A Reflective Rain

There are times when one can not help , but be reflective ... . . . especially on rainy days . There is something so relaxing and calming with the sound of raindrops against the windowpane . All we want to do is curl up somewhere comfy with a good book , a movie or anything of leisure to us . 

Then we begin to think . .  . . 

We think about the good things in life . We think about all our faults . We think about the things we want to accomplish . We think about the unknown future and what it may hold . 

We think and think and think . We think so much that we forget to go out and actually live out our lives . That's exactly my problem . I think too much and over analyze things to death .

Too much thinking has ruined many good moods of mine , because I think more on the negative than I do on the positive . 

Moods are not the only thing too much thinking can ruin . It can think one out of enjoying an event , time spent with loved ones . I , also am guilty of that . 

Many times , my negative thinking has talked me out of going out and enjoying my friends and their celebrations . 

Rainy days can wash away all the good or all the bad thinking depending on how we are feeling . Sometimes , it's just much better to open up that book and lose ourselves in that drama instead of creating our own in our heads .

Have a blessed day everyone . 

Defining Illness

How do we define illness ? What does a sick person look like to you ? How do you know when someone has a disease ?

I believe there is a misconception of what " sickness " looks like . We expect to see a person physically suffering who's appearance shows every ounce of pain they are experiencing . 

Nowadays , there are people walking around with a disease in their life who are working and  volunteering among us and we are not even aware of it . If you were to ask a roomful of people , how many of them have a health problem , you would see a lot of hands . 

We all have something and we're all struggling , trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle and just plain live our lives . We all could use a little help . The problem is trying to find out what kind of help people need .

In my seven years , I've had many volunteers offering to go with me for my treatment , but only two people offered to make a meal for me . Even though , it was great and generous for people to want to come with me , making a meal for me would have helped more . 

At work , I've had co-workers do various minor jobs for me when I was in pain . 

During a Sunday school lesson , a mom  offered to watch my class so I could take communion upstairs . 

My nieces sent me to a spa day and many offered to shave their heads . 

The next time you find out someone you work with , or go to Church with , a neighbor , or  a friend  has an illness , offer to do something for them that is suitable for their needs . 

The following are some suggestions from Charles Stanley on helping someone with their burden .

1. Be there. At times the best "method" of helping is simply to be present. During our darkest hours, we don't need someone who tries in vain to fix everything; we just need a friend.
2. Listen. Don't attempt to give answers or tell people what to do next. Injured souls frequently want simply a listening ear so they can express what's on their mind.
3. Share. Never parade yourself as someone who has all the answers. Instead, allow your own pain and failures to help others.
4. Pray. There is power in speaking people's names before the Lord. When they hear someone talk to Jesus on their behalf, healing often starts taking place.
5. Give. Sometimes helping others involves more than a handshake or warm hug. Maybe they need something financial or material. One of the best measures of sincerity is how much we're willing to give to others.
6. Substitute.You may know an individual who bears the burden of caring for someone else. If you step in and take his or her place for a while, you are emulating your Savior--He, too, was a substitute.

Because we were unable to do it ourselves, Jesus bore all of our sin and sorrow, even unto death. As a result, we can live happily and eternally in communion with our Father. If Christ did that for us, how can we ever say, "I'm too busy to bear someone else's burden.

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

A Book Shelf

One of my favorite Disney Princess has always been Bella from Beauty and The Beast . There is a scene where the Beast shows her the library and her face says it all . That's how I feel about books . 

I remember when my love of reading took root in my life . It began in high school in literature class where we had to keep a journal and read a certain amount of books each month as part of the homework .

  The first book I read was Sherlock Holmes and I feel that's where my love of mysteries began . From that moment on , I read everything  from Harlequin romances , to poetry , to thrillers . 

Since then , some of those tastes have remained and others have been replaced by more intellectual documentaries  , spiritual warfare and self-help editions . My love of books has never strayed and every time I see an IPAD I cringe . I want to feel the book in my hands as I turn the 
pages . 

