Throwback Thursday

Every week , as I embark on the next story of my past , I'm flooded with memories . . . . some good and some not so good . I remember the following story quite well . Going through cancer the second time was a very distressing time for me . I honestly believed I would die and had to deal with my mortality . Every person dealing with a chronic illness has to accept death as a friend instead of as an enemy . I have seen too many patients refusing this stage of their life , only to be miserable and depressed during the entire illness , wasting precious time with loved ones . My future is still a blank page , all except for the last page , my destination . . . . . Heaven . 

A Blank Page

  Sat down to write my daily blog and my mind went blank just like the page in front of me.What I planned to write suddenly I couldn't remember.I guess God had other plans for me.
   All day today I walked around with a smile on my face and a happy retort on my lips.Everyone I ran into gave me hugs and told me how sorry they were .They  were very sincere..you could feel it in their embrace and their voice.
   I realize now that I've been faking it.You see,tomorrow I will be starting my first chemo treatment.Didn't realize just how depressing that really is.As I sat staring at that blank page , I realized that this blank page represented my future.
    I remember feeling the same way the first time around.I didn't see a future then.It was totally blank.Just like now.A blank page.
   But there is a difference the second time around.My feelings are different.My approach is different and yes my outlook is different.
  This blank page represents to me my future that is unknown to all of us.No one can predict the writing that will go on this blank page.There is only one person who can and HIS name is JEHOVAH.