A Cold Blistering Sunday

The weather forecast calls for 90% chance of rain, and we prepare carrying our umbrella. You just know it will rain all day. That's what happened this weekend. It's been raining, drizzling at times and an outpour at others. The wind has been blowing and the mighty trees have been swaying. It looks more like the approaching of Fall rather than Summer.

I sit at my desk in front of my window, watching people huddled in jackets under their umbrellas hurrying with their errands. Huddled, because our bodies brace themselves automatically against the chill. No matter what Fall gear they're wearing on top like jackets, hats and scarves, it's all worn over shorts. Almost as if refusing to accept this weather.

That's what my desk looks like today, like that picture above. The window pane is streaked with raindrops and tea with honey warms my belly. A desire to write overwhelms me as the picture in front of me unfolds.

There is comfort in the storm. Nothing explains His power better than a blistering storm outside my window. For all that is going on out there, I am comforted and safe inside, all fear escapes me. I can witness all the strife, but I am comforted with His love. I am safe within His arms.

I have never been afraid of storms. To me, it has always represented a washing away of the old and dirty, bringing forth a new growth, greener and better than before. Just try to remember how green it is after a good long storm, almost like a rebirth. Shed that skin, shed that sinful layer. Come forth and let the rain wash over you in a refreshing cleanse of redemption.

Christ alone, Cornerstone
Weak made strong in the Savior's love
Through the storm
He is Lord
Lord of all

Happy Sabbath everyone.

Love, Child Style

I love children, period. It does not matter to me what color they are or gender. To me, a child is a child. I could take a stranger's child and raise them up as mine, loving and caring for them completely.

I've always wanted many children, even secretly hoping for a set of twins. Unfortunately, things didn't quite work out that way. I did have four children, but have only two to show for it.

The other day as I was looking through some old papers, I came across  the grave markings of my son's graves. It's been a very, very long time since I've been to their graves.

In the earlier years after their deaths, I visited regularly usually with family members. I would watch them literally bawl their eyes out in grief and yet, no tears came from me. I didn't feel anything sitting at their graves. For a long time, I felt inept as a mother because of it. How could I not cry at their graves?

Yet, I would arrive home afterwards and think about them. I would remember their scent and the tears would come. I could remember their last day as if it happened yesterday. So why couldn't I cry at their graves?

It took many years for me to realize that I felt their presence around me everywhere I went, especially at home. That grave, that cemetery had nothing to do with them except the fact they were buried there. They lived their lives here with me, no matter how short. Their memory wasn't in that cemetery. Their memory lives inside of me.

Ever since I found that slip of paper, I've been wanting  to go visit that gravesite. I'm not sure of  the why. All I know is that suddenly I needed to go. Would I be able to even find them after all this time? Most importantly, what would I feel?

Well, there's only one way to find out.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Throwback Thursday

Looking back on my life with cancer, I am so very grateful to have this precious gift of life. This journey has taught me so much about myself, about the people in my life and about my relationship with God.

The idea of death is something we all need to deal with at some point in our lives. I just have to deal with mine a little sooner than most. Once you make that  decision, life becomes easier and a lot enjoyable.

Acceptance

    The morning sun streams across my bedroom filling it with a warmth that is a lie . It's freezing outside . Winter is coming . As sick as I have been feeling , my mood is pretty bright as the sun outside . I feel different this week . Acceptance is settling in . No more anger or disappointment at having to relive cancer again . It has become a way of life for me and it's time for me to make peace with it .
    My priorities in life have changed once more . All I want now is to live a peaceful life . I want to live a certain way . Carefree and worry free that ' s the new  me . I want to run away to the country more than ever .
    For the first time in a very long time I feel thankful . There are no regrets any longer . I needed to go through life to be where I'm at now . I definitely wouldn't have been the same person unless I experienced every miserable moment . We don't want to think about the bad times but it's the bad times that define us . Make us who we are .
   Am I scared ? You better believe it . I have no clue as to what is coming . Yesterday , I saw Adrianna 's husband and he looked wonderful . Happy , smiling  and his hair growing back . Came down to take pictures of his children during Sunday school. We all have to move forward . Acceptance .

Simply Words?