When we moved into this apartment , many of our books had to be given away for lack of room . I still regret that and wish we could have kept   them . It has always been my dream to have a library like Bella's .

It makes no difference where I'm living , I love my home . I love being surrounded by the things that represent who we are . My home may not be equal in luxuries to others , but it's comfy and perfect for me . 

Right now , we have one book shelf crammed with books , but I know when we move to our dream place , I'll have more . -For now , I'm happy to dream of a wall lined with book shelves .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

May Update

The arrival of  rainy weather has brought on more sleepless nights this month than I care to have . The aftermaths of chemo treatments resulting in early arthritis in my left leg , from knee to toe , causing a lot of tossing and turning in the night . I'm feeling all of my forty-nine years in all the wrong places .

Still , after such a long and very cold winter , this warm weather is a blessing to enjoy , regardless of the discomfort I may experience . I'm thoroughly loving the open window concept and hope it can continue as long as possible before the real heat of summer
 arrives . 

The rain has not been the only storm , since the sirens from police , fire and ambulances has become a frequent sound in my neighborhood . More so now , it seems , then from years past . A few of them to our building concerning our fellow neighbors . 

All of this commotion has brought on a desire in me to pray randomly for strangers that I encounter . This can be a stranded driver with a broken down vehicle or for an ambulance passing by . 

That feeling could be more from the fact that there is nothing going on in our lives , but neutral , calm waters . All the action seems to be taking place with everyone else .

 Friends are moving , some into their first home and some far , far away into a new cultural lifestyle . New additions are coming , some by birth and some by marriage . One even lost her job . 

Yet by us , there hasn't really been any change . We get up , we work , we go to bed . Our life has been very neutral this month and we are grateful for it . Sometimes no news is good news .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Throwback Thursday

It seems that in the three times I've dealt with my cancer's return , I have had a meltdown of some sort . The following is an example of one of those times .

Now I actually have to smile and laugh , because at that time I really thought that it was the worst treatment ever . Little did I know that an even worse one was coming the following year . It just shows you that we really can handle more than we think .

The title " My Christian Hat " , Emily and I , use quite a lot to express our need to vent or tell someone off . Beware ! Our Christian Hat is coming off ! You will hear it often here ,( hahaha ) . Have a Blessed  day everyone .

My Christian Hat

  Today is just not the day. After spending yet another sleepless night in the bathroom every 15 minutes ....I
    ......HAVE ..........HAD.........IT ! Today I'm just plain angry , tired of it all . Enough is enough. I want relief.Everyone better just stay away.
  I drive Emily to work with all these emotions churning inside me.Yesterday , I wrote about brotherly love and today I just want to fight with everyone.How messed up is that? Dropping her off I look around for that delivery man.....better leave me alone today.
   I'm whining......
I have spent the night in the bathroom every 15 minutes.I have burped more than the prenatal unit  at Lutheran Hospital.Drank more water than a whale.Than I had the NERVE to go around boasting to people how I haven't had nausea at all ........really? Until now.That should teach me to just plain shut up.I'm bloated, ankles are swollen,hands and feet are tingling and numb......like when your leg goes to sleep  and you try to move.....AND you think I ate a whole barrel of beans.Can't even enjoy my food.There is an aftertaste of metal in my mouth.My stomache is upset.You think with all of this I would LOSE weight.No, no,no,Lottie has to GAIN weight.
  To make matters worse, I glance at the calendar and realize it has only been a week since the chemo.Only a week........it seems like a lifetime.It has been a very,very long week. I have , At least , 5 long months more of this.Oh goodie.
  I think back to my title ,"Enjoying The Journey ".I really don't know where the title came from.I just started typing and it appeared.Are you enjoying it yet ,Lottie?
   After this emotional outburst I realize I need to just stay in ...lock the doors and not answer the phone.My Christian  hat has been teethering ......TEETHERING.For the safety of others , I recline to the armchair with Emily on the sofa..Both of us wearing the latest fashion in mixmatched wouldn't be caught dead in lounge wear.
   Emily pops a French movie  in with subtitles  and I feel a tug on my crocheting hook......its Diamond , the cat, having a ball with the yarn rolling around playing.This is not bad.This is kind of nice.
   Glance down at my big feet and a big smile appears.........just realized something........I won't have to pluck anything or shave anything for months. : )

