O happy house I and happy servitude!
Where all alike one Master own;
Where daily duty, in Thy strength pursued,
Is never hard or toilsome known;
Where each one serves Thee, meek and lowly,
Whatever Thine appointment be,
Till common tasks seem great and holy,
When they are done as unto Thee.
C. J. P. SPITTA.
I sat inside my car waiting for Emily to finish her shift. I watched several people walking in and out of the coffee shoppe. There came an elderly gentleman with a small cup of coffee in his hands. He went to the wrong car, trying to get in on the passenger side. It was a bright red and his car was silver, yet he could not distinguish the difference. I almost got out of my car to help him, but he quickly recovered finding his own. I was very pleased to see he wasn't alone, but with a family member.
I realized at that moment that aging is horrible. In my own family, growing old means well into your 90's. That's a very long time. When I faced my own mortality back in 2011, I knew that possibility might never happen to me. The possibility of my living old like my ancestors was extremely slim. In actuality, I never thought I would reach the age of fifty. Turning fifty was a huge turning point in my life in more ways than one.
I've been thinking quite a lot about living and getting older. You see, I have an appointment coming up with a financial advisor in regards to my pension. He asked me a specific question that has left me pondering into the aging process. What age do you want to retire?
This has been a question that has resided in my head for the past several years. Somehow, whenever I think of my retirement it is always in my late fifties, but this was something different. I cannot think beyond that period of my life. Don't get me wrong, but I have come to terms with my illness a very long time ago. Time means something so precious to me, more than it does to the average person. And I'm okay with it.
We all want to live as long as we can, but what we fail to see is the quality of life. We imagine ourselves living well into the future, but with the bodies and minds that we have now. Aging must be horrible. I thought of that man often. I'm sure he hates what is going on with his body and mind. It must be difficult to accept the limitations that come with it. I, myself know of the struggles I've faced with my own limitations due to the cancer. I can only imagine they will get worse as I age.
I have no idea what is in store for me in the coming future nor do I want to know. I can and will accept whatever comes. I just hope I can continue doing what I love the most. I am, after all, His humble servant and He holds my life in His loving hands. Let me be productive, Lord, let me be productive.
Have a blessed day everyone.
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