Words hold plenty of power. If you're a human being living on this Earth, you have been both a victim and a victor of words. Why do people want to hurt one another so very badly, especially with words? Sometimes, I think we are so engrossed in this world that we forget what we are doing and saying.

Words have a huge affect on how our day goes, how we feel about ourselves and how we deal with others. Words can affect our whole outlook on relationships with those around us.

Words are one of the reasons why I have a difficult time living in the secular world. I don't even think that people are aware of what they are saying. They just blurt out the first thing that pops into their heads.

There is a STOP sign right in front of our building. If you could hear some of the things that come forth out of these mouths. It's like pop=pop=pop without a second thought. I wonder if I recorded them and played it back to them, how would they react? Would they be ashamed? No, they would be on the defensive, feeling justified for their behavior.

I, myself have lost my cool on occasion, but believe me, I recover a lot faster than some. If not, The Holy Spirit or Emily will quickly bring me back. It has happened.

He who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love.
Saint Basil (330-379) 
Matthew 15:18 (ASV) But the things which proceed out of the mouth come forth out of the heart; and they defile the man.


None of us are perfect people and we need constant reminders to stay on the straight and narrow. Let's watch our words, people.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Multi-tasking All The Way

I love to multi-task. One would usually find me in my room, sitting at my desk, with the television playing or an audio on my computer. The computer is on with multiple windows opened at once (my e-mail, Facebook and blog). Next to my desk is my basket of yarn and current piece that I'm working on. Under my desk, there is a small container for all my papers and mail that I need to sort through. On top of my desk, under my keyboard, lies a large calendar with all appointments and important dates penned in accordingly.

I am, somewhat organized. The only problem happens to be that my bedroom is a multi-purpose room, which usually ends up being crowded and cramped. Oh well.

I am at any time working on three of these things at once.  Besides all that, there could be a load of laundry downstairs or a meal being cooked on the stove or oven. I might drop things in here and run out into the living room to vacuum quickly. Whichever, multi-tasking is a way of life for me that I enjoy thoroughly.

When my computer crashed and my phone was not working, I thought I would go nuts. I spent that week only crocheting and watching television. My poor mind went haywire with only that as an activity to process. I learned then that instead of relaxing, I became even more stressed unable to focus and worrying about all that I wasn't doing.

I suppose all of this sounds crazy to you, but time is so important to me. The last thing I ever want to do is waste it. I know that everyone is saying quite the opposite about us multi-tasker's and how we need to slow down, but is it really that bad? Considering how the world has become so demanding of our time, so what if we kill two birds with one stone.

Or at least, that's how I comfort myself. I know that sooner or later, my life will take on a more quiet and leisurely lifestyle. In the meantime, I love to be busy and I love  to multi-task.

Have a Blessed day everyone.

Simply Flax

So lately, my mission has been to ease the pain of my arthritis. The last thing I want to do is pop pills all day long, so the plan is to go as naturally as I can.

I have been trying different methods like soaking in a hot water or stretching exercises. Even when I'm sleeping, I try to elevate my legs or use a ice pack to bring down the swelling. It's hardly 100% proof, more like 50%, but I'd like to think it helps.

I love to hear of natural ways of healing ourselves like in  our grandparents day. People used home remedies to cure or ease their discomfort. When someone brought up flax seeds as a good remedy for arthritis, I thought I'd give them a try.

The fact is, I never knew flax seeds had so many benefits. It's not only good for arthritis (inflammation), but also for lowering your bad cholesterol. All it takes is a small sprinkle over your food or in your drink. Below are more informational facts regarding flax seeds.

 Flax seed nutrition facts

Flax seed, also known as linseed, is one of the ancient cultivated crops since Mesopotamian times, grown for its oil seeds and fiber. Its chewy seeds are packed with full of nutrients, omega-3 fatty acids, antioxidants, minerals, and essential vitamins. Of late, health benefits of flax has widely drawn the attention of nutrition researchers as well as health enthusiasts alike across the planet.