A Well-Lit Path

There are times when God's plan isn't always crystal clear . . . . but His path is always well lit .

When I began my spiritual renewal a few months ago , I was completely naive . I expected an immediate change and of course , that didn't 
happen . Change can occur suddenly or it can take a matter of time . 

Lately , I have been feeling neutral , watching people go through things in their lives , some good and some not good . The changes are crystal clear . It makes no difference on what is going on , the fact is , things are happening . 

Emily and I have been waiting . . . for what , we're not really sure . Our lives have taken on a neutral status . We're neither up , nor are we down . . . . we're just waiting . 

Still , our path is the same  and we intend to remain on it . We have made a covenant with Jesus and there's no breaking that ! Things may be a little difficult with taking too long  or things are not going the way we want them to be , but we will wait on the Lord . 

Our faith does not waiver . We are followers of Jesus Christ and His path is the only path . It will lead us on our next journey as long as we stay on it . 

So for now , we watch as our friends move on their own journeys with happiness for them . We support and aid them in any way we can . We know that when our turn comes , they will do the same for us .

Have a Blessed day everyone and stay faithful . 

Sterotyped

For as long as I have had cancer , the way it has been  portrayed on television always makes me smile . It usually begins this way :

The victim sits in a recliner with an afghan  covering their legs . Their faces are drawn into a frown , their skin pale and without makeup .  Sometimes a shawl is covering their shoulders and almost definitely a scarf on their head . At home , they are throwing up in the bathroom repeatedly and there is always a friend who buys them a joint to smoke for the pain . 

That's basically an old version of a cancer patient . Yes , we are bald . Yes , we sit in a recliner as we receive treatment . That's when the similarities end .  For the most part , we lead or at least , try to lead normal lives .

If we look sickly , pale and are throwing up , we are seriously sick . Treatment has come a long way and with the use of steroids , we can hold our cookies well .

Unfortunately , there has been a cancer invasion . We either know someone with cancer or we have cancer ourselves . It is no longer a distant , hidden away illness that is spoken in hushed voices . 

I cannot tell you how many times  women have approached me with various questions when they learned I have ovarian cancer .
People have become aware of cancer more than ever before . They want to know about it all they can .  

Please don't misunderstand me that I'm making light of a very serious disease . There are many people who have a tremendously hard time with acceptance . The treatments are no laughing matter nor are there any easy side effects . Chemo is chemo , anyway you look at it . 

The point I am trying to make is that we no longer play victim to cancer . We try to lead normal lives as much as we can . We continue to work , play and go on living . That's the best remedy that I can prescribe . 

It would be nice to see the entertainment industry  portray us more in that light than in their version . It's not the end , until it's really the end . Have a Blessed day everyone . 

I Am A Christian

The Cross In My Pocket
by: Verna Mae Thomas

I carry a cross in my pocket
a single reminder to me
of the fact that I am a Christian 
no matter where I may be .

This little cross is not magic
nor is it a good luck charm .
It isn't meant to protect me
from every physical harm . 

When I put my hand in my pocket
to bring out a coin or key
the cross is there to remind me 
of the price  He paid for me .

It reminds me too , to be thankful
for my blessings day by day
and to strive to serve Him better 
in all that I do and say . 

It's also a daily reminder 
of the peace and comfort I share
with all who know my Master
and give themselves to His care . 

