The 100 Day Project: Day 22 Of Writing

                                                                            Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                             everyday is a journey.



What channel needs our faith, except the eyes?
    God leaves no spot of earth unglorified;
  Profuse and wasteful, lovelinesses rise;
    New beauties dawn before the old have died.
Trust thou thy joys in keeping of the Power
    Who holds these changing shadows in His hand;
  Believe and live, and know that hour by hour
    Will ripple newer beauty to thy strand.
T. W. HIGGINSON.

It has been one heck of a beginning to a month. For one thing, everything has been breaking. Just last night, I got a text from Emily at work. 

Hey, there was a crash in the pantry and the lamp fell down shattering it's bulb everywhere. 

So what else is new? The oven, the lamp, the curtain rod doesn't want to stay up, the wifi goes off, the cable stopped working when we had it. She continued:

Everything in this place is falling apart. But somehow we are still surviving. 
  
Boy, you got that right! Life keeps moving regardless of what is happening to you at that moment. This is why I have always cared more in the process of relationship with others. I've never cared how many grandchildren I had. All I wanted was a relationship with the ones I did have. I wanted them to remember our time together and who grandma Lottie was.

Since being diagnosed with cancer, relationships took a higher place in my life. That is something, because before cancer, I didn't care for many of the people. I wish I could say that all my relationships are thriving, but that would be a lie. Sometimes, the other person doesn't want a relationship with us no matter how much we try. The door stays shut.

Twelve years and still not mended. Instead, they're torn to shreds. How do we restore the "us" as a unit when it's only the one person trying? You can't. You just keep trying and trying. You never give up hope. Maybe one day. it will be set right.

Have a blessed day everyone.

The 100 Day Project: Day 21 Of Writing

                                                               Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.


I know not what the future hath
of marvel or surprise
assured alone that life and death
his mercy underline
J.G. Whittier

Sitting at my desk and looking out my window, anyone would think it's just another ordinary day. I woke up at my usual time, made my coffee and went to pick up Emily. Something I do every single morning, but today was a bit different.

It may have begun the same way, but it quickly turned a corner for the better. You see, we accomplished a huge goal this morning. One that we have been working and sacrificing for quite awhile now. We can check this one off the list. We paid off a major loan! Praise the Lord!

Back at the start of the year, we set some major goals for ourselves. We wanted to be debt free by the end of this year. Something like that requires quite a bit of dedication. You have to make a decision to give up many things in order to achieve it. 

1. We cook almost every single day, opting to go out once every so many months.
2. Make our lunches and our coffees/teas at home.
3. No upgrading anything unless it totally breaks. 
4. Working all or any overtime available. Holidays/weekends included.
5. Looked at our expenditures and decided on things we don't really need like cable. 

We really needed this moment, because lately, we've been feeling a bit discouraged. All this struggling, all this giving up things while everyone else around us seem to be living it up going out to eat every single day for lunch. Others are busy redecorating their homes buying new furniture. It can be disheartening when one is trying to avoid all that and be good. This morning, this gave us a huge boost to keep moving forward with our plans. Such a relief to be able to pay off a bill this size. Such freedom and that, folks, is totally priceless. 

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 20 Of Writing

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



To every man up on this Earth
Death cometh soon or late
And how can man die better
Then facing fearful odds
For the ashes of his fathers
And the temples of his gods
Thomas B. Macaulay


I couldn't sleep last night, waking constantly. My joints ached badly and I absolutely found no relief in the tossing/turning. My nose was stuffed up and I quickly realized that I had allergy symptoms. This certainly was a first for me. Emily gave me one of her allergy pills and almost immediately I felt much better. Then the drowsiness set in and remained for the remainder of the day. 

To say that work was difficult would have been an understatement! My nose and majority of my face was stuffed. All I wanted was to take a nap. When one is not feeling well, everything seems such a hardship. Finally, the night was over and I couldn't wait to get into bed. Thank goodness, it is only a ten minute drive home from work!

This morning, I awakened after a deep, deep sleep. My eyelids seemed glued shut. For someone like me who isn't used to being medicated, I felt as if I had no control. I probably could have slept the day away. That's how strong that medication affected me. Perhaps, that's why I don't like using any forms of it, opting to deal without. 

My friend Marilyn would have said that the fatigue is more from all our cancer treatments rather than the medication. She might be right. I think the medication affected me so strongly, because my body is exhausted and my strength has never really returned. My body has weakened and it will be many years before it is restored. Who knows, it may never be as it was before the cancer. All I know is that I want to go back to bed.

Have a blessed day everyone.

The 100 Day Project: Day 18 Of Writing

                                                                Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.



The morning drum-call on my eager ear
Thrills unforgotten yet! the morning dew
Lies yet undried along my field of noon.
But now I pause a while in what I do,
And count the bell, and tremble lest I hear
(My work untrimmed) the sunset gun too soon.

—Robert Louis Stevenson.

A few months ago, I started a food journal as a way for me to monitor what I eat. Now, why would I want to do that? Well, you see, I have changed my lifestyle in the past several years. I've changed how I cook and prepare food. If I had to rate myself on how well I've done, I would say I'm at 90% way there. 

Still, there is that 10% that is preventing me from leading a healthy lifestyle. No matter what I try to do, I never quite make it there. That was the whole point of a food journal. I wanted to see what I was doing wrong. 

For one thing, I have noticed that I start off really well. At home, I do everything right. It's when I'm away from home that I make all the wrong choices. I've compiled a small list of these things. 

1. I have no willpower to say no to any kind of junk offered to me. The sweets, the fast food and the junk snacks are my worst enemies. Offer it to me and I will take it fully knowing I will not be feeling well afterwards. 

2. The first thing I do upon arriving at work is to go to the office snack table. You know what I mean? Every work has one where people bring stuff on a regular basis. That leftover birthday cake or snacks from home someone wants to de-clutter. Let's not forget the usual birthday work celebrations, retirements and the famous holiday sweet table. We have one for every holiday out there, even sweetest day.

3. I've also noticed that I would pass over a hearty breakfast, opting for a quick bagel. Bagels have plenty of sugar in them. Not a really good choice, although, I truly love them. Same thing for lunch and totally binge on my supper. No portion sizes there!

4. Which leads me into portion sizes! Yup, I have no idea what they are. I will not waste food, so I feel I need to eat everything off my plate even if I am stuffed. 

5. Recently, I have confided to someone how I eat at night, especially upon returning from a ten hour shift. This person said something quite true here. They said it's not that you eat at night, it's the fact that you are idle after eating. You go to bed. Absolutely right. 

6. I've also noticed that I don't really drink my jug of water when I am at home. I have increased my take of coffee to two large cups (equaling 4 cups total) daily. 

Having this food journal has really helped me focus on the things I need to change to get to my goal of eating 100% healthy and loving it! Now that we have discovered what is wrong, tomorrow we will talk about the changes I've implemented. See you there.

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 17 Of Writing

                                                              Everyday is a brand new day, everyday is a journey.



O power to do
baffled will
O prayer and action
ye are one
who may not strive
may yet fulfill
the harder task of standing still
and good, but wished with God is done
J.G.Whittier

I often think about the trip to Arizona that my older brother Ted and I took together via the train. As much as I love the train, it wasn't that experience that made it so memorable. It was the time we spent together. We sat around and talked about many a topics. He introduced me to a gin and tonic, something I have found quite tasty. I've learned a few things about him that I didn't know until then. 

It's truly times like these that I miss so much and wish they could be experienced on a daily basis. These types of memories are priceless and not many people have them. I find myself extremely blessed to have them.

I am always amazed how many people I have come across who live life totally and completely alone by choice. Here they are facing a huge obstacle in their life with regards to their health and they shut the door on their family. And friends. Why? I have often wondered why that happens and usually to a certain type of person. 

I believe they have always been like that . . a loner, not trusting anyone. Their hearts are closed and cancer seals it even more. If they only knew what they were missing. How much better their life would become and fuller the heart would swell with love. If only they would allow to drop their guard for just a moment. They would see and feel loved. If only.

People will always be people. One cannot tell them anything. They are proud. They are unforgiving. They are hard. They are unmovable. I don't want to live like that. I need relationships. I need people who will love me and be there for me when I need them. And vice versa. Period.

HAVE a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project: Day 16 Of Writing

                                                             Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                              everyday is a journey.




Love and Pain
Make their own measure of all things that be.
No clock's slow ticking marks their deathless strain;
The life they own is not the life we see;
Love's single moment is eternity.

—Thomas W. Higginson

How would you live each day if you knew it would be the last week of your life here on Earth? I know what I would do. I thought about this while at work the other day. Here's my top ten list of my last week of my life.

1. I would ready all the necessary paperwork so my children wouldn't have to search for anything. I would hand over to them all the passwords and documents. 

2. I would take some vacation time off from my work. No need to quit. There's insurance here to collect. Let's be smart about this, folks. 

3. I would go to the country so I would have some beautiful scenery to look at on a daily basis. No concrete or traffic, just birds singing for me every morning. 

4. I would write a letter to all my family and my friends. A good friend of mine had the opportunity to do so for her children. How awesome to be able to do that. 

5. I would eat all my favorite foods and not worry about calories or becoming fat. Extra mashed potatoes and gravy, please!

6. I would crochet and I would write. These two are my greatest joys that I have and I can't imagine not doing either. 

7. I would have long conversations, special supper times,  lovely walks with my children and grandchildren. A cup of coffee with my son every morning and family time with my daughter every evening.

8. I would power watch (binge watching) all my favorite shows and movies that I have been meaning to see. Why not? Maybe even catch up on my reading list.

9. I would pack off my Ministry supplies to a fellow crafter who would continue the work in God's name. Unless, one of my grandchildren would like to follow in my footsteps . . .then it's all theirs. 

10. I would sing all my favorite Christian worship songs at the top of my lungs. Who cares if the neighbors don't like my voice. What are they going to do? Complain? Well, I will stop on the 8th day. 

What would you guys do if this was the last week of your life?

Have a blessed day everyone. 

The 100 Day Project:Day 15 Of Writing

                                                                 Everyday is a brand new day,
                                                                 everyday is a journey.


What heart can comprehend Thy name,
Or, searching, find Thee out?
Who art within, a quickening flame,
A presence round about.
Yet though I know Thee but in part,
I ask not, Lord, for more:
Enough for me to know Thou art,
To love Thee and adore.
F. L. HOSMER

Every single time a Holiday approaches, I become so emotional in what that Holiday represents. Jesus died for me today. He died for us. Do you know that, my friend? Who else do you know that has died and sacrificed so much just for you?

I don't know about you, but I have no one like that in my life. Only Him. Oh, I've had many people say that to me, but could they do what He did? Just for me? Could any of us? I'm not so sure. 

It hurts me to see others treat this day as if it meant nothing. Just another day to sleep in. Just another day to spend money on. Just another day to have a huge meal made. Just another day to indulge in. Just another day.

People have forgotten the importance of what took place all those centuries ago. They are too busy preparing their Easter Egg Baskets, but not their hearts for Him. 

The World has become so materialistic. So greedy for their own pleasure. The real meaning behind every single Holiday out there has fast been getting lost in the merchandise. I hope you take a moment today to thank the One who gave up His life so we could live. Only Jesus. 

Happy Good Friday everyone.