Seeing The Oncologist

                                             Everyday is a brand new day,
                                             everyday is a journey.



How like a mounting devil in the heart
Rules the unreigned ambition! 
Let it once
But play the monarch, and its haughty brow
Glows with a beauty that bewilders thought
And unthrones peace forever. 
Putting on
The very pomp of Lucifer, 
it turnsThe heart to ashes.

--Nathaniel P. Willis.

I did not want to go for my appointment with my oncologist. I wasn't afraid of what I may hear or anything like that. I'm just exhausted mentally by anyone from the medical profession. Don't get me wrong, I love my doctors. . . . all of them. I'm just worn out from almost ten years of this illness. I really would love some peace from it all. A few years peace to exist like everyone else. 

At first, I made an appointment and ended up rescheduling when the actual day arrived. Not very smart, I know, I just didn't want to drive all that way. I still don't. Moving out here, I have no desire to go into the major city of Chicago. Crazy, right?

Still, I didn't get away scot free. My Oncologist called me, checking up on me. We had a wonderful chat where she re-assured one of my greatest fears. No more radiation for me. I guess one can only have itr once. because of the damage it does to your bowels. Well, thank goodness for that! Some good news after all.


I'm always amazed at all the changes at the clinic. It could be three or more months since my last visit, yet there is always something new. There is always a new staff member or they were moved elsewhere. I never recognize anyone in the waiting room. I often wonder if they think the same of me when they see me. 

I was spared a few things this time around. I didn't have to have labs and I didn't have to speak with an Intern first. I never cared to do that even though I know the importance of it. So far everything seems okay, we'll check again in May. A very nice visit, more of a catchup rather than an actual doctor visit. 

I have to admit, that the drive out there was a bit much in the morning. It must have been, because of morning rush hour. I sat in the "express lane" occassionally moving 3 miles per hour. I don't know how people can take this every single day. Horrible. Just horrible. The drive home was the opposite. 

Overall, everything went well. Let's just keep it that way for now. 

Have a blessed day everyone.