Save us from the evil tongue,
From the heart that thinketh wrong,
From the sins, whate'er they be,
That divide the soul from Thee.
ANON.
I cannot even begin to tell you how stressful, frustrating and emotional week I have had. Let's add the horrible weather that has left my arthritic joints in agony and sleep virtually impossible, this week seemed like a week above all others. We all struggle. Some of us in that one particular area where it seems we cannot win over.
All I want to do is drain all of me out from the past week and fill myself up once again to the brim of Jesus goodness. The essential oils are flowing profusely helping my mind and body regain it's strength. I'm staying in and enjoying the peace and quiet of my sanctuary.
I don't want to cry today nor feel anything in particular. I just want to be. Let's enjoy some clean and healthy Christian jokes. May God be with you in all you do and may He never leave you. Enjoy.
1. Joke
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who’s best at his job. So each one goes into the woods, finds
a bear, and attempts to convert it. Later, they all get together. The priest begins: “When I found the bear, I read to him from the catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his first Communion.”
“I found a bear by the stream,” says the minister, “and preached God’s holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him.”
They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. “Looking back,” he says, “maybe I shouldn’t have started with the
circumcision.”
2. Joke
The last time we changed from daylight saving time, a preacher friend posted, “For those who habitually show up 15 minutes late to church, allow me to remind you that tonight is the night you set your clock back 45 minutes.”
3. Joke
Gary was having a yard sale.
A minister bought a lawn mower
but returned it a few days later,
complaining that it wouldn’t run.
“It’ll run,” said Gary. “But you
have to curse at it to get it started.”
The minister was shocked. “I have not uttered a curse in 30 years.”
“Just keep pulling on the starter rope—the words will come back to you.”
4. Joke
Three guys are fishing when an angel appears.
The first guy says, “I’ve suffered from back pain for years. Can you help me?” The angel touches the man’s back, and he feels instant relief.
The second guy points to
his thick glasses and begs for
a cure for his poor eyesight. When the angel tosses the lenses into the lake, the man
gains 20/20 vision.
As the angel turns to the third fellow, he instantly recoils and screams, “Don’t touch me! I’m on disability!”
Have a blessed day everyone.
No comments:
Post a Comment