Storms From The Past PT.3

At my appointment , the doctor examined me with a growing urgency in his manner . He sent me on numerous tests , all pointing to one thing . . . .it looks like it might be cancer . All the doctor needed was the results of the CT scan to be sure . I went home knowing it was time to tell my family .

The person I am now , is not the person I was back then . My mom always described me as a  " strong as a bull "  type . They never saw me in a weakened state let alone imagined me that way . My family was devastated by the news . I , on the other hand , handled it like I handled everything back then . . . . .

Let's go in there , take that tumor out , get a hysterectomy , recooperate and move on to the next . Wam bam , next !

That's how I was concerning everything . No time to cry . No time to think about anything . No time to deal with feelings and emotions . Just do it and move on .

I didn't go back to work that night . I was getting cramps and it was uncomfortable to move around . My mind went into overload concocting a mental list of all I needed to accomplish before going for this surgery . There was grocery shopping to do , bills to pay , laundry etc. and my weekend passed quickly .

On Monday , the results came in and the doctor's suspicions were confirmed : I had ovarian cancer and needed a hysterectomy . Can I please come to the hospital as soon as possible ?

My first night at the hospital was spent preparing my tired , worn out body for surgery . I was shocked to find I  needed a blood transfusion . The night before the surgery , I had to drink a hefty gallon of this foul tasting liquid . I needed to clean out my pipes where they would be clear like water . I didn't sleep a wink .  I remember talking to Joey on the phone , when suddenly , I would throw the phone down and make a dash for the bathroom frantically dragging my I.V. stands  with me  ,barely making it . I have no idea how I survived that night . I remember that soooo distinctly . What an odd thing to have etched in one's mind .

I can't believe how naivee I was about the whole thing . Not one time did I ever think about dying or having cancer . I don't think I even understood what that really meant to have cancer . I remember sitting on the hospital bed the night before my surgery and being happy that I wouldn't have a menstrual cycle anymore .

Looking back now , I can't believe how unpepared I was for what was coming . Within the next 24 hours , this independent woman who took care of things will suddenly need others to take care of her .
Have a Blessed Night everyone .