So , I carry a cross in my pocket
reminding no one , but me
that Jesus Christ is Lord of my life 
if only I'll let Him be . 

Don't Open That Door

Putting away the baking pans into an already jammed  cupboard , Emily remarks laughingly ,
" Don't open that door ."

Sometimes , we need to pick up all our excess baggage and store it away in a hidden cupboard so we can take a deep breath of freshness . That's our agenda this weekend .

The phones are off and comfortable clothes are worn . The sounds of the outside world can be heard in the background where they belong . Everyone residing in their favorite corner with their favorite passions . Even Diamond lays nestled in her favorite chair .

This weekend , all our worries , all our stress , all that garbage that keeps us awake at night has been sent on a mini vacay . We are resting and refreshing our souls .

Life is full of just plain stuff and we can get so muddled up in all the whys and don'ts and no's . Everyone needs that break to sink oneself into the beauty of God's creation . . . . this world .

Whatever your passions are and wherever they may take you depends on how much time you give yourself to enjoy and explore them . Don't get mixed up by the garbage of your life . Leave it at the curbside and just breathe in the freshness of relaxation .


So if you don't us or hear from us this weekend , don 't worry , we will emerge come Monday all smiles . For now , don't open that door !

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Being Grateful

I truly have so many reasons to be grateful . If I sat down and started writing all of them down , that would be a very long list . Isn't that what Ann Voscamp did ?

When life is grand and everything  is coming up roses , it's pretty darn easy . Let's sit down and make that list when our world is crashing down , that's the true test .

I've joined  " The Happiness Journal " on Facebook where we list three things we are happy/grateful for on a daily basis . Even during my worst days , I can easily come up with something to thank God . When we are on our knees , that's when we appreciate the things we do have .

What are you grateful for in your life ? Do you appreciate the things you have ? Or only when things turn sour ?

It's so easy to lose track of what means the most to us . We become so engrossed in our hobbies , our work , that we forget the passage of time . When we finally look up , it's almost too late to do anything about it . Don't let that be you . Take the time today to love and appreciate all the people in your life that mean so much .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

The Arrival Of Summer

The weather has been wonderful here and we are certainly enjoying the benefits . The  windows are opened and curtains are billowing . Both of us have re-arranged our bedrooms with the beds right by the window to enjoy both the breeze and the view .

Everyday the noises from outside our windows are deafening with the delights of children playing after school and the occasional irritable outburst from the motorists .

On weekends , the streets are filled with various activities of children playing ball or riding their bikes with their parents . Homeowners have beautified their porches and patios with potted flowers and the lawnmowers are  roaring in full force . The smell of early BBQ fills the air .

Summer is almost here .

Just as the sun shines brightly , there is a darker side as well . Shouts of anger can be heard as friends or lovers fling abusive words or fists at each other . There is a STOP sign near my bedroom window and the angry retorts and hand gestures are repeatedly heard through the open windows . One can hear the sirens in the faint distance of the ambulance or police car .

We just cannot get along .

The skies can darken with stormy clouds and downpours of a heavy rain come streaming upon us . . . . threatening and violent with an unspoken rage . What is left behind may look wild and unruly in design , yet bringing out the colors of every leaf and blade of grass . Buds appear almost out of nowhere .

New life begins .

We flock to the beaches and the parks as they  overflow with the sounds of children both laughing and crying . We absorb the rays from the sun with an obsession and thirst to enjoy every drop so we can remember on cold winter nights .

The fruits have never tasted as sweet or the ice cream as inviting . Our workday seems long as we watch the beautiful day unfold , with the promise of a cold beer waiting in the fridge for us  .

Yes , Summer .

We have waited almost impatiently for your arrival , longing for the feel of the warm sunshine upon our face . We close our eyes and savor your stay , not wanting you to ever leave us .