Health benefits of Flax seed

• As in other oil seeds, flax too is one of the very high-calorie foods. 100 g of seeds contain 534 calories or 27% of daily-required levels. Further, the seeds are an excellent source of numerous health-benefiting nutrients, dietary fiber (mucilage), minerals, antioxidants and vitamins that are essential for optimum health.
• Flax seed is rich in monounsaturated fatty acids like oleic acid. It is also one of the top plant sources of omega-3 essential fatty acids such as linoleic acid, alpha-linolenic acid (ALA) and arachidonic acids. Regular intake of small portions of flax seeds in the diet helps to lower total as well as LDL or “bad cholesterol” and increases HDL or “good cholesterol” levels in the blood. Research studies suggest that Mediterranean diet that is rich in fiber, monounsaturated fatty acids and omega-3 fatty acids help to prevent coronary artery disease and strokes by favoring healthy blood lipid profile.
• Flax seeds are perhaps one of the most widely available botanical sources of n−3 or ω (omega)-3 fatty acids. Flax seed oil consists of approximately 55% ALA (α-linolenic acid). One spoonful of flax seed oil provides about 8 g of omega-3 fatty acids. Research studies have suggested that n-3 fatty acids by their virtue of anti-inflammatory action help lower the risk of blood pressure, coronary artery disease, strokes and breast, colon and prostate cancers. Adequate quantities of n-3 oils are required for normal infant development and maturation of nervous system.
• The seeds contain lignans, a class of phytoestrogens considered to have antioxidant and cancer preventing properties.
• Flax are an excellent source of vitamin E, especially rich in gamma-tocopherol; containing about 20 g (133% of daily-recommended values) per 100 g. vitamin E is a powerful lipid soluble antioxidant, required for maintaining the integrity of cell membrane of mucus membranes and skin by protecting it from harmful oxygen-free radicals.
• The seeds are packed with many important B-complex groups of vitamins such as riboflavin, niacin, thiamin, pantothenic acid, vitamin B-6, and folates. Thiamin is an essential co-factor for carbohydrate metabolism and helps prevent beri-beri disease. Folates help prevent neural tube defects in the fetus when consumed during pre-conception period and pregnancy.
• Furthermore, flax seed is rich source of minerals like manganese, potassium, calcium, iron, magnesium, zinc and selenium.
• Flax or linseed oil has flavorful nutty aroma and has been used in cooking, and as “carrier" or "base oil” in traditional medicines and in pharmaceutical uses.
• 
  Flax Seed is Rich in Omega-3 Fatty Acids: Omega-3 fatty acids are a key force against inflammation in our bodies. Mounting evidence shows that inflammation plays a part in many chronic diseases including heart disease, arthritis, asthma, diabetes, and even some cancers. This inflammation is enhanced by having too little Omega-3 intake (such as in fish, flax, and walnuts), especially in relation to Omega-6 fatty acid intake (in oils such as soy and corn oil).

Have a blessed day everyone.

A Deep Cleanse

Looking around the  kitchen, I quickly noticed how badly it needed a good cleaning and a paint job. In fact, as I walked around the entire apartment, I found things wrong with it.

The hallway carpet needed a good scrubbing, the same boring layout in the living room since we first moved in. Every room that I looked into, I found myself dissatisfied with something. The whole lot should just go. What we needed here was change, a new beginning.

Ever since the disappointment I've been feeling displaced, dissatisfied and discontented. We have been good girls waiting patiently for the next stage in our lives. We've been praying and keeping the faith. We pray, it's a no. We pray again and again, each time a no. It is very disheartening when God keeps saying no all the time.

So I've been left feeling a little left out. Left out from everyone else around me.

Maybe you've fallen into a well of discouragement because compare to " ---------" you're not making nearly the difference he or she is. To all that feel overwhelmed or who are tempted to take a much too critical look at their lives and feel insignificant. Take heart! Do what you can.

Charles Swindoll

Honestly, I don't know what I would do without my devotionals. They always seem to say the exact thing I need to hear. Isn't that amazing?
 
Today, after that awful walk through of our place, we rolled up our sleeves to tackle that discontent in  the only way we knew how. . . . we cleaned. With every dose of elbow grease, it felt like another piece of the puzzle straightened out.

We've always done that in the past, cleaned or organized and somehow, it felt like our life was in order once again. We all need a little cleanse now and then, especially when were waiting.

Have a Blessed day everyone.