November Days

                                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey. 

Happy the man, and happy he alone,

Who can call to-day his own:

He who, secure within, can say,

"To-morrow, do thy worst, for I have lived to-day."

--John Dryden.

November has always been a great time of the year for me. I've always saved up as much of vacation as I could all year round just for this time. My week off usually consisted of spending time in my writing and catching up. I've always looked to this, because no matter what I was doing, it was done in a relaxing way.

This time around, it really didn't happen. I've had quite a bit of running errands to take care of and family came visiting. For the first time in years, it actually felt like a Holiday. You see, the family has always gone to the in-laws during Thanksgiving so none of us really had dinner together. Emily and I would have our Tofurkey spending the day watching movies. 

All of this togetherness, has me feeling pensive. It must have to do with the fact the year is ending and a new one is fast approaching. I've been mulling things over in my head about the past year. This is quite normal for me for this time of year, because I like to reflect on what worked and what didn't. 

I've also joined a Women's Bible study and to my surprise, barely kept up with everyone else. My concentration level was off big time. I would start well and finish poorly. Of course, that led to even more thinking on my part about what I really want to be doing in the New Year. What do I really want to change and what do I want to keep? More on this in future blog posts. 

Here's something truly crazy. I want a Christmas Tree. We haven't had a tree for a very long, long time. Diamond has a problem with the tree. She will not leave it alone, nibbling on all the decorations and knocking them off. What kind of cat eats tinsel, for heaven's sake?! She won't leave the lights alone. I have this image in my head of her getting electrocuted by Christmas lights!

I've been looking around for a small one like 3 to 4 feet tall that has lights already on it. I think we can get away with something like that. I told you, I'm feeling pensive this month. As I look out our living room window into the courtyard, I can see all my neighbors Christmas trees all lit up. I want a tree for Christmas.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for the warmth of my apartment since it has gotten very cold outside.

A Toxic Friendship

                                                            Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



Let thy day be to the night
A letter of good tidings! Let thy praise
Go up as birds go up--that when they awake,
Shake off the dew and soar.
--Jean Ingelow.



I think we all have had toxic relationships whether they were intimate or casual friendships. I've had both. One of my main concerns and struggles have been in maintaining a personal relationship with women my age. For some reason, they may begin well, but they never end well, especially if they're married.

The problem is, I think, that I'm a very strong character. I don't need a companion to use the ladies room. I have gone to parties without a date. I can eat in a restaurant all by myself. I am comfortable being all by myself. I've become accustomed to handling things all by myself. 

It's also true that everyone handles struggles differently. There are some people who fall on their knees when trials become evident in their lives. They surround themselves with people who love them. Then there are others who hide from everyone and become a recluse. They stop going to Church or seeing anyone from the Church. 

They seek out people who will tell them what they want to hear. I think we lose more friends that way than we know. We don't want to listen to someone who will tell us what might be wrong with us. It's not us anyway, right? It's the other person's fault. No one wants to acknowledge their part in any bad situation. 

A relationship like that usually ends badly. No one in a struggle wants to see another person thriving. Let's really be honest with one another. There are some of us who feel like that towards our friends. We become a bit envious of their joy while we're suffering in the dumps. Slowly our displeasure turns into a silent anger until finally it boils over into a toxic mix of anger and resentment.

You have got to stop letting that person live rent free in your heart.
Jennifer Lee Dukes

How great is that sentence above? She's so right. We just allow things to get so out of hand. We cannot let go of the hurt that this person inflicted in us. Time can go past and we think we're alright. Suddenly, something can evoke a memory of that toxic relationship and we're off once again. 

Oh, I know how that feels. I've been there and done that. I've literally had to erase all evidence of that person or people from my life just so I could spend at least one day not thinking of the situation. Oh, I know what it is like to have a toxic relationship engulf every fiber of your being. I also know that I have to finally let go. 

It's difficult to accept that someone whom you've trusted and loved could hurt you in such a way, but we learn a valuable lesson in dealing with such trials. We can endure. Yes, we can endure. We can move on. Remember that everyone, nothing lasts forever. Whatever we are going through, we will overcome it and it will leave us. We are never in a corner where we cannot escape or get out of. We will overcome. 

Have a Blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for my little car. It works, it keeps me dry and gets me wherever I need to go. 

Where Is My Heaven?

       

                                                                  Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                  everyday is a journey.




I have learned, as days have passed me,
Fretting never lifts the load;
And worry, much or little,
Never smooths an irksome road;
For do you know that somehow, always,
Doors are opened, ways are made;
When we work and live in patience
Under all the cross that's laid.

--Unknown.

Oh, how I long for Heaven on Earth. A Heaven where peace dwells among every living creature of God. A place where money doesn't exist. People work because they enjoy what they are doing. We all have a purpose in our life and we get to it. 

