Wanted - Ooomph!

   I was up and out early this morning ,  anxious to get my checklist done . After making sure I had plenty of crackers , miralax and anti-diarrhea medicine ......I headed home looking forward to a hot bath and some tea with lemon .
  Walked in to find my little bitty kitty went after all my ornaments , DVD player laying  on the floor and the lamp was overturned . Bless her heart she was nowhere to be found . As I  was cleaning up this surprise that was left for me , I noticed out of the corner of my eye something furry ran past.......very quickly ! Feeling disappointed that I can't thank her properly , I walk into the kitchen . Her face is the size of a child's palm yet the way she eats makes one think she is an ogre !! Cat food all over my floor .
  You think I would be mad , but I feel nothing . Not even a smile . I've lost my oomph ! At first , I was worried that maybe I'm slipping into a depression but I quickly realized its not sadness I've been feeling  . I simply feel nothing . My body and mind went into a neutral zone .
  Yesterday , I have told you about my friend , Linda . Today , I want to tell you about the third cancer patient at church  or rather his wife , Adrianna . They are a young couple in their early thirties with three children ( a set of twins 8yrs and a baby 1yr). Her husband just had a bone marrow transplant and they were awaiting test results . She said to me , that it didn't matter if the results came out great because they were at the point where nothing fazed them anymore . It's like , okay , what's next ?
  I understand what she means . This is exactly where I'm at , too . Things are going good. Chemo is taking effect ........for now ......until the next time . It has turned into a lifestyle . A way of life for all of us . It will never be the same .....no matter what happens .
  Can't shake this feeling that my neutral zone means something . I really don't think we just stopped feeling , rather , I think we 're beginning an acceptance of our new life . Are we on the brink of a new chapter ? A very scary emotion for me . Who knows what He  has in store for me now . It could be something I don't want to deal with at all . Especially , since this time I don't want to deal with anything .