Consider the lilies of the field,
how they grow; they toil not,
neither do they spin:
yet I say unto you, that even
Solomon in all his glory
was not arrayed like one of these.
--Matthew 6. 28, 29.
I didn't want to get up. The bed was comfy, warm and utterly peaceful. Silence all around me. One could hear a pin drop. I knew it was somewhere mid-morning, but I didn't care. Why can't I just lay there and do nothing? Why do I need to get up at all?
Responsibilities, that's why.
The problem is that it's not just today. I have this feeling almost every morning. This feeling of not wanting to do anything at all. Some people would call this depression, but they're wrong. I am not depressed, but on the contrary. I am quite happy, filled with Joy.
I think the problem lies with this deep and hidden desire inside of me to run away from all responsibility. A life where there are no rules, but freedom to live out our purpose. It's almost like I'm looking for Heaven.
I want to sleep whenever I feel like it. I want to eat whatever I want to eat. Who cares about weight gain? Maybe all I want to do is crochet and watch all my favorite programs? Maybe not.
Life cannot be all about doctor visits, schedules, appointments and work. There has to be rest. There has to be relaxation. There has to be days filled with nothing. I am looking for those days more often.
This past treatment took so much out of me. It certainly took a long time away from me. At least, that's how I've been looking at it. I want time away to refresh and smell the roses. Wouldn't you?
Have a blessed day everyone.
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