Throwback Thursday

I've always driven used cars and anyone that knows me has heard me complaining about my car troubles . During my second bout  with cancer , my car really was acting up constantly with silly things like a screw getting loose or something minor like that . I was literally at my little brother's place every couple of days .

 

I was convinced my car was sick right along with me .I also had major FMLA problems  with paperwork getting lost , my insurance was getting cancelled by mistake , things like that . 

 

My life was so out of whack , so out of place , even my emotions ran wild and no one knew it . To the outside world , I was calm as a cucumber . When we went to that concert that night , I felt God's love envelope me in His loving arms . To this day , I wish people that same experience whenever I write a greeting to them .

My Car Has Cancer , Too

  I think My car has cancer right along with me . Eversince , this "thing "has come back , my car has been acting up getting an attitude. Just this week , while pulling out of my brothers house , I developed a flat tire. How ? Where ? You're kidding right? No folks , I'm not . Sometimes , I think  JESUS  himself is driving my car because there is no way it could hold up otherwise.
   Then there is all the lovely paperwork that gets lost or entered wrong .Just last week it took two days to correct a mistake  that resulted  in my insurance card being expired . Had to pay full price for all my prescriptions.Thats not even fiunny when you have like three of them .Today , I didn't get paid because someone thought to do me a favor and save all my vacation for when I come back .....the vacation is good only until the end of the year . I won't be back by then . I guess , they thought I would be grateful, instead I'm just broke.
  I could go on and on but then why should I relive it over again . My only consolation is that this time around I'm able to catch the  mistakes right away AND people are really nice in trying to fix this . Just to let you get an idea of how it was last time........I didn't get paid for 6 weeks......6 weeks . I guess they thought I didn't need the money .  My sister-in-law, Tammy , was wonderful in handling all these things for me back then .
  I believe the devil has been chasing me  and chasing me but he just can't seem to catch me . He's been throwing monkey wrenches in my path trying to discourage me.To make me cry and feel helpless . I don't need him to tell me I'm not in control . I know I'm not in control here . The thing is , he seems to think he's in charge .
  No matter , how bad things get , God takes care of me . HE always seems to send an angel disguised  as a girlfriend , fellow churchgoer , a small gesture by a stranger or a loved one . AND they provide me with a hug , a word of encouragement , a card sent or a small squeeze on the shoulder while passing by .
  Today , God sent me an angel called Belen. As I cried my troubles out to her , she encouraged me . AND tonight we are going to Casting Crowns Concert and we're going to jump up and down like little schoolgirls .
   As for that cancer stricken car , its gonna be okay , because its strong and GOD is behind the wheel!

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Throwback Thursday

    To say I was angry during this next story is an understatement . I was very angry . Sometimes I think it's a curse rather than a Blessing when a long interval between illnesses occurs . During that four and a half years , I began thinking  I might be cured and began making plans for my future . 

   I didn't understand that I could still do everything I ever wanted even if I was sick or not . It's all a state of mind . Another thing I learned  was that we all need to face our mortality , especially when we have a chronic illness . 

   I have come a long way since that time . I'm not afraid of my cancer . It has become a huge part of my life , like a limb . At times , I even forget I have cancer . I am not about to stop living because I have a disease . Nor should you . 

Getting Angry

   Last night as I was "blogging" I could feel a certain anger rising . It really surprised me since I wasn't writing on an "angry" subject.I guess I have been suppressing my anger regarding this cancer comeback.I am angry.I AM ANGRY.
   Why shouldn't I be?! Last time I almost died.I am a miracle .What I'm going through now is a picnic compared to the first time.It took all of the 4 1/2 yrs. to move on. My body still hasn't completely healed.Its not just about healing physically but also mentally.
    I really, really wasn't expecting to go through this again...... AND it upsets me .Things were just starting to fall neatly into place.My feet were feeling the ground again.....firm ground .I could look into the future and actually see something . I was even starting to lose the weight.
   Now what ? Back to square one.Its like running a race and a block before the finish line someone yells FOUL and you have to go back to the starting line.Well , I don't want to do this again .Its not just 6 months of treatment . Its 4 1/2 yrs of everything......of dealing with a body that doesn't resemble or act anything like it used to .
   Then you get everyone on the sidelines telling you "stay positive" or "you can do it" or " you're stronger than you know". Easy for everyone to say . People are afraid of getting a shot .......how about taking my spot then?
   Wow ! Didn't know all this was in me . Almost scary.....to think I could be so angry. Eve just had to touch that apple.