I often imagine what Heaven will be like. I am comforted by the knowledge that our Lord is preparing a place of peace and sanctity for us. A place where we don't worry about gaining weight or becoming sick. A place where evil doesn't exist, but joy and peace reside. 

When I was young, I was afraid of death. I would seek out fortune tellers, psychics, tarot cards, you name it. I was searching for something that would tell me my life would be fine. My life would be great, a reassurance that my decision making was sound. I could look until the ends of the earth and I would never find that reassurance. Until I gave my life over to Christ. I always believed in God, went to Church regularly, but I never had a relationship with God. There's  a difference. 

Once I realized and accepted that there was a higher being in control of my life, who also watched over me, I began to calm down. I began to rest in Him. Once we know we are safe in someone's arms we can trust, we relax. We know everything will be alright. I feel like that in Christ. My faith is everything to me and I hope that it is to you, too. 

We should not be afraid of dying or going to Heaven. We should be looking forward to that time. Oh, what a glorious time it will be. People may scoff and say, what if it doesn't exist? I rather believe it is than not believe in anything at all. To not have any kind of hope or something to look forward to makes life depressing. How do I want to live out my life? I definitely don't want to be bitter, angry and saddened by life. I want Joy! I want Peace! I want Grace! I want Purpose! How about you?

Have a Blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am so glad to have God in my life.

A Free Morning

                                                                                  Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                                     everyday is a journey.
                                                                    




So do not fear,
 for I am with you; 
do not be dismayed,
 for I am your God. 
I will strengthen you and help you;
 I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 

( Isaiah 41:10)

One of my favorite times is right before I rise out of bed. It's that 30 minutes before when I'm awakened completely and I'm thinking about my day ahead or even further. This morning was no different. I awoke to the sound of cars starting up, light barely streaming through the window. 

So I lay there thinking how all the plans I had for today got cancelled. My Beth Moore Bible study (the last session) was cancelled due to an outbreak of a stomach virus and the Church was being super cleaned. My mom's appointment was also cancelled so I didn't need to get up early to drop her off. Even at work, I was getting out a whole three hours earlier. 

This was simply too good to be true. I had a free morning and evening. Quite unexpected, but a pleasant twist to my day. Eager to jump start my morning, I was up earlier than I have been in a very long time. It didn't matter what I worked on first or last. What mattered is that suddenly I had extra time. Wonderful. 

Every year at this time I have these little projects that people ask me if I could help them with like mending a hole or tear in a favorite crocheted sweater. Just last night, a co-worker asked me if I could make booties for a teddy bear. Sure, no problem. It's funny how the minute people know you can crochet or knit or even sew, they just think you can fix anything like you're an expert. Which I'm not, but they seem to think so all because I can mend simple things.  

I also replenished a pot of chicken noodle soup. My last batch didn't come out as good as I wanted it. I'm not sure why, because I have made this soup since I was a wee girl. My stomach stills hasn't come back to normal, so soup is the way to go.

It's so nice not to have to rush through your morning, because there's a deadline or you have to be somewhere at an appointed time. I'm so grateful for these little tidbits that are thrown our way from time to time. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for the little things in life. 

Things Not To Eat

                                                         Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey




Help us, O Lord, with patient love to bear
Each other's faults, to suffer with true meekness;
Help us each other's joys and griefs to share,
But let us turn to Thee alone in weakness.
ANON.

I was listening to Dr. James Dobson radio program and he was speaking about the foods we need to avoid for good health. There was one or two items on that list that really surprised. 


1. cheese
2. red meat
3. egg yolk
4. milk/cream
5. butter
6. fried food, grease

Have you guessed which two I'm talking about? Cheese and milk/cream. I never even considered that these two were harmful. I mean, milk? Don't we need milk for bone development? Cheese? Are you sure you mean cheese?

For the last ten years, I have been on a quest to live a healthier lifestyle. I am a firm believer in preventive care. My cancer is a re-occurring one and my goal is to make these remissions last as long as possible. If that means giving up certain foods to make that happen, so be it. 

As I've aged, I've noticed how my body reacts to these foods in a most unpleasant way. And I'm not the only one. We end up with stomach aches, acid re-flux, heartburn, cholesterol, irregular bowels etc., just to name a few. Plus, these are just the minor things. Don't forget heart disease and diabetes. 

Now, I'm not a hardcore vegetarian or vegan, but I have changed my eating habits quite drastically. The problem is that I need to go even farther. I need to do this permanently ( that's another upcoming blog) and not cheat occasionally. I will be very good for weeks on end and then I'll cheat to my regret. I say regret, because my body will reject these foods that I've avoided for weeks. Not a very pleasant experience at all. Trust me on that. 

