessed day everyone.

A Prism Promise

                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.

 Look thou with pity on a brother's fall,

But dwell not with stern anger on his fault;
The grace of God alone holds thee, holds all;
Were that withdrawn, thou too wouldst swerve and halt.
J. EDMESTON.

The morning started out in a rush as usual. I slept in more than I wanted to and now I was running a bit late. Running down the stairs, I stopped midway to admire all the tiny prisms scattered upon the walls and stairs. The Sun was rising and streaming through the glass stained door creating these beautiful tiny promises of God. 

A memory flashed before me from one year ago. We were moving in and I could feel the excitement, the gratitude of being here. I remember it so well, that emotion of having finally made it, a dream come true. 

It has been wonderful living here as if we have done so all of our lives. Yet, it would be immature and unrealistic to say there weren't any upsets. Life is life, affecting us in both negative and positive ways. 

Sometimes we need reminders to how much we are loved! We tend to forget all the wonderful moments we have experienced and we tend to focus on all the wrong things going on in our lives. That prism, that tiny promise, of all the blessings I have experienced along the way. Don't let me forget. Thank you Jesus for all that you do for me.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

A Divine Appointment

 

                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

On the great love of God I lean,

Love of the Infinite, Unseen,
With nought of heaven or earth between.
This God is mine, and I am His;
His love is all I need of bliss.
H. BONAR

People often ask me about the start of my Ministry. They have so many questions, but little do they know, I never planned on leading a crocheting Ministry. It just happened. Honestly, my number one answer is always that it's not my Ministry, but God's. Let me tell you, everyone looks at me like I'm crazy whenever I say that. Yet, it's true.

Do you believe in a divine appointment?

A divine appointment is a special meeting, an unforeseen connection, a significant opportunity that God sets up in your day through His providential guidance. It is a situation when and where the Lord gives you a unique moment to share His love with others or be a blessing to someone. It is God breaking into your world to use you, encourage you or give you a key relationship link for the future.

Dale O'Shields.

Back in 2013, I had a divine appointment with God. He had a mission, a purpose for me to fulfill. There were a group of young women in our Church who wanted to learn how to crochet and they approached me for lessons. Little did I know that God would use that setting to place an idea in my head to form a Ministry in helping others through crochet.

I didn't know what I was doing. I was just heading out in whatever direction He set out for me. I would sit and crochet with these young women silently asking God what are we going to do with all these items? Then someone would approach me with a need somewhere for hats and scarves or blankets. It just grew and grew and grew.

Many young and senior ladies went through the Ministry. There were a few men as well, but wish to remain anonymous. A little embarrassed, I think, in looking not very masculine as they crocheted. 

The Ministry went through many changes as well. Some good, some not. It's very hard to believe that we will be celebrating eight years this coming August. I had a saying that we would continue on as long as God provided the yarn and He has. We had some lean years where I thought we might have to close the Ministry, but He provided just enough to finish strong every year. 

God truly has a purpose for all of us. I know, I know, that sounded a bit "churchy" and yet, it's true. I never planned this and yet it landed on my lap. One only has to open their heart, their ears and their eyes to what God has waiting for them. Not all of us are willing to do that. You don't want to miss your divine appointment. It might just change your life for the better. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

Good Morning!

 

                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Oh, give Thy servant patience to be still,

And bear Thy will;
Courage to venture wholly on the arm
That will not harm;
The wisdom that will never let me stray
Out of my way;
The love, that, now afflicting, knoweth best
When I should rest.
J. M. NEALE.

Good morning! 

Ever have that rested feeling upon waking? The feeling that you slept peacefully and deeply? These kind of mornings are rare, aren't they? One must enjoy them when we can.

There is something about Summer that brings on many of these types of mornings. Is it the birds singing? The perfect temperatures in the predawn hours? Perhaps that glorious Sun providing that energizing vitamin that we so badly need?

Whatever it may be, we need more mornings such as these. Life has become so hectic and so very stressful. We cannot turn on the news or our phones without some negativity pouring out. There is always someone who has been offended by something. It is no longer proper to exercise self control or tact. One can say whatever one is feeling without any thought involved to the consequences. 

I have to watch myself very carefully not to get involved in any of that. I didn't move out of the city to participate in the negativity or the drama. Peace and happiness is vital to my well being. It should be to yours as well. We have a lot invested in how we deal with life. For every action there is a consequence, a reaction. Do you want that reaction to be a good one or a bad one? Life is a choice, so make sure you make the right one. 

I'm not trying to sound all preachy or as if I know it all, but I have made way too many of the wrong choices. Those days are gone! Nowadays, I think things through to death. Don't even try to rush me, lol. I want to enjoy the rest of my life however long that may be!

Have a blessed day everyone.