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Praise Him In The Storm

Praise Him in the storm .


We all have heard that expression or even had people say it to us at one point or another . Years ago , that simple , yet true , line would irritate me beyond words . It was always spoken by someone who had a huge grin on their face and totally happy with their life .

There is nothing worse than seeing others enjoying life when yours is falling apart . When we are down , it's difficult to be happy for others . None of us want to admit that , but it's true .

As a Christian , my goal has always been of trusting God completely with my life . In my naivety , I've assumed that it could be achieved almost overnight . What I found is that it is a process that can take years to achieve . Saying it and doing it are two separate things .

We tend to praise God when things are going great . When things are smooth sailing , God is good all the time . One small mishap , we're still smiling , but perhaps not as brightly . As the week progresses , these mishaps start piling up into a mountain - size trial .

As our problems rise , our praise of God starts to waiver and we question Him " why , Lord , why " ? All our troubles seem so huge and overwhelming as if the end was here . Once the storm is over , they seem like nothing .

This is the stage I am at now . I begin strong and somewhere in the middle of it all , I start to feel sorry for myself and my situation . I stop the heavy praying , the praising , the begging and I sit quietly . . . exhausted , waiting for God .

Even though I have progressed some , I'm still disappointed in myself . I may sit quietly waiting upon the Lord , but I should continue praising Him while waiting . In this , I feel ashamed .

Just recently having come out of a storm , I feel the shame of over reacting in my disappointment , my begging , in fact , all of the above . I came through it , so why didn't I continually praise Him during this storm ? That is my shame .

I know our journey is a lifetime journey and we grow as we go , but I wish I would grow just a little faster . Have a Blessed day everyone .

I Hate Carpets

I hate carpets , especially the apartment style beige types that show every stain . Why do landlords choose this light color ? Why not something darker ? Doesn't that make more sense ?

I literally had to purchase a rug shampooer to maintain clean and fresh carpets . There are large area rugs throughout my apartment to prevent the dirt from settling in . 

Whenever I walk into a place where there are hardwood floors , I'm full of envy . All they have to do is sweep the floor . 

I think there is a tiny piece of  wanting to keep up with the Jones 's within all of us . It comes out occasionally to rear its ugly head . There are times I love my little apartment and times I'm plain frustrated with it . 

Today  has been the latter . Lord  knows that I have no time during the week , the time I do have should not be spent cleaning ! I am very fortunate to have a daughter who makes dinner , goes to the store and takes care of basic errands . 

Whenever I start grumbling about time or cleaning or dirt , she always makes the same remark :

We're living life , mom . We're going to make dirt . 

I hate when they grow up and start making more sense than us . Have a Blessed day everyone .

Simply A Meal Plan

So what does our meal plan for the week look like ? Well , that depends on the shopping expedition and the sale items featured . I don't go into a store with a list unless I am preparing a particular dish for an event . Otherwise , I buy what is on sale and plan my meals accordingly . 

A typical meal plan for the week looks something like this :

Sunday
Butternut squash casserole 
Cucumber , tomato , onion and broccoli salad with vinaigrette .
We love using raw veggies and we make our own dressing
 using    vinegar , lemon juice   with lots of seasonings .


Monday
Yellow wax bean and tomato wrap with a dollop of sour cream and grated cheddar cheese . 
Of course , we do not use oil or butter to saute the veggies , but coconut oil . 