All of this, it seems, is an ongoing journey with food that I've had for the last ten years. I wish I could say I have overcome all my cheating and bingeing, but unfortunately no. I continually struggle avoiding foods that don't agree with me anymore. Although, since my last tummy ache, the consequences are still very real to me. Maybe this time I'll stop?

Have a Blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
I am grateful for water that quenches and eases all my discomforts. 

Today In Church

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                               everyday is a journey.




The tissue of the life to be,
We weave with colors all our own,
And in the field of Destiny
We reap as we have sown.

--Raphael.

It's hard to get up on Sunday mornings. The desire to sleep in a very strong one, but we choose not to, instead opting to go to Church. We need to begin our week right and praising Our Lord definitely fits that bill. 

Today of all days, I wanted to be there early and of course, it didn't happen. I was looking forward to hear our guest speaker Brian Stevenson, a criminal justice lawyer. He spoke on our incarcerated here in Illinois. I love what he said about serving the broken within a broken system in a broken world. 

I have to be honest here, in my Ministry work, I never even considered the prisoners. Not even once. I have read Matthew 25:35-36, but I have never fulfilled the last part of it. 

35 For I was hungry and you gave Me food, I was thirsty and you gave Me drink, I was a stranger and you took Me in. 36 I was naked and you clothed Me, I was sick and you visited Me, I was in prison and you came to Me.’

Before the end of the service, all of us made two Christmas Bags filled with literature and goodies for every incarcerated person in this state. That also included the Juvenile Courts which our children in the Youth Group took care of the day before. 

Now, I know that small gesture is not enough and majority of us will walk away feeling that they have done their part. I know and acknowledge it, but I cannot help feeling that there is so much more that we could do. We could pray for our incarcerated. We could write or send cards to them through our Church. We could make casseroles for the support groups they join after they do get out. We could donate audio tapes of our Sermons. 

You see, I can't help feeling that in a way, I failed as a Christian for not doing something in the past. I am broken, too. I may not have done what they have, but what makes me better in the eyes of the Lord? Why should I expect forgiveness and salvation only for others like me? Isn't it available to everyone? Who am I to decide who is worthy and who isn't? 

It isn't up to me. There are many out there that we never consider outside of Christmas or any other Holiday. There are many that are hurting, broken, lonely, desperate and lost. I could keep going with adjectives, not running out anytime soon. Who am I? There's nothing too dirty, that He cannot make worthy. Look at me.

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S.
The Gratitude Challenge:
Thank you, Jesus for constantly showing me mercy and forgiveness.

Chicken Noodle Soup

                                                                   Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                    everyday is a journey.




So he died by his faith. 
That is fine--
More than the most of us do.
But stay. 
Can you add to that line
That he lived for it too?

It is easy to die. 
Men have died
For a wish or a whim--
From bravado or passion or pride.
Was it hard for him?

But to live: every day to live out
All the truth that he dreamt,
While his friends met his conduct with doubt,
And the world with contempt.

Was it thus that he plodded ahead,
Never turning aside?
Then we'll talk of the life that he led.
Never mind how he died.

--Ernest Crosby.

It's funny how a simple cold or stomach flu can alter your daily routine. Just a little sickness, a day of not feeling well and everything's off. Suddenly, all appointments have to be cancelled. One can barely make it in to work. 

Just the other day, I ate something I shouldn't have (that's another blog post) and became sick. My stomach cramped up and I spent the entire night throwing up my entire day's meals. There's nothing worse than nausea and cramping up. 
Simply awful. The next morning, I laid in bed trying to feel better knowing I had to go into work the very afternoon. I cancelled my shopping trip with mom and stayed in bed until it was time for work. 

Why would I go into work? Well, I could call off if I wanted to, but I already scheduled all my remaining days. I decided to go in and push through. I stopped on my way to work to pick up some saltines and sprite. Did you know it's hard to find saltines nowadays? One almost has to go to Wal-mart or Aldi's to do so. The store shelves are filled with sugary sweets and flavored crackers, not exactly satisfying to a grumbling tummy. I ended up getting a chicken flavored cup of soup and a six pack of sprite. 

Honestly, I'm glad I went in, because if I had stayed home, I would have laid in bed feeling miserable. Instead, I was moving around with my mind on other things and somehow, the night ended and I pushed through. I won't lie, that last hour stretched on forever. 

Right now, I made myself a huge pot of chicken noodle and 
a cup of chamomile tea. I washed all my sheets and blankets from that faithful night. The rest of the weekend will be spent in my comfy clothes, crocheting and Netflix. Everything else has been tossed aside all because of a small sickness that set me back. One small event can wipe out a weekend of scheduled activity. A setback? Yes, but a minor one. I'll be back in full form come Monday morning. 

Have a blessed day everyone.

P.S. 
The Gratitude Challenge:
 I am so grateful for small comforts such as tea and soup.