Four down and 2 more to go. I keep counting down my time as the backup every night as I walk out the door at work. During these past two years, I have come to totally dislike doing this position, almost dreading it. This time around there is something different. The situation hasn't changed. In fact, everything is just the same except me. My attitude has changed and I can almost feel the letting go of the dread and disappointment I've been feeling these past two years.
When my regular shift was eliminated two years ago and my position changed, I gladly accepted what was coming, actually looking forward to the future. My expectations were great, but I have to say, I have been disappointed. I had images of renewing some of these relationships with my co-workers that I once shared in the first years at work. It is true of the saying that we can never go back, it's just not the same.
There is absolutely nothing that I can do to change these people's attitudes toward me and I'm tired of trying. Some things we just cannot change, all I can do is stay true to who I am and what I believe in.
People change and so do relationships. Sometimes life interferes and changes them. Others change to go along with the crowd and belong. There are times where friendships are altered, because one friend has moved forward while the other has remained in one stage of their life. The point here is that life moves forward and that affects our relationships with people.
As I prepare for another day of work, I keep repeating my countdown in my head. I cannot allow others to steal my Joy. I am imperfect. I am human. Yet, I am still a child of The Most High.
Have a Blessed day everyone.
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