Tuesday
Fruit salad with plain yogurt and whipped cream . 
This is one of our favorites , especially in the summer with all the different fruits available . Emily makes a great homemade whipped cream and we use the juice from the orange to coat the salad . 

Wednesday
Pasta shells stuffed with ricotta or farmers cheese in tomato sauce . Regular green salad on the side with vinaigrette . 
Pasta is one of our favorites and honestly , it's difficult to give it up .

Thursday
Boiled tropical yucca with grilled onions 
Tomato/onion salad in sour cream
I make the yucca the same way as a potato since they are similar 
in taste . Make sure you coat the salad completely in sour cream and refrigerate for a while before serving .The flavors have time to blend well .

Friday
Baked potato with dollop of sour cream
Sauteed  broccoli and green beans 
Whenever time is an issue , I make a baked potato and a side dish . Veggies only take a few minutes to saute . 

Saturday
Cooked white rice 
Broccoli, tomato , zucchini salad in vinaigrette
This combination tasted really good , but that could be since we haven't had rice for a while .

Sunday
Orzo with tomato , broccoli, green bean , corn  feta cheese in vinaigrette salad 
Emily made this dish and it was so delicious , one of my favorites for  . She sauteed the broccoli , corn and green beans and then diced them along with the other ingredients . A great dish to take to a potluck .

If anyone has any vegetarian or fruit dishes to share , please contact me at lottiekrol@yahoo.com .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Simply A Meal

What are you eating ? You eat the weirdest things .


I am famous at work for eating weird food , at least according to my co-workers . I don't consider myself a food gourmet or new age food 
anything , just a lover of fruits and vegetables . 

I have found that people really don't eat a lot of vegetables and a bare minimal of fruit . In fact , few people go beyond the usual supply of oranges , apples and bananas , trying out  star fruit or even dandelion leaves in their diet . 

Emily and I are these type of people , hence the apprehension of my co-workers . When we made the decision to eat healthy , we  quickly found out it can be a life of bland eating unless we venture out into other cultures and their food . 

We shop at a fruit/vegetable market where the selection is wide and varied . We also found that the appearance of a particular vegetable does not disclose their flavor . Something really unappealing as a tropical yucca can look disturbing , yet taste quite yummy . 

If you were to walk into our kitchen  and take a peek into our cabinets , you won't find items such as canned anything ( maybe beans ) in there or frozen stuff in the freezer . When I say we have made a change to live healthy , I mean we have made a change . 

I am very fortunate to have a daughter who can make anything as long as she has the bare essentials . There is always plenty of flour , baking powder , eggs , sugar , yeast and milk , to name a few , on hand . Emily has taken our style of living to another level where we make our own tomato sauce , pancakes , , crepes , etc. you name it . No longer do we even bother shopping in the aisles of boxed , frozen or canned goods . I have Emily , that's enough .

We eat together  one meal , the main meal , and fend for ourselves for the remainder . Breakfast for me usually includes oatmeal , or a poached egg on toast or plain yogurt with fruit . A large bowl of fruit sits on our kitchen table , which I love to snack on  . 

Emily has different tastes as far as snacks go . She indulges on kale and broccoli chips and popcorn . Yes , popcorn ! We have bought a popcorn maker that pops by electricity/hot air instead of using oil . While the popcorn pops , on top you can melt the amount of butter if you choose to use any . Emily makes her own seasonings to coat her popcorn and opts for no butter . 

Of course , we are no angels , we need some sugar , too . We do indulge with homemade brownies or puddings . We do not deny ourselves the simple pleasures of good eats . Remember , we are no longer dieting , just making healthier choices . Just this weekend , she made cinnamon biscuits and we certainly indulged !

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

I Remember . . .

It's funny how certain things come to mind at certain times . Today is the perfect example of that . I fell in love with poetry in High School and today  I  thought of this poem by Thomas Hood . 

 I remember

the house where I was born

the little window where the sun

came peeping in atmorn

he never came a wink too soon

nor brought too long a day

but now

I often wish the night

had borne my breath away

I remember

the roses

red and white

the violets and the lilycups

those flowers made of light

the lilacs where the robin built

and where my brother set

the laburnum on his birthday

the tree is living yet

I remember

where I was used to swing

and thought the air must rush as fresh

to swallows on the wing

my spirit flew in feathers then

that is so heavy now

the summer pools could hardly

cool the fever on my brow

I remember

the fir trees dark and high

I used to think their slendor tops

were close against the sky

it was a childish ignorance

but now tis little joy

to know I'm farther off from heaven

than when I was a boy

Have a Blessed day everyone .

The Weekend Ahead

Words are so very powerful . Words can change a person's outlook on their day in a heartbeat . One can start their day in a glorious mood and all they have to do is encounter a grumpy , hurting soul who says one word and the mood has been changed for the remainder of the day . 

Words can wound a person who may already be on the verge of despair . Words are very powerful  and we need to use them with care . 

Last night , I was that person who went around with a smile and all around me was the opposite . What kind of day do you think I ended up having ? 

The weekend is here , let's try our very best to make someone's day instead of ruining it . If you have been hurt and need healing this weekend , let me try to encourage you with these . 

1. Cry as loud and as often as you want , let it all out . 
2. Have some " me " time pampering yourself with a bubble bath or salon visit . 
3. Have a glass of wine , you'll definitely feel better . 
4. Visit your girlfriends . They'll take care of all of the above for you . 
5. Know that you are loved by a King Most High , Jesus Christ , and when He finds out , He'll sift them as wheat !

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Throwback Thursday

Whenever we have questions regarding our family background , we look back to our ancestors  for the answers . Probably the only time we do so .

 We blame genetics for all the unpleasant stuff that we don't want to claim for our own  like alcoholism , gambling , cheating .

Since the story below , I have undergone genetics testing for my cancer and it does not run in my family . . . .  .so far . The entire process took a few meetings , but what an interesting experience . We may make many claims to things running in our genes , but proving it is a lot harder than we may think .

 All these characteristics in us we aren't very proud of  can't all be blamed on great-great- so and so . Let's own up to who we are and how we got there .

I , Genetics

  We can become quite "comfortable" with our family history. I know I have. Looking back ,it almost gave me a false sense of security knowing that the women in my family live well into their nineties. My grandma is 92 yrs. old and in better health than me. Of course, I believed I was in that elite group of women.
  In 2007 , I was diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Thats a pretty bad cancer to have because it keeps coming back.Just keeps coming back.....like a dandelion that you pull out and it just grows back.Annoying ? You better believe it.
   When my healing began , that's when I hit the internet in search of other ovarian cancer survivors.It was so very important to  me than to find at least one woman who didn't have to keep going thru this over and over again.It was like a mission and a mission that proved almost impossible.
   I read bio after bio of women who were fighting this disease.I found one woman who has been a survivor for 12 yrs{at that time}but dealt with the cancer 4 times.It was so depressing but I could not walk away from that computer.With tears I searched site after site looking for some affirmation that I would live.I needed someone to tell me ", you will live".
  So here I am surrounded by women living to a very old age . How did I get so " lucky" and be the one in the family with this cancer? Apparently, my cancer could be genetic because of my age. At that time , I was 42 yrs.old . So who in  my family ? One little Aunt Emily {grandma's sister}that lived in France who died in her forties from a "women's cancer". Unbelievable. ........1 person..........how many generations ? Genetics , folks ,genetics.
  Will I live into my nineties? Probably not. Do I really want to live that long ? Probably not , not if this keeps coming back all the time.I do know ,  I don't want to die from cancer . I want to die in my sleep ....its less painful that way.

Have a Blessed day everyone .