Day Eight

Dear Diary ,

Happy 4th of July ! 

I woke up this morning full of energy . I made coffee for myself and green tea for Emily along with some breakfast . Drawing the living room curtains aside , I pulled the chairs right up to the window , placing our morning meal on the side table  . 

There are many privileges to living in a small village township . One of them happens to be the parade that passes through right in front of our building . This was the first time I would be watching a parade since a wee girl . Never really enjoyed them before until today .

I cannot tell you how much fun we had sitting in our PJ's and  eating our breakfast , while cheering on the floats ! We hollered out the window , clapping and waving wildly like we have never seen a parade . 

We cheered on the basketball , football and cheerleader teams . The Mayor and Alderman passed through and we waved , not caring what Party they belonged . Those cute little Brownies and Boy Scouts ! The band stopped , swirling flags and trumpets blaring , we stood up and marched in place !

We have a milk company  ( who knew ?) and they were passing out mini cartons . Look ! There's one of our Sunday School students riding his decorated bicycle . When the Fire Trucks came roaring through , everyone was on their feet cheering . 

What fun ! I also learned something new about Emily . When she would spend her weekend by her dad's during 4th of July , they would ride the parade ! He would drive an antique car and she would pass out candy to the kids . I never knew that . 

Every year my niece would host this Holiday with a traditional pulled pork and everyone  would bring a side dish . Let's not forget a swimsuit as they have a hot tub . This has become such a tradition that all of their friends are like family to us , some even call my mom " Babcia " . 

It was great to see the family , especially my many nieces and nephews that we don't see on a regular basis . One thing I can say about my family is that we are open to everyone . It makes no difference if you are a  friend , or an in-law of an in-law , I consider you family . Or at least , I do .

The night usually ends with a drive to our local High School for a fireworks display . Did I mention that my niece also lives in the small village as I ? These past two years , I have opted not to go and instead went home . 

It has become a nightmare with the fireworks , with people shooting them off in the streets , alleys , and their backyards . The air was thick with fumes , setting off my fire alarm in my bedroom  that night . I understand people are celebrating , but sometimes ,  people forget what the Holiday really is and just want an excuse to party . 

We ended the day on a very happy note and with another round with the elliptical .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Day Seven

Dear Diary ,

This morning , I set out for my hair appointment at the salon  an hour later than planned  . Mom was meeting me there and she couldn't make it any sooner . I like to start my day early when I have errands so I wasn't a happy camper . 

Many , many moons ago , I had a body wave done and now it has grown out into a frizz . It was time for a trim , so I reluctantly agreed to meet her there . All I had on my mind was idleness .

Traffic was horrible ! Anytime a holiday falls during the week , traffic becomes horrendous . People end up driving crazy , showing their impatience . Suddenly everything takes longer .

It took a lot longer than I expected . After the salon , mom and I went grocery shopping together , which took some more time . By the time I got home it was time to make supper and then the workout regiment . 

When the day turned to night , as I sat on my bed with a glass of wine , I tried to remember what exactly I have accomplished . Ah yes , my hair and shopping was complete . At least that's something !

I did like the feel of my hair . There is something about a new hairdo or dress or nails . It makes us feel beautifully refreshed and suddenly there is a little more vigor in our step . Yes , I'm glad I got my hair done .

Have a Blessed day everyone .

Day Six

Dear Diary ,

I think today was probably one of my favorite day of the week . After a very exhausting day yesterday , today was a lot calmer  and quieter . A lot less  stressful on my old body . 

Since this year we opted to stay home during the summer ,  we made a list of things we wanted to do as a treat that wouldn't hurt our budget . One of the the items on the list was eating out . 

Now that may seem like nothing special to many of people , it is to us . When we made the decision to eating healthier  and living simpler , eating out became limited to certain times a year . Today was the day .

I think we discussed where we would have supper  more fervently than any other subject thus far in our relationship . Since we cook on a daily basis , we wanted something different that we haven't savored yet . 

Sandwiches or burgers were definitely out , we could make that at home . Fast food ? No way ! Emily being a vegetarian ruled out many restaurants who didn't offer a variety of dishes . It's amazing how little there is for vegans or meatless style people ( heehee ) . 

Our choice ended up being Olive Garden . A little pricey , but if one goes out once in a while , it's definitely worth it . Let me tell you , we not only enjoyed that meal , but savored every delicious morsel . 

Of course , working out that night was a real challenge on a full stomach , but we got through it somehow . Off to bed , another active morning tomorrow .

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Day Five

Dear Diary , 

The last thing I wanted to do is head out to Navy Pier with Emily . After running around all weekend , I just wanted to sit down somewhere and do nothing , but crochet or write . 

The train ride for our downtown experience was fun as we took selfies , giggling and laughing at ourselves . I love riding the train ! Whenever I hear the whistle blowing . . . . .  well , I just want to go somewhere .

Getting there itself was quite an accomplishment . Neither one of us are downtown savvy . Let me tell you , diary , downtown is full of activity . Everywhere you look there are people rushing about dressed in all sorts of fashion . 

There are people going to work in business suits , wearing stilettos  : young teens dressed in red , white and blue , carrying the american flag  while singing the national anthem : young parents lugging around their children , bags and strollers heading to the lakefront . 

Let's not forget the musicians playing and Tina Turner lookalike singing , " What's Love Got To Do With It " . We even saw an Amish girl reading a book in a cafe . 

We walked and walked , taking all of it in . We walked past the open market with over-priced goods . We walked past a family of born again Christians standing on the corners holding huge signs declaring " Jesus Loves You " . We did stop there , only to encourage the young teen holding that sign . How brave she was spending her vacation evangelizing God's Word . We left her , smiling so brightly . 

We ate our grapes and apples on the Pier overlooking the lake as seagulls flew all around us hoping for a nibble . Believe me , I was exhausted . When I saw myself in the bathroom mirror , I almost burst out laughing . My face all sweaty , hair all over the place and sunburn everywhere . What a sight !

Riding back on the train with our Dunkin Donut treat ( I had an iced coffee and she had green ice tea ) , I glanced over to my girl . She looked so happy , chatting all the way .

Of course , the day wasn't over . We still had to work out on that darn elliptical . Ugggh , so tired !

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Day Four

Dear Diary , 

I am so bothered by today's turn of events , that it will be a while before I forget them . A wasted horrible day  !

It began so peacefully . I was completely content  where I was at in the morning , lost in my work . On my bed , laid out on every available space , were my crosses . Every single cross was different , unique in his own way . As I stared at my creations , I felt a sense of pride , of ownership at the abundance of my task . 

So engrossed was I , that I didn't notice the hours slipping past until Emily walked in and remarked ;
" Shouldn't you be having coffee with your girlfriend ? "

I groaned , because I didn't want to leave the sanctity of  my room . Who wants to go out into the smothering heat of mid-day ? Who knew two weeks ago when I made the date that I would feel this way . 

Well , that coffee didn't quite turn out the way I had hoped . For some reason , she was very busy making errands and I waited and waited in the heat for  her to be through . Some things are not meant to be , no matter how much you try for it to happen . So I moved on to my next appointment . 

Again , I waited . This time for my ex-boss turned friend . We met at a coffee shoppe that recently opened across the street from work . It was quaintly decorated with white chiffon curtains , gourmet-style coffee and a slice of baklava . Who could say no to all that ?

Whenever we get together , we talk and talk for hours . At eight , the shoppe closed and we just moved onto Dunkin Donuts . More coffee and more chatting while outside a storm thundered and  streets flooded unbeknownst to us . 

Finally , around 10:15 p.m. , we say our goodbyes and head to our parked cars . There was a STORM outside raging and we had no idea ! Driving home was a nightmare filled with my praying all the way . No one was driving in their lane , but in the middle , because we could not see in front of us . Streets were flooded and closed . I had to go around them  and I thought I would never get home . 

I was so upset with myself . I felt like I wasted the entire afternoon and evening doing absolutely nothing . The only saving grace was the meeting with my ex-boss . Even then I couldn't really enjoy it , because I was so frustrated from my earlier appointment . I was hot , sticky and needed a good shower  and change of clothes . 

I groaned out loud in frustration when I thought of next day's activities . Another full day , this time with Emily . When am I going to do what I planned on this vacay ? 

Have a Blessed day everyone . 

Throwback Thursday

When I was in the hospital , a friend gave me a book to read titled , " 90 Minutes In Heaven " . What a powerful book that was since I could relate to the author's struggles . As I read one of the chapters on life after his illness ,  I couldn't understand why he had such a difficult time adjusting to his new life .....until now . 

I've always said I would go back and re-read that chapter , but with a whole set of different eyes . I wonder how I would feel then ? 

I have come a long way since the following story , but there lingers a small part of wanting my ole self back . 

Mirror , Mirror On The Wall

  One of my hardest struggles didn't really come from the actual treatments of my cancer . They came from dealing with the aftermath of having cancer . There is nothing worse than going through a major struggle in your life and you defeat it expecting your life to go back to normal ......and it doesn't .
   Instead, you look in the mirror and see a stranger . Here I have had 4 children and always been thin . This cancer I have gained 80 lbs. My hair was different color and texture . Then there is the different person you are on the inside .
    This was a  major challenge for me . This is another reason why I am so upset this time around . I was just getting used to the " new " me and now I have to erase the slate and start all over . I have gained  7 lbs already. I don't want to go thru that all over again . I don't want to rediscover myself .
   Now I know what you all are thinking and I certainly don't want any emails about how my appearance doesn't matter . I understand all that  but lets be honest , folks , we all have a problem with how we look . Each of us would love to change something about our appearance .
   I don't need to go back to my original  " look ". I'm not that person anymore on the inside  but  I would like to meet somewhere in the middle . I guess , I just don't want to start all over again . I don't want to gain anymore weight . I was happy with the way I was looking. I feel I worked real hard to get to that point and it was for nothing .
   Don't get me wrong , its just my weight. When you've been thin all of your life and then suddenly you're like the opposite its very difficult to deal with .I would be happy with some weight loss . I don't need to be a size 4...I can be a size 12 instead . I do love my curves just not so much of it

Day Three

Dear Diary , 

Today is Sunday  and I had an overwhelming urge to go to Church . Not just any Church , but an unknown Church to me . You see , I didn't want to talk to anyone or have people approach me at all . I just wanted to sit down in a pew , alone with God . Just worship Him , be with Him as if no one else existed . It felt wonderful to just sit there .

After Church , I picked up Emily , who went to our regular service and headed to our local drug store . We have been invaded last night by ants that came through our bedroom windows . All this rain brought the little buggers out . 

Once we started moving things around , we ended up redecorating both the bedrooms . Nothing much except moving some pieces of furniture around . We both ended up liking our new setups better .

As the day ended and light began to fade , I realized I haven't really begun doing any of the things I said I would on my vacation . Uggh , I think I over planned my schedule again . 

Have a Blessed